How Jehovah's Witnesses are told to treat disfellowshipped Relatives.

by jwfacts 35 Replies latest watchtower beliefs

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  MidwichCuckoo

  garybuss -you're wonderful
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  lilybird

  My husbands parents were counselled many times to stop associating with us but they refused . They said that they would never shun famlily. My fatheri-n -law passed away 3 years ago.. They were expert fence sitters.. He was an elder yet had many "worldly friends" that he associated with and they pretty much did what they wanted except for celebrating Christmas and other " pagen" holidays.. They contrbuted a lot of money to the congreagation..so we believe they "bought" themselves the right to do what they wanted without being questioned.
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  LDH

  Shockingly, a relative can be disfellowshipped for associating with a disfellowshipped person!

  I was. Because my sister and I were living together. She DA'd and I did not move out.
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  wednesday

  
  
  JWfacts,

  I have wondered about that too, whether Jehovah's spirit would guide the elders to "keep the org clean' by exposing people. I used to think this was true, but realized that in many case it was people's own conscience that forced them to come forward to confess to the elders. I have known cases where it appeared this did happen however. I have also been told that perhaps the reason jehovah is not exposing someone is b/c they pose no threat to the congregation, ie, not active, no friends among jws, so no reason for the holy spirit to rat them out. (mind you this is jws think) I think the biggest reason the " holy spirit" exposes people is they are not a part of their group of friends. By this I mean, you get exposed b/c you have made someone mad and don't have a buddy covering your behind. If you are hooked up, you can get away with most anything for a longtime.

  recently I told a sis I was not attending b/c i was not wanted. ( that is what I have been saying, it is just one of the reasons i do not attend however) she said i was to go anyway. I ask her if she would go somewhere she was not wanted and she said, it would be difficult, but she would find a cong to attend somewhere.

  fluer, that is some hellhole you are living in. What a bunch of mean spirited people.

  We live in a very small religious community. religion governs everything. I was talking with someone recently about this and they told me "oh yes the christian witness protection program" . I said, What!! we laughed and sadly it is true, if you are not a active christian here, you are in trouble in the community, and professionally. I was checking out books written by xjws and apparently there is a book called somethig like that . I tried to buy it but it was out of stock at amazon. will try somewhere else.

  The subject of shunning may get more news coverage if it affects high profile people . Since Sciencetologly(sp) does this, ths may help bring this practice out in the open. It is done down here in the Bible Belt. There are a number of legalistic religions around here.

  And yes, to add, money menas a lot. if you have enough money, power, connections, you can avoid the holy spirit .
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  parakeet

  jwfacts:
  **I was told by my study conductor and also my mother that Jehovah always finds the wrongdoers, but he may allow up to 5 years to pass.***
  
  I faded almost 30 years ago, and if Jehovah has found out my "wrongdoing," he certainly hasn't bothered to tell the elders from my former cong about it. During that whole time I have not received a single visit, phone call, or letter from anyone in my cong outside of my immediate family. I've always been torn between feeling relieved they've left me alone and feeling angry that they obviously don't think I'm worth the trouble to try to bring back. Either way, the lack of love is overwhelming.
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  ronin1

  Hi:

  Do not be mistaken. The WTS is still telling its members to totally shun family members that are either not active, DA, of DF.

  We are planning a family reunion during the first week in August, 2006 for our 72 year old mother, who really wants the reunion with all her living children (8) and grandchildren, cousins, etc. (Our father passed away 9 years ago).

  However, because some of us are not active or DA, my three sisters -who are self-righteous JW's (there are 5 girls and 3 boys) are refusing to come to the family reunion-bacuase of those of us who are not active or DA. will be attending. So myself and my twin sister, and our three brothers are planning the events for the family reunion. Fortunately my aunt, uncle and other cousins are coming. They are not JW's.- although my aunt and uncle were raised in the JW organization.

  My mother is still an active witness, but she does not care if some of us are in or out of the organization. She just wants to see all of us while she is alive and healthy and able to enjoy our company and have a good time together. She doesn't want to dwell on the negative about the other siblings that are refusing to come or to say how hurt she really is. But when I spoke with her yesterday, I assured her that we are going to have fun together and if the others do not want to come, it's their loss. They may regret their decision later on and they may not.

