Need Your Opinions.. To have dinner with inquiring minds or not??

by Lady Liberty 38 Replies latest jw friends

  • tall penguin
    tall penguin

    Sounds fishy to me. Trust your gut on this one.
    tall penguin

  • Joe Grundy
    Joe Grundy


    I'm not and never have been, etc.

    My opinion? Don't go! You won't enjoy dinner anyway with all this at the back of your mind.

    And - this is only what I've picked up from JWD - people will believe whatever they want to (fuelled, as ever, by gossip) so there doesn't seem much to gain.

  • garybuss

    You wrote: "should we meet for dinner tonight??"Who's buying?
    If I like people I always accept their invitations. I always accept or decline for myself and make the date, then I ask my wife if she wants to go. We're not joined at the hip and we don't just do couples.
    I've never had a Witness acquaintance call me and offer to buy my dinner since I quit unpaid political literature distribution for the Watch Tower Society. I did have one elder squeal his tires on his old Lincoln trying to get away from me. I had another elder actually run away from me in the shopping mall. I found both episodes extremely entertaining.

  • bikerchic

    You could get to the bottom of it real easy by inviting them to have this dinner at your house. You know they would never go into the home of a suspected Apostate. That would be an immediate cut to the chase answer.

    I do think it's a set up and if you decide to go be prepared to either out yourselves or keep quiet which ever you want to do.

    Good luck and let us know what happens.

  • Sunspot

    Actually, I feel that by turning down the invitation it would seem as if you had something to hide, etc. I vote for showing up----but being cautious about the dinner conversation. If it is obvious that it is an inquisition rather than merely "sharing a meal with friends"---I'd call a halt to it, say why, and make an exit, LOL!

    Keep us posted on the developments!



  • fullofdoubtnow

    Hi Lady L,

    As a friend of mine recently found out, the jws will stop at nothing to get the information they are looking for. They are amongst the most devious people I have ever had the displeasure of knowing.

    If it were me, I would not have dinner with these people.

    If you do go ahead and meet them, be very careful what you say.


  • Forscher

    Considering we are talking about at least two potential witnesses here, i'd say
    Set Up!!!
    Now that we've said that, I agree with folks that this smells like a set up and you don't want anything to do with it. Remember that if two or more folks are there, then whatever they say you said, you said, as far as any committee will be concerned. Politely decline the invitation and wait for the committee which is probably headed your way anyway. it is looking like you were prominent enough that they can't let you fade quietly into the fog.

  • KW13

    i think if you do go, that you should act dumb regarding any apostate issues - don't discuss anything apart from in your own defence, saying the rumours aren't true, be nice and make it an evening of showing your very much a normal and otherwise happy person.

  • Gregor

    In your situation, I wouldn't miss it for the world. How often in your life will you get to set down to a poker game where the other players always have to make the first bet and you already knew what cards they're holding? I would go over a few basic rules of strategy with my partner. (My strategy is based on the assumption that you are not ready to be DF'd or to DA.)

    Here's how I would handle it:

    Your are guest in their home. They will greet you warmly. Whether you feel phony or not, return the warmth. Meet it measure for measure. Small talk will come up. Be ready to bring it up yourself if need be. Stay away from subjects like crime, world crises, etc. that are so easy for them to segue into their spiel. Keep it light. vacations, food, funny stories, home projects etc. I know this only prolongs the inevitable but at least you make them work for it. When you start getting the loaded questions or declaretive statements that call for your input I would be like smoke. "The District Assembly sure brought it home to just how close we are to the end, didn't it ", you say, "Boy, it sure did, these are the best mashed potatoes I've ever eaten!" You get the picture. Dodge ball. NOW, let's imagine you have out-danced them all evening and frustrated Brother Clever decides to lay his cards on the table with direct questions. You look them right in the eye and say "Did you have us over for this? Is this an investigation? If so, shouldn't we be having this conversation with another elder and not dear Sister Clever here? Thanks for a wondeful dinner, we've got to be going now"

  • Lady Liberty
    Lady Liberty

    Well, here it is already almost 1:00pm. Still undecided. Hoping that today will pass and I won't have to address them. I was thinking that if we did go and they started their inquirey, then we could simply say: I don't think the elders would want us to be discussing our findings. That would shut them up I would think. I have such mixed feelings, but I know you guys are right about one thing: This is a planned set-up! I will let you know what we decide.

    Thanks to all of you again!


    Lady Liberty

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