message from God

by why144000 32 Replies latest social humour

  • SirNose586
    SirNose586

    I have a question for you, God. Do you give George Bush commands? I want to know because he says he talks to you all the time, but I can't think of anything beneficial he's done for people not as rich as him.

  • why144000
    why144000

    Hello Arthur, I could give you the long technical answer about having the option of making you either male or female in the womb however the real reason was that I was bored and it was a pratical joke that got out of hand. My son still gives me grief about it!

  • JWdaughter
    JWdaughter

    Whats up with the consequences of childbirth? Isn't having to be pregnant and give birth ENOUGH?? We have to get stretch marks and saggy breasts too? My husband stops drinking beer for 3 weeks and he has his boyish figure back. Cut us girls a break!!

  • Twitch
    Twitch

    Dear God

    What's up wit u? Why do u let thousands of children die every day? Why u sit back and let atrocities happen? Why did you talk to men of old yet ignore us "modern" types? If you're the one true God, why are the others more appealing? Do you enjoy the things done in your name? What of the pain caused in your name and for the sake of greed in men? And you just stand by and let it happen? Your will?

    Your will is whacked in my opinion.

    But then again, me saying this is your will. Let your will be done.

  • why144000
    why144000

    I would support the worst sports team in the universe (you people think you were my only experiment?) before I listen to the ramblings of politicians. Check out my opening salvo (thank me for the salvos) against people who do things in my name. As for the after effects of childbirth be thankful I did not give you a prostate! That would have been cruel!

  • KennyC
    KennyC

    "Please, stop going around giving me a bad name by blowing each other up or invading counties and saying you are doing my will."

    Yep. Here in the south these d#$@ local guvments is goin' to pot too! Too many them ther' Yankee's with pipe bombs, I reckon!

    Wimmin here in our county so skeered they won't even use the female matin' call , "I'm drunk," (most effecktive with her head hangin' out the truck winder and her butt out t'uther.) Looks like they right about them terrists after awl. Hell, ewe kaint even holler out to git a date no more.

  • katiekitten
    katiekitten

    Dear Sir / Madam / God

    RE: RELIGION

    I am writing regarding the last 30 years I spent devoted to a religion that I now no longe think is the right one.

    Please could you give me a clue as to which one gets your celestial thumbs up? I dont want to join, im just curious to know whose gonna win the top prize. Also is there a consolation prize for the ones who nearly had it right? Maybe a long life in an average climate, compared to everlasting life in paradise.

    Yours sincerely

    Katie Kitten

    P.S. god, im sorry I did the hokey pokey after my marriage split up, but I figured you could only kill me once, and all the other times after that first time were freebies, so to speak.

  • jayhawk1
    jayhawk1

    G. Hova, is sure is nice hearing from you again. Tell your wife Asherah I miss our fireside chats. Sacraficing small animals just isn't as fun without her.

  • jeanniebeanz
    jeanniebeanz
    P.S. god, im sorry I did the hokey pokey after my marriage split up, but I figured you could only kill me once, and all the other times after that first time were freebies, so to speak.

    God-Dude... She's got a point 'man'. I'm wondering though, I mean just in case you have that point covered too... You aren't, like, planning to bring us back and 'kak' us over and over for each.. um.. roll in the hay, are you?

    J

  • jason bourne
    jason bourne

    Dear God (somewhere in australia),

    Please will you forgive me for spending countless hours and weeks and years and decades going door to door teaching the watchtower?

    I beg of thee....I bespeech thee.....do comfort my ailing heart!

    love jason

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