My mom calls to chew me out about my college... YIKES!!!

by FreedomFrog 36 Replies latest jw friends

  • FreedomFrog

    So, I was happy and celebrating because of getting good grades in my courses, well I get a call from my mom. At first the phone call was just "hi, how are you" then she laid into me saying my "problem" (meaning my divorce) was because I was putting my education first and not Jah. She goes on to tell me that the "talk today" was about people murmuring as Israelites and bad things happened to them. She said that they wanted more and more and that I was doing the same thing in trying to get a career getting more money… and blah, blah, blah.

    She tells me, “Gina, if you would just come back to Jah, then ALL of your needs will be met. Sure, you won’t have a nice house of home, but you’ll always have food on the table and a cover over your head”. I then replied, what kind of cover, a “tent”? (k, I was already getting mad at her so I’m sure I could have said that in a nicer way… but I was mad) She says, “I wouldn’t mind if I had to live in a tent if it means keeping Jah first”… YIKES!!! I’m SICK of it already!!!!!

    I’ve told her over and over that I didn’t want to talk about my divorce OR religion, her words “I have to say what’s on my mind.”

    These are the times I think about just going ahead and disassociating myself so I won’t get these stupid calls. I don’t get much of her support anyway. And when I do get her “support” it’s because she feels she can “preach” to me during that time.

    I love my parents, but I’m wondering if it’s time to cut all ties. For half of the time, we don’t get into a discussion. Most of the time it’s because I can ignore her little cramming in a bit of preaching now and again. Just this time, she hit a raw nerve telling me that my “situation” was all my fault because I wasn’t serving Jah.

    Oh well, I’m off to a movie to forget about this crap. Just had to rant a bit.


  • jeanniebeanz

    I feel for you, Froggie-Chicky. Eventually, I had to choose between my sanity and my 'family'... I chose peace and handed them their walking papers.

    Have a nice evening. What movie are you going to see?


  • daniel-p


    I know how you feel. It's hard when your family doesn't even encourage your studies or career choice, or congratulate you on your good grades. I am in college presently, after pioneering and being at Bethel and then getting my ass kicked in the world because I had no marketable skills whatsoever. And now I've been looked down upon for going back to school. No matter how hard you try, you cannot control how others will view you. You just have to stick to your goals and do what you know is right. Sometimes I even feel like DA will be a better option than fading because my relationships with my family are hardly unconditional in the first place. Every phone call or email is always harping on what I can do to make them feel reassured I love Jehovah.

    Anyway, just wanted to let you know I'm with you... hang in there.


  • FreedomFrog
    What movie are you going to see?

    Not sure yet, just gonna go drive up there and see what's playing. Dave has the kids for another 3 hours, so that's enough time for a movie.

  • KW13

    its not too kind to do it on a day, when you are celebrating and should be allowed to. sorry to hear that, if its any consolation - my mum is just as frustrating 100% of the time lol.

  • Scully

    When I went back to school, I heard all the same BS from JWs we knew. My parents knew better than to interfere though.

    I had one Sister™ laugh in my face when she heard my plans to go back to college: "Why would you waste the next three years in college, when Armageddon™ is Right Around The Corner™??" That was 12 years ago and although those student loans are a pain in the butt, I'm so grateful that I didn't let that kind of stupid remark deter me.

    My comeback to her, btw, was along the lines of "Well, if my husband were to drop dead tomorrow, would the congregation provide for me and my kids?? I didn't think so. I don't want to be a burden on you or the congregation financially. I am responsible for providing for my children - that's what the Bible says, and I'm not supposed to rely on the Organization™ to put food on my table or shoes on the kids' feet, right? This really is none of your concern. There's nothing in the Bible that says I can't get a good job to provide for my family." Life is good when you can look at your pay stub and realize that you're earning a really decent wage, providing for yourself and your family, looking after your future and showing your kids that they do have all kinds of options open to them. Nurses make awesome money, FF, and if you can land a permanent part-time job (which is what I do) and pick up a couple of OT shifts a month, eventually you will be laughing all the way to the bank.

    I wouldn't recommend DAing at this point, but if my mom was ragging on me like that, I'd put some distance between us in a hurry. It sounds like she needs to be reminded that you are an adult and responsible for your life, and she can keep her opinions to herself if she wants to see you and the kids. Do you have Call Display? An answering machine? Use them!! Screen your calls. Don't pick up if she calls, let the answering machine take a message for you, and if she's pleasant you can call her back when you feel ready for whatever confrontation she might be planning to throw at you.

  • aSphereisnotaCircle
    She tells me, “Gina, if you would just come back to Jah, then ALL of your needs will be met.

    So she is saying that everyone in the Org have all their needs met?

    What planet is she on.

  • LovesDubs

    When someone says to me "well I have to say whats on my mind" my reply is...not to me you dont.

  • uwishufish

    Glad to hear your grades are tops. This kind of thing makes one feel good about oneself. Keep up the good work.


  • candidlynuts

    now more than ever you should be encouraged to do positive things.. you NEED that to get thru a divorce in a healthy way.i'm sorry your mom cant encourage you or be proud of you. we're proud of you!! and i'm glad your grades are doing well.

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