Did the elders ever blackmail you with dead loved ones?

by Fleshybirdfodder 33 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Fleshybirdfodder

    This is kind of a sensitive subject for me, but I had to get it off my chest. When I was eighteen my father died suddenly of a heart attack, and I started drifting from depression. I wasn't doing anything wrong, I was just in shock and started really questioning my beliefs. To make a long story short, the elders hauled me into the B school and told me they noticed that I hadn't been as active. I was pretty much silent on the matter, obviously depressed, and then one of them asked "you want to see your father again don't you?" That really got the wheels turning in my head. How the hell does an eighteen year old kid reply to that? What kind of blackmail is that to keep someone in "the truth"? Recently my neice tragically died being hit by a car crossing the street, and it just brought back a flood of memories. My mother would never get close with her (she is worldly and going to be destroyed after all). But I suppose now that my dear little niece is gone she gets a free ticket into the new system, thus making it ok for my mom to grieve over such an incredible little girl who she never took the time to get to know (unlike her witness grandchildren who are constantly showered in gifts). What really bugs me is that my she uses that same elder mentality. Like she has an "oppurtunity" or an "in" because of this tragedy to Witness to my sister (who has been out for twenty plus years and is such an amazing person and mom). It makes me sick and it really hurts. Sorry to be a downer. Something triggered it in my head today and I had to let it out. Thanks.


  • under_believer

    The elders never used that on me. But the Society has. They are the ones that train the elders to do that.
    It's one of the most manipulative and wicked things they do. This prevent Witnesses from having a realistic view of death. It prevents them from grieving properly. It devalues life; no need to put such an emphasis on preserving life when the resurrection is there. And it is of course a method of control, pushing emotional buttons that should be verboten, at a person's very most vulnerable time.

  • jwfacts

    Sorry to hear about your tragedies. The Watchtower Society is totally heartless, their veneer of love is very thin. You have good reason to feel anger.

  • nelly136

    my parents told me they wish i'd died in an accident being refused blood so i could be resurrected instead of leaving jws .........amongst other things (no i didnt have an accidnt they just wished i had)

    my dad wouldnt look at my baby as 'it was as good as dead already' so there was no point getting attached.

    so i got a rough idea where you're coming from, youre not being a downer, its better out than in

  • Fleshybirdfodder


    I'm sorry to hear that. How can anyone say that about any child?



    The elders didn't, but my uncles did especially after my mom died, and it was getting around that I was atttending one of Christendom's church. THis time of my life was extremely difficult, and why I stopped writing on the My Story thread.

  • wednesday

    they do, they will point to david and bathsheba and say the baby will die just like that one did.

    radical sick people

  • under_believer

    my dad wouldnt look at my baby as 'it was as good as dead already' so there was no point getting attached.

    Holy crap! That is the worst thing I have ever heard. I am so sorry to hear that.

  • delilah

    my dad wouldnt look at my baby as 'it was as good as dead already' so there was no point getting attached.

    OMG, Nelly....that has got to be the worst, most evil thing I have ever heard, come from the mouth of a grandparent! And this mentality prevails amongst the witnesses.

    Your father is really missing out ....

    My best friend , on her deathbed, told my mom, she wanted to see me in the new system. I was DF'd at the time, and wasn't there when she died. What a guilt trip!!

  • serendipity

    ((( fbf )))

    I can't tell you how many times JWs have used the line on an inactive/df'd person: "Don't you want to see <insert dead relative's name> in the new system?" or alternately "how will <dead relative> feel in paradise when they are resurrected and you're not there?" It's judgmental and psychological torture too. Sick!

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