by helios 24 Replies latest social humour
Ooooh oooooooooh ooooooooooooooooh and the Shun the Apostate Terror House... where apostate animatronic characters try to talk to and you have to avoid them and "Treat them as if they are DEAD" to get to the other side!!!
Along the way you get to spot fellow witnesses commiting "sins", blab to the elder at the end and win free entry into the afore mentioned Everlasting Life Ride!!!
How about a WATER SLIDE/BAPTISM POOL to make your baptism a truly memorable occasion?
How about a Jump for Jehovah Trampoline Center and Paradise Petting Zoo. Before any show you'd have to be in your seat for ten minutes to enjoy the musical interlude or you couldn't watch it.
There needs to be a great big inflatable smurf where you get to beat up and jump on the little smurfs
A "no suit/tie or dress/panty hose no service" sign An 8 hour long lecture on safety called a "spiritual paradise" including a drama about what terrible things can go wrong if you don't follow the rules.(we hope you brought a sac lunch because you can't leave to get anything and we won't sell you food either) You get name badges you can't take off even after you leave.
There would be the "Return Visit" road rally ride where you drive a little go cart with three dummys. You drive around a track and look at doors to houses and write down that you've visited them in a book. The first one to stop in front of 10 empty houses and complete thier log wins.
There would be the "Endure by Making Meetings" challange. This would be an adventure course where you have to walk 7 miles barefoot and wade across a raging stream to get to the Kingdom Hall. First one there to comment wins a pair of sandals.
There would be the "Bookbag Toss". Here you throw a bookbag full of literature across a chasm and try to hit a householder on the other side.
W.Once
and a big wheel that just keeps going round and round and coming back to the same place again..and no-one can get off
There is one thing missing from they perfect j-dub theme park. have only a very few washrooms [restrooms in yankkee-speak] for the 'sisters'. Didn't you always just love to see all those poor women lined up for the toilets at the really big old district conventions?
Food: the scaled down stuff, friut bags, danishes, and Cott Soda [here in Canada] just would not be sexy enough at a money making theme park. there should be all the things that Jesus made for the crowds:
Fish: sashimi or california rolls
Bread: some nice italian loaves, with balsamic and virgin olive oil to dip
Wine: hey J-dubs need it to survive, a nice Rodney Strong Cabernet or a Masi sangiovese would do or for whites a Pinot Grigio
Might as well eat well while we've making the $$$$$BUCKSSSSS
PS......I'm inviting ted and melita J. for luncheeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How about a "town" set up in the center with Pioneer Olympics? You could see how quickly they could get to each door on the 'street'--see how accurately they record statistics about the 'householder' .
Also you could have extreme weather like the blizzards of Upstate New York and you would be given 3 sets of tights and two denim skirts, a plastic bag to go over your tights at the foot and then a pair of socks. Then we would see how quickly the pioneers could get dressed and how long it would be before they worked up a chill by 'witnessing' on said street!
I'd also like to see a Window Washers set, where we could see who has the fastest squeegee in the kingdom!
The best part would be the Janitor Showdown. Each contestant would be assigned a theme-park restroom and at the end of the day we would see whose is the cleanest! During the day at surprise intervals, a Judge named Rutherford would roam the park and check to see that all of the stalls had toilet paper!
I'm just about dead from laughter at all of your answers.
