by Dansk 26 Replies latest social relationships
Yes Ian you are so right, this is a great place to be, so liberating.
I wouldn't have dared even admit to have thought about a topic like this one when I was a jw, so prim and proper and destined to be single forever. I'd have been inhibited even when I first left the wts, still had the jw mindset if not the beliefs.
And now....I'm so naughty, and loving it.
Linda
There , there Ian don't be getting yourself all excited thinking about those bunnies .
HHmm, does that mean I don't think I'm in a secure relationship?
Hubby and I kinda go through different levels of shall we say "need". I just wish we could go through these spells at the same time!!! His job is harder and more tiring to do in the summer, so he's pretty much interested in getting all the sleep he can, where as I'm off and well, sleep is not my number one priority right now!! (If you catch my meaning.) It's the opposite in the winter. My job is very demanding in the winter and his is easier. Oh well, some things you have to learn to live with!
BB
No! That is not the reason! The reason is KIDS! You know those bloody pains in the arse that you have.
There we were on holiday, 'getting started' in our bedroom, kids all asleep....we thought.
Suddenly CRASH!! My fourteen year old son comes falling into our bedroom and is flat out on the floor. What a passion killer. He had come to see us to complain about his twin brother's radio! He then crashed out of the bedroom tripping over a step, smashing a lamp and stubbing his painful ingrowing toenail!
Now that is the reason why any one would give up!
Thank God we have two locks on our bedroom door! We have two, because our youngest likes to run off with the key and hide it!
Fine and dandy brothers and sisters. But what if your hubby has lost that lovin feelin because he can't get it up any longer even w/the help of the little blue pill? Just turns his emotions off towards you and "makes love to the TV"?? What is happening on TV is more important than what I have to talk about.
Now what???? Serious answers only; but there can be some humor thrown in to relieve my stress about this.
Juni
I just took a shower and hubby gave me the eye but I got to see about the kids and clean the house
Hi juni
I'm not sure how to help you with your problem, it's not one I've experienced yet. Trev doesn't watch tv that much anyway, but I have a feeling if he ever put that before my needs, it might suddenly get broken, probably beyond repair. Maybe your tv could meet with a slight accident sometime...
Linda
Thanks Linda! You are such a sweetheart! If I did that he would have a coronary (heart attack). Yes it's a huge problem. The love is cooling down rather quickly.
I'm happy for you that you found your soulmate.
Love,
Juni
Oh Juni, that is a difficult situation.
I take it he's been thouroughly checked out by a Dr/Urologist? There are certain medications that can cause that problem, one that comes to mind are blood pressure meds.
That is a very difficult problem for a man to have, and rather that deal with it, they shut down, and shut you out. If all the medical things check out, there may be some underlying psycological things he needs to deal with through therapy.
I hope things start looking "up" for you soon!!!
BB
(((((((((Juni))))))))))
But what if your hubby has lost that lovin feelin because he can't get it up any longer even w/the help of the little blue pill? Just turns his emotions off towards you and "makes love to the TV"?? What is happening on TV is more important than what I have to talk about.
It's extremely difficult for me - and most likely most other men here, too - to fully understand your husband's situation because I'm not in his position. You mentioned that even with "the little blue pill" he can't manage so perhaps it's some kind of early male menopause brought on through some hormone deficiency (??). In other words, and if that is the case, he can't really help feeling as he does. In such circumstances, at least you know it isn't that you're unattractive or undesirable but at the mercy of a medical condition. I assume he's sought medical advice?
I really, really do feel for you because, as you know, I had lots of chemotherapy and, believe me, one's libido takes a backward dive. Fortunately, Claire has been wonderfully understanding and very sensitive - helping me get through it and becoming functional again.
I guess if one's drive isn't there anymore it just isn't there!
I know a couple who have 6 children and I was surprised to learn that they don't sleep together anymore. Each has a separate bedroom in the house and, the husband told me, they stopped having sex in their early 50s! I was in my forties at the time, and I'm 52 now, and here's this couple who haven't fallen out of love, they just lost their libido!
I don't know if this has helped or not, but if you haven't done so already please seek counselling. While sex obviously isn't everything, your husband may have a condition that can be rectified. I certainly hope so for both of you because I'm sure your husband is as frustrated as you are deep down!
Love,
Ian
