my story

by jaberwalkie 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • jaberwalkie

    This is a difficult thing for me to do, i used to be a Jehovahs witness 20 years service as a pioneer.

    Last Thursday it was announced from the platform at my local kingdom hall that i was disfellowshiped.

    It was a bit of a shock. I still have a deep sence of anger at what happened to me and its so unfair.

    It started 3 years ago when i began to feel ill and i missed a couple of meetings. The Elders were wonderful and came round and cheered me up. My dear friend and pioneer partner came up and kept me company.

    Then for some reason the elders stopped calling and my friend told me that a roumer had started that i was faking my illness, I was shocked and i was on the phone to the elders. The elders told me that there was nothing they could do and i had to pull myself together. I began to feel isolated and i took an overdose of sleping pills.

    The elders told me that i had sinned against God and i had to ask for forgiveness. I was mortified. These people had abandoned me for roumers and untruths. Anyway, i was diagnosed with having ME. I did not go to a single meeting for over a year, DId no field service and handed in no reports. The elders told me that i had to repent or i would be disfellowshiped? I felt that i had done nothing wrong. ANyway today as i went to the doctors, i saw my friend and she just ignored me. I knew this person for over 10 years and i felt alone for the first time. All i could do was sstand a cry.

    Have i done something wrong? Should i go back and seek repentance? I just dont know.

    Forgive me if i have went on for a bit, but i feel so alone and let down, i had no were else to turn to.

  • Merry Magdalene
    Merry Magdalene

    I am so sorry those close to you turned away when you needed them most They should come crawling to you in tear-stained repentence for having put you through this on top of what you were already going through. It's not your fault!

    Welcome to JWD {{{{{jaberwalkie}}}}} <---hugs


  • jaberwalkie

    Forgive my spelling. My spell checker aint working.

    Sorry. Jaberwalkie

  • jaberwalkie


    I just feels so isolated and angry.

    I am from the UK by the way

  • avengers


    Stick around here and you will find people who care.
    When I left in 1999 I fell into a big hole.
    Nobody was there. I felt totally isolated.
    Then in 2001 I found this forum which helped me a lot.
    I personally would never go back.
    I did nothing wrong and yet they shun me.
    Things will get better for you.


  • Merry Magdalene
    Merry Magdalene

    I'm glad to meet you but sorry for the circumstances

    I didn't notice your spelling.

    I've noticed that congregations, especially elders, seem to have a tendency to drive hurt sheep away rather than enfolding them with love, as if the hurt ones have suddenly, secretly turned into wolves or something. I don't get it.

    But you are welcome here to sort through all your feelings and bounce from thought to thought as you continue processing what has happened to you and why and where you go from here.


  • barry

    Gday Jabbawalkie, It beats me how they can get away with that rubbish, maybe they are on a power trip but stick around many people have similar stories and can empathise with you.

  • chuckie77

    Seriously, you wouldnt treat an animal that badly, let alone another human being. When times get tough for you, jump on here and say hello, there always seems to be someone around that will do their best to help out people in your situation. What country are you in?

    In terms of going back... Think about it this way, would you be going back for the reasons of wanting to be in the organisation, or just to get your so-called friends back? There are great and amazing people outside the organisation and they will stick by you through everything, unlike those who only associate with you under certain conditions.

    Good luck and hope things work out ok for you.

  • Cellist

    Welcome to the board. No, you did nothing wrong and have no need to seek forgiveness. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through a hard time. (((((Hugs)))))

    Don't worry about your spelling.


  • candidlynuts

    they should be showing repentance and asking forgiveness from you!

    welcome to the board.

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