((((Annie))))
Wow, what a crazy series of events! I'm so glad you made it through (squeaked by!) and are posting here again. You know you are a die-hard JWD poster when you go thru tough surgeries and guage your progress by how soon you can come back here to post...
I guess the "nightmare" thing would be a matter of perspective. A lot of people are very anxious and tense about surgery, and to be aware of unexpected trouble happening of any sort (esp if it includes a lot of blood) can trigger nightmares in many people later, though not all. It's one thing to watch a tv show of an emergency--it's another to be on the receiving end!! I am glad they played it safe by keeping you unconcious thru the rough spots. (I know I'd appreciate it if were me, anyway.)
So good to know that evil little cancer cluster was caught. I hope that all the things the docs have done for you will result in a longer and more comfortable life. And it isn't silly to wax philosophical about being given more time. When you see how precious life is, it's the natural question to arise. I'd suggest that in perhaps you are being given a new ability to more deeply appreciate life and your relationships, and to love more earnestly (among other things).
So glad to see you back!!
bebu