  So, all-in-all, there will be about 25 of us (5 of us siblings and spouses, our children, grandchildren, aunt, uncle and cousins).And we plan to have a good time: in Charlotte, NC. ( My mom lives in Monroe, NC).

  Shopping, bowling party (we are a family of bowlers), and our family reunion dinner.

  This organization's ways and rules have hurt so many families- it is truly not from Jehovah God or Jesus Christ.

  Ronin1
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  ferret

  After 26 years still being shunned by three daughters. Both parents died shunning me. Sounds real Christlike to me.
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  jwfacts

  Ferret, that is so sad and just terrible, as are many of the other stories.

  I got close enough into the 'inner circle' to know that Holy Spirit does not reveal sins, it is either a bad conscience that leads to confession, or bad luck.

  One person I know of committed adultery 20 years ago and was never discovered. The only reason it came out was his own foolishness. 20 years later he wanted a divorce from his wife to marry another woman and thought he could get away with it on a technicality. He confessed to the elders, in order to say he had a scriptural reason, thinking that after so many years they would not disfellowship him. They disfellowshipped him anyway for hiding his sin.

  A story I have told before, but really highlights that Holy Spirit is not involved was a married elder at Aust Bethel in the 1990's. When he moved congregations they reappointed him as an elder. About a year later his lover got a guilty conscience and confessed to the elders that they had been having an affair for 7 years, including having sex in Bethel. Holy Spirit did not uncover it, nor did it prevent his re-appointment.

  In catching up with ex JWs I am learning that a number of young couples commit fornication prior to their wedding and never confess, including brothers in positions of authority. Some of these are never found out, and to this day some still have positions of authority.
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  geevee

  Question Re: Jwfacts: In catching up with ex JWs I am learning that a number of young couples commit fornication prior to their wedding and never confess, including brothers in positions of authority. Some of these are never found out, and to this day some still have positions of authority.
  Isn't there a loophole for position people? If their sin was unknown and a whaile ago, they could confess it and NOT lose status?
  BTW: We had a couple here, raised their family, 2 sons and a daughter. The daughter grew up, married but later was DF'ed. The Father, our PO for many years had a certain amount of contact with her and her new husband. The contact was questioned a few times, but he always controlled the situation, and after a while, it was left alone. One of his daughter-in-laws was not happy about it and either was her father a top gun elder but no authority as he lived elsewhere. When there was an opportunity to take him down for it, she had "evidence" she got cold, and left a couple of elders out in the cold.
  Jump forward a few years.
  The wife/mother dies. The daughter-in-laws father had moved here and was appointed and elder, as well as we had a big shot elder who was on the local RBC and thought nothing of cutting the guts out of other elders move in as well as the CO visiting. The question arose about the funeral and the attendance of the df daughter and the cup of tea ofter the service. The big shots all said that this would be "eating with her"!!!!!
  Dont worry that her mother has died....just any elder or ms that would be in attendance would NOT be attending the afternoon tea final!
  Then they even moved around the crowd at the funeral and reminded the whole servant body to stay away from the daughter and not attend the afternoon tea.
  Man it really sucked. Even though I was an elder at the time, you were absolutely caught by the balls. These guys patrolled all the time, it was absolutley sickening. Dont reach out to this poor woman, dont show her any concern.
  I couldn't be like that, so I made a bee line, shook her hand, told her that I was sorry for her loss, but couldn't give her a hug, who would be watching? Everyone!! She held my hand and you could tell she didn't want to let go. My wife also extended her sympathy.
  What did her husband think?
  What a huge slap ihn the face it was to the former PO, and what of his departed wife? It still makes me sick!
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  jwfacts

  It is terrible that even in a time of mourning a JW can not use their heart.

  I do not think there is any rule about preference to people in authority. It is just that those in authority know how to get around the rules in the best way possible, and of course their is nepotism to friends and family. After I read the Elders manual I learnt far better how to play the system.

  You will be judged on how many other people know of your sin and how repentant you appear. If you are a good actor you can get away with anything, especially if you are liked by the elders.