Theme park

by helios 24 Replies latest social humour

  • helios

    How long will it be before the WT sets up a theme park. With all that money from the sale of Brooklyn property it would be a shame not to use it for some other cash generating scheme. We could have THE HALL OF THE PRESIDENTS with robotic figures all driven by hot air.

    Why not the BETH SAREEM EXPERIENCE. With a full size reconstruction with animatronic OT 'saints'. Then down to the garden to search for Judge Rutherford's grave. In the garden we can see the GREAT DATE TREE, full of dates but all of them fruitless.

    Then the HALL OF MIRRORS with total distortions of everything.

    Now comes the great WATCHTOWER SOUND AND LIGHT SHOW sadly that is all it is lots of sound many flashes but nothing at the end of it.

    Sorry I can't think of much else but maybe a few of you good people can think of a few more items

  • Beachbender

    LMAO!! crack me up!!! don`t forget the Kingdom Melodies playing for your pleasure throughout the park!!!

  • Jim_TX

    How about a train ride... with a tunnel (tunnel vision), and a light at the end of the tunnel that keeps getting brighter.

    ...or is that the headlamp of an oncoming train... *worried look*


    Jim TX

  • sir82

    And the most popular game would be...

    Wac-a-CO, with those big padded mallets...

  • Highlander

    with those big padded mallets...

    Do they have to be padded?

  • Swan

    The Armageddon, a roller coaster that is all hype while you are standing in the queue, but then you walk through a door and you are back in the park with nothing to show for the time you wasted waiting for the ride.

    All of the refreshment stands serve nothing but cheese Danishes, Shasta Lemon-lime soda, Vanilla pudding, and fruit bags. They used to have more on the menu, but they ran out. Maybe one refreshment stand in an obscure location can serve Miracle Wheat, but you have to really hunt for it.

    Restrooms should have paper over the mirrors and signs that say "One towel only."

    Some customers would be assigned landscaping and cleaning duties after the park closed.

    Some customers would be asked to stay after the park closed to meet in a room with the management where that ask you what kind of panties your wearing.

    One ride, called the Pioneer, lets you ride around in a car with several others, and lasts for 75 hours, after which you get to do it again. You can stop the ride for bathroom breaks, but first you have to find a bathroom.


  • greendawn

    "Now comes the great WATCHTOWER SOUND AND LIGHT SHOW sadly that is all it is lots of sound many flashes but nothing at the end of it."

    That's a great description of the essence of the WTS, lots of sound and flashes.

    There could also be some animation of the big A to show how those that disobeyed the instructions of the FDS will be punished. Complete with screams and yells.

  • sir82
    Some customers would be assigned landscaping and cleaning duties after the park closed.

    But you'd have to pay extra for this "privilege"...

  • Nosferatu

    Drama 3-D!!! I wanna Lot's wife turn into salt in 3-D!

    Oh yeah, how about Paradise Erf Safari? The tour guide will be a black woman wearing a floral skirt and a permasmile, and have a bowl of fruit.

    Then, there's the Build-A-Book Workshop. Cut out quotes from old Watchtower publications, paste them in a new soft-cover scrap book, and come up with a 16 word title for that Franz touch!

    Then, there's the Mr. Potato Jesus. The only thing that you can alter is his beard.

    Oh yeah, there has to be a Star Trek ride somewhere in the park.

    You can also meet the famous Governing Body members in certain areas of the park! However, if you ask for an autograph or try taking a picture, they'll turn their head away and put up their open hand to reject you, or cover their face with a song book.

    Then, there's "The light gets brighter" ride, where you wear welding glasses, get something poked up your ass, and travel through a tunnel of darkness.

    I hope they sell Ted Jaracz action figures.

    Oh yeah, and the park's sound system would be playing non-stop Kingdom Melodies.

  • BritBoy

    A petting zoo, complete with full grown lions eating grass that little girls wearing cardigans can go pet!

    And the "Experience Everlasting Life" ride. Where families (black families on one side, white families on the other... the chinese child is petting the lions) wearing cardigans can pick fruit, smile robotically and praise Jehovah all day.... everyday.... forever and ever.... and ever.... this rise is open all year round.

Share this