my story

by jaberwalkie 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • juni

    Hi again jabberwalkie.

    I agree w/Perry and Kate. I was at the point of suicide and sought help w/professionals. Don't minimize your emotional state. You already are not feeling good which is depressing in itself. Then add to that the inhumane treatment from family and the elders who are definitely in the dark when it comes to emotional and physical problems.

    We all hope to read more postings by you and get to know you better. Also, every individual here at the Forum has something unique to offer. Take care of yourself.


  • hopie


    You have come to the right place for understanding !! We all have been touched or treated in the same fashion as you...(one way or another). If the Governing Body was truly God's spirit annointed, none of us would be treated this way. God's love is unconditional .

    I will send you some personal messages and check on how you are doing.


  • LisaRose

    **BIG HUG**. You poor thing, why would you go crawling back to those who judged and ignored you? Beg forgiveness because you were depressed?? I don't think so. My last years were pretty bad too. I was mostly ignored. Disfellowshipped hubby, worked full time, suicidal child, health problems (Fribromyalgia) and sporadic meeting attendance. Every one always acted surprised I hadn't given up yet. The guilt was constant and I was very, very lonely. Seek out a support group of loving, non judgemental people who can help you heal emotionally. I've been out 6 years and would NEVER go back. ICK. I've never been happier in my life.

  • moshe

    Welcome! and I hope you can get the best medical care available, not constrained by unscientific JW rules. You can gain a new circle of loyal friends and believe me, In 10 years it will be hard to remember the names of everyone at the KH.



  • serendipity

    Welcome jaberwalkie!

    I hope you can find a circle of friends and support for your condition.

  • formyboys

    WELCOME!!! It seems that a vast majority of people here have experienced a decided "Lack of Love" from their congregations and/or elders. You'll find that this forum is chalk full of empathy and compassion. Hopefully you have family that will stick by you. But don't be afraid to seek professional mental health help. They can quite often put you back on track.

  • katiekitten

    Welcome Jaberwalkie.

    I really feel for you. You have been done a terrible injustice. My mum has M.E. and she has spent years just trying to find the right doctor to understand and treat it.

    Its a lousy rotten illness and its still not well understood by mainstream doctors. You dont stand a chance with elders.

    Would you like me to get some info off my mum for you? Shes been treating her illness with some alternative therapies and I have seen an improvement in her condition recently. I confess I dont know much about it myself, but mums done lots of research and reading.

    Mum too has been suecidal over it, because M.E. completely robs you of any quality of life.

  • cyberguy

    Sorry to hear of your problems, jaberwalkie. How’s your health now? Are you on medication? Also, for what reason were you disfellowshiped? (If you care to answer—no pressure here if you do not.) Of course, for missing meetings, elders visited me and told me if I needed to confess serious sins (implying of course that I did), they were available to listen to my confession! This ridiculous, since it is simply a tactic to impute guilt to get someone so disturbed that the return to attending meetings.

    Anyway, if you need continued medical help, please seek it out. And work on making friends, which may not be easy. This has been hard for me, but I’m making an effort. Please keep your chin up! The WT has messed with my brain for so long, that at times I simply don’t know how a “normal” person should act. But as time passes, I’m finding it does get easier! Yes, there is life and more happiness outside the JW-system!

    Take care, God bless, peace!



  • jwcol

    Being suicidal or attempting it is not a DF offense anymore I believe. I went through it a year ago before my divorce and they wanted me to give a talk the next week because it was scheduled! There was an article about supporting those going through it, but I doubt any of them read it.

    All these articles come out on depression and suicide and different things like that, to help the elders shepherd the flock, but I've never heard of them pulling out any of those articles. It's usually just a quest to find out what rules you broke. Again, I'm shocked that this is so incredibly common.

    When I was disfellowshipped they said "Well, there's no doubt you are repentant and you have changed your course and you have been through a lot. However, you can't ever be TRULY repentant unless you've been disfellowshipped, so that's our decision."

  • done4good

    Welcome Jaberwalkie!

    Stick around here, you will begin to heal. Also I agree with Perry, and some of the other posters above, don't minimize the importance of getting professional help. Many people associated with jws either at present or formerly DO need this.


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