Separated and dating a JW

by goldenshell 50 Replies latest social relationships

  • goldenshell
    Baptized/still baptized/getting baptized

    Unfortunately he Actively attends meetings 3 times a week

    Going out in field service :i dont really know what that means but 4 the whole month of July he had appointments with people interested to read the Scriptures and he told me that he forgot about it so we had to delay meeting to another ''unknown''time .

    Raising his hand during the watch tower study <-----dont know about that ,can you tell me what is it?

    Giving sermons/talks/ministry school assignments <-------he mentioned that they teach how to talk and give sermons


    txs 4 the advices !

    men are not the only interest in my life by the way .I dont know why you assumed so. And by the way this is a forum where people exchange opinions .I dont agree when u say why bother investigating Jw any further .Why bother writing or answering then ?I want to know with who am i dealing with (BF)i want to understand what i cannot , and this will benefit not just me but my son too when he will ever deal with someone from JW faith so for me to talk to you and to know as much as i can is not a waiste of time .I definitely know more now so i can find out if is gonna lie or not .


  • goldenshell

    is there a chance to close the forum for this subject or u still consider it open?txs

  • jgnat

    Goldenshell, there is no official method of closing off a thread. They get old and get forgotten naturally. I see you had responded to my comments some time ago. I had not noticed, sorry. I also apologize if you took offence.

    I hadn't assumed that men are your only interest, but you did outline two disasters in a row. When that happens, I suggest the woman take a break from all men for a while. To get perspective.

    The reason I suggest not bothering with the Witnesses any longer is, I do think your new boyfriend has given lots of evidence that his affection has cooled. He's given you the brush-off. To spend more time trying to figure out his weird religion, or to find a way to bypass it and re-win his heart, can only lead to more heartbreak for you. In my opinion.

    this will benefit not just me but my son too when he will ever deal with someone from JW faith

    If you want some general advice how to avoid cultists, pyramid schemes, extremists, and con artists, Steve Hassan's "Combatting Cult Mind Control" is excellent. Why learn about each weird religion at a time? They ALL find ways to exclude threats (you). They ALL coerce their members in to staying, even if they are deeply unhappy. Also good reading for you and your son is information on critical thinking.

  • LovesDubs

    Just my take on this thread, it sounds like the JW "boyfriend" and I use the term loosely, befriended this poor gal in a time when she was vulnerable, being there for her, showing interest in her...then he moved in on her vulnerability and went as far as he could sexually with her without penetration. Sounds VERY familir to me. The JW man I first was approached by who had been a JW his whole life did the same thing to me at a very vulnerable time in my life as well. We did everything BUT "it". And he said he couldnt do "it" because it was "against his religion". Well was EVERYTHING ELSE we had done! ALL of it! And now girlfriend has dumped her husband thinking JW friend will be the replacement because he sure SEEMED interested in taking the husband's place...and he freaked out when she dumped the husband and wanted to latch onto HIM. He didnt sign on for that and so he is trying to dump her by making every excuse in the book. And they are ALL lame ones.

    He is not going to leave the JWs. Not ever. And if he victimized this gal he is probably doing it to other women because HE knows THEY dont know what the JWS SEXUAL RULES ARE and wont "tell on him"!! He wouldnt dare pull this stuff with a JW woman..she'd narc him out!

    As for getting a vasectomy, does this guy know that getting a vasectomy will prevent him from becoming a ministerial servant and progressing in the JW organization? I bet he doesnt. But CLUE girlfriend...if he doesnt want to have kids how do you think he would treat your existing child?

    Run baby will find somebody else. Give it TIME. Dont take this rebound guy who doesnt want to love you or take care of you and your child. Move on sweetie.


  • goldenshell

    Hi Jgnat,sorry for the misunderstanding ...i planned already to buy Steve Hassan book txs a lot

    Loves Dubs:txs to confirm to me what i already thought .I just want to ask you where can i find an evidence that he wont become a ministerial servant and wont progress in the organization doing the vasectomy???is that written somewhere?


  • goldenshell

    Something came up in my mind yesterday :if the JW follow literally what is in the Bible why they are not circumcized?


  • sass_my_frass

    RUN. You're bright, intuitive, funny and interesting. Run away from this loser of a man.

  • jgnat

    WHY oh WHY are you interested in all the JW weirdness? It seems to me you are still obsessed with this man, still trying to find a way in to his world. Or do you think you can embarrass him out of the religion? Do you seriously think he will want you if you do that?

    If you MUST know more about his religion, show up at his Kingdom Hall on a Sunday morning, sit through the service, and ask one of the nice sisters to start a study with you. Mention as an aside that you've been seeing this man, and him being a JW, you are naturally interested in his religion. Ask the circumcison question.

    All Christians put a doctrinal dividing line between the old testament and the new testament, based on Jesus' sacrifice. The coming of the Messiah put away many of the old laws, according to Paul, including the requirement to be circumcised. Now WHERE the dividing line should be drawn differs between churches. The Seventh Day Adventists, for instance, honor the Sabbath. JW's do not. All other Christians are fine with blood transfusions, JW's are not. Nobody sacrifices sheep and goats any more.

    Walk away. Find yourself, then find a man who can make you happy.

  • goldenshell

    more then obsessed am stubborn and anyway is back from his holidays so i asked him to meet asap to talk properly and clarify thingsmaybe is gonna be the end of this ''friendshionship''more than relationship not interested to go on Sunday and comment the Scriptures either thats not what i am looking 4 but i will definitely ask him what exactly is doing or what he thinks is doing with me ...i will throw in his face what i think that really happened from the beginning ,also that i think he will do the same with someone else but i will let him talk 1st .You might ask yourself why does she bother ?because i dont want to have that thoughts only in my head and also because i think that he should know (he cares or not doesnt matter ) i want to be in peace with myself ...and i will let you know the outcome ....


  • goldenshell

    ok guys these are the news:

    i told him that i read an article on internet about ex JW and red many things that made me think a lot and i started to have many doubts :he told me that ex JW that wrote an article are very vendicative cause if they are not anymore JW is because they made mistakes and they are very negative people .I asked about circumcision and about how the wife should be in JW (if she has to be submissive or not)he told me that he will tell me when he will see me coz too long to explain but he answered for the circumcision straight .He will bring his Bible one and the official one to choose random pages to prove they are same ..cause i told him that i have the feeling they use the WT publications to explain what is in the Bible and obviously is in their own way :he is talking as if nothing happened as if he bahaved good and last time i saw him is 2 months ago !! i used to get txt or a call in the weekend ...last time i heard is voice was 4 weeks ago ...he told me that he will come this friday who knows if he wont change @the last minute ?I feel stronger anyway and also that this friday is gonna be the last one :we might stay friend cause all that is ridiculous ...Txs to everybody

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