Did the elders ever blackmail you with dead loved ones?

by Fleshybirdfodder 33 Replies latest jw experiences

  • jeanniebeanz

    This is the exact stunt that my mother pulled on my grandmother to guilt her into joining up.



  • juni

    FBF, good evening.

    If you were to talk to any counselor about this, they would ensure you that this is total cult mind control.

    We had a CO who in his "wise" speech on his last day gave this admonition directed to the young people who had DF siblings:

    He first of all set the scene w/the "good" sibling setting the table for the rest of the family. Then he proceeded to say that if you young people don't live a clean life before Jehovah, but follow the path of your DF brother/sister then your place will not be set at the table in the future. How will the rest of the family feel when they look at your place and you are not there?

    I sat there w/my jaw dropped. I wasn't near to coming out yet and at that time I had such a terrible feeling in my stomach - how could someone say such an awful thing.

    So I can feel your pain.


  • blondie

    The WTS has blackmailed the rank and file in print asking what will your dead loved ones say when they are resurrected and you aren't there to greet them.

    I'll try and find that unless someone else beats me to the punch.


    g94 9/8 p. 23 How Can I Get Over Daddy’s Death? ***

    Says young Kim who lost her father in death: "I think about my father every day. But I know he wouldn’t want us to give up or let anything halt our service to Jehovah. I want to be there to greet him when he returns in the resurrection."—John 5:28, 29.


    g95 1/22 p. 15 Joshua’s Faith—A Victory for Children’s Rights ***

    He cried, too, and said: ‘Mom, I’m in Jehovah’s hands.’ Then, ‘I want all of you to stay in the truth so you can welcome me back in the resurrection.

  • nelly136

    its not a biggie, it was just the icing on the cake to all the years of the same kind of crap they pulled over the 'dead rellies' not being able to see me or me being able to see them after armageddon if i wasnt good enough to get through, fleshybirdfodder will prolly keep what was said to him ingrained because it was said at a time that really hit home and they used it as a weapon after the death of his father, i remember it because one was said on the evening i was allowed round to my parents house to say goodbye (df announcement night) and the other not long after the birth of my baby.

    but really it was no different to what was ingrained into us from birth, its the timing that makes it stand out.

    edited to add....its not a biggie to me now, i've long since recognised it as emotional blackmail....just wanted to clarify i'm not minimising the effect it can have on someone, cos back then i was prone to nightmares of my baby being armagonnagetemmed.

  • Fleshybirdfodder
    but really it was no different to what was ingrained into us from birth, its the timing that makes it stand out

    Well said Nelly. I really appreciate that many of us have gone through the same thing. As I've maintained from my observations, this cult mentality capitalizes on those at their most vulnerable. I'm glad we are all surviving.


  • jgnat

    Yes, the elders used the death card on my hubby as well, when his mama died.

  • nelly136

    fbf to me thinking about it now is like reading a shopping list, the nightmares went away,my no.1 baby is 18 no.2 is 11, but occassionally its worth thinking back and remembering the vitriolic way it was spat at me back then cos it sums up my life as a jw and the reason i was soo right to leave. so my advice would be to you...let time heal that little nasty up, and just look at the source...youre out, theyre still living the 'dream?'

    when i see jw's with their kids on the doors i feel sooo sorry for them cos theyre all potential walking throwaways. the kids if they dare to have a different view and the parents if they ever dare to leave when the kids grow up.

  • nelly136

    ya know all they got to hold pepes is fear and a carrot, and they really dont mind what depths they have to go to use them seperately or combined. really thinking about it, its not that theyre being personal cos theyd say exactly the same kind of thing to the next person and the next. and another one in another area would be chanting the same tune to someone else. (did ya see the film village of the damned lol)

    over the years i've seen letters from different jw families kissing off their 'loved' ones with the standard 'you're gonna die!' 'we'll love you when you come back!' you could photocopy one and just change the names at the bottom and put it in the one letter fit all catagory.

    they're all taught to think theyre talking from the heart but theyre dead from the eyes back.

    (just my opinion am in one of those nostalgic moods remembering the good times .....no robots clones or glove puppets were hurt in the making of this post heh!)

  • KW13
    Sorry to be a downer. Something triggered it in my head today and I had to let it out. Thanks.

    hey, dont be sorry

  • sass_my_frass

    I was depressed for some time. My family wish that I'd suicided then, so I'd have a resurrection, rather than get disfellowshipped. It's sick on so many levels. It used to bother me but I've started rethinking all of these things to put a positive spin on them. This one goes: at least I no longer miss them. How could I miss people who would prefer me dead?

    My mum's entire congregation is going to spend their dotage 'just barely hanging in there' in the truth so that they can get to see three people who were killed in an accident a few years ago.

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