So THAT's the reason!

by Dansk 26 Replies latest social relationships

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    And I thought it was just me!

    Security 'bad news for sex drive'
    Couple kissing Differences in sexual appetite may be driven by evolution
    A woman's sex drive begins to plummet once she is in a secure relationship, according to research.

    Researchers from Germany found that four years into a relationship, less than half of 30-year-old women wanted regular sex.

    Conversely, the team found a man's libido remained the same regardless of how long he had been in a relationship.

    Writing in the journal Human Nature, the scientists said the differences resulted from how humans had evolved.

    altaltFor men, a good reason their sexual motivation to remain constant would be to guard against being cuckolded by another male alt Dr Dietrich Klusmann

    The researchers from Hamburg-Eppendorf University interviewed 530 men and women about their relationships.

    They found 60% of 30-year-old women wanted sex "often" at the beginning of a relationship, but within four years of the relationship this figure fell to under 50%, and after 20 years it dropped to about 20%.

    In contrast, they found the proportion of men wanting regular sex remained at between 60-80%, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship.

    Tenderness

    The study also revealed tenderness was important for women in a relationship.

    About 90% of women wanted tenderness, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship, but only 25% of men who had been in a relationship for 10 years said they were still seeking tenderness from their partner.

    Dr Dietrich Klusmann, lead author of the study and a psychologist from Hamburg-Eppendorf University, believed the differences were down to human evolution.

    He said: "For men, a good reason their sexual motivation to remain constant would be to guard against being cuckolded by another male."

    But women, he said, have evolved to have a high sex drive when they are initially in a relationship in order to form a "pair bond" with their partner.

    But, once this bond is sealed a woman's sexual appetite declines, he added.

    He said animal behaviour studies suggest this could be because females may be diverting their sexual interest towards other men, in order to secure the best combinations of genetic material for their offspring.

    Or, he said, this could be because limiting sex may boost their partner's interest in it.

    Professor George Fieldman, an evolutionary psychologist from Buckinghamshire Chilterns University College, said: "These findings seem to fit in with anecdotal studies and his explanations seem plausible.

    "The rational for why a woman's sex drive declines may be down to supply and demand. If something is in infinite supply, the perceived value would drop."

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Well my husband will be so relieved that it's not just him either !!! I don't know for sure, but I personally feel a woman's sex drive gets a jump start after the kids are raised and gone . Lately I 'm wearing the old man out !

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow
    The rational for why a woman's sex drive declines may be down to supply and demand. If something is in infinite supply, the perceived value would drop."

    Well, I didn't have a "supply" for the whole time I was a jw, so I must be making up for lost time at the moment. Perhaps I'll slow down in a few years. I 'd best not let Trev see this post!

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    LOL @ troubled Mind and Fullofdoubtnow! You ladies are wicked!!

    Lately I 'm wearing the old man out !

    Right, that does it, I'm getting rid of all the kids!

    Ian

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    I'm telling you Dansk you better build up your stamina before shipping the kiddies off . Better join the gym and up the vitamins .

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow
    I'm telling you Dansk you better build up your stamina before shipping the kiddies off . Better join the gym and up the vitamins

    Thanks troubled mind, I think I'll treat Trev to gym membership to help keep his stamina up. I don't want him wilting on me.

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    Glad I could be of help fullofdoubtnow . Us sista's need to stick together . It's a very good thing !

  • mrsjones5
    mrsjones5
    They found 60% of 30-year-old women wanted sex "often" at the beginning of a relationship, but within four years of the relationship this figure fell to under 50%, and after 20 years it dropped to about 20%.

    In contrast, they found the proportion of men wanting regular sex remained at between 60-80%, regardless of how long they had been in a relationship.

    Yep that sounds like me and the hubby. I've got 4 kids 12, 8, 5, and 2 - they keep me running all day and sometimes I just don't have enough energy for the hubby. I do enjoy the chase but I don't want to be caught. When we first got married we were like rabbits in heat, I miss those days sometimes...

    Josie

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow
    I've got 4 kids 12, 8, 5, and 2 - they keep me running all day and sometimes I just don't have enough energy for the hubby.

    Well, we're not married yet, but we will be tying the knot next year. We won't be having kids, so that won't wear me out. We have a dog, but he's no trouble.

    When we first got married we were like rabbits in heat.

    This marriage thing gets more appealing every day....

  • Dansk
    Dansk

    Got belly ache laughing at Josie - and the rest of you ladies!

    I do enjoy the chase but I don't want to be caught.

    So, you don't get a head-ache, then?

    When we first got married we were like rabbits in heat, I miss those days sometimes...

    You're not the only bloody one!!

    You know, this place is so therapeutic

    Ian

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