Post Confession in the Library:
Elder Johnson: OK, well that certainly is a shameful, awful thing you've been doing, Bro. Redface -- lookin' at them nekkid men & women doin' those nasty things.
Bro. Redface: Ah'm really, really contrite, ashamed and sorry my innocent Internet search for "ear muffs for my pussy cat" ...caused me to view pornography - accidentally.
Elder Johnson: You did the right thing by coming to us and confessing this terrible sin. Now, "we need a little info about you for our files".
How many times have you done this sin, accidentally ?
Bro. Redface: 13 times Bro. Johnson.
Elder Johnson: Good...good. 7 times viewing porno is 'practising' sin. But, 14 times...well, that's just plain "greedy & gross". See ?
Bro. Redface: Uh...no...?
Elder Johnson: Well, that's OK, Bro. we have a Secret Elders Manual that explains it all, well, to us Elders anyway. Trust us.
OK. Was there masturbation involved ? That you can recall, that is...? Uh, remember that # 14....?
Bro. Redface: Uh, I do seem to recall it was exactly 13 times. Yep.
Elder Johnson: And just how...ya' know...describe your technique.
Bro. Redface: W-what...?
Elder Johnson: Well, Bro. Deek Hed and I must be able to determine if you were being "greedy" toward your body members in the privacy of your own home. We've heard SO many different ways to "git 'er done", haven't we, Deek ?
Elder Hed: Oh, Hell yeah...! We've got some really innovative brothers & sisters in our Hall...
But, before we get to that...what kind of porn came up on that search ?
Bro. Redface: What...kind ? Uh, you know...nekkid people...doin' stuff. I dunno, brudders. Why ya' keep askin' me all these embarrassing questions ? After all, *I* came to you...
Elder Johnson: Aww...we're sorry. Hey look at the time, listen...just don't do it anymore and don't tell anybody, OK ? We will probably just let it go this time with a stern warning. Me & Bro. Hed still need to determine what "kind" of porn this is...do you you, ah, recall that URL that you used inappropriately 13 times ? Good, good... Write that down & give it to Bro. Hed. We will go check it out at his house right now.
Bro. Redface: Uh, thanks brothers for the, uh, scriptural help...
It could happen......probably has.
Rabbit