"You have a week to Move out" PLEASE HELP! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!!

by stillAwitness 78 Replies latest jw friends

  • stillAwitness
    Do you have a girlfriend you can hook up with, or can you co-op with students or the like?

    no. Not anyone I know. Or anyone who I know is responsible enough at least that I would want to move in with them. Most girls I know don't pay their half of the rent on time and that sort of sillyness.

    I suppose there's always other options. but its almost like i need this push to finally just leave. That kick in the ass to finally break free and now that its here i don't know if I can get my feet to move in the right direction. Did anyone else ever feel like that?

  • stillAwitness
    Start calling any JW friends

    I don't have any.

  • stillAwitness

    The YMCA has rooms for rent???? Is it mostly homeless and crackheads there though? I'd rather be with my bf in that case but thank you for the note. I will look into it

  • OpenFireGlass
    But you're a GUY! Its so much easier for ya'll. If I end up on the streets I have to worry about being raped and stuff. Its so much scarier for us.

    I was still only 17.. not to be chauvinistic, but If I were a female, I woulda worked it.. point being, you have an option to move in with your BF that you have known for a little while,,, That's still better that the street.

    you think I wasn't scared at 17?

    I just decided it was better to be broke and on the street, than broke in spirit...or have a broke ass, from the physical abuse

  • serendipity


    Just get started. Start packing today and take your stuff to your bf's. If your parents relent, then you can haul it back home, if that's what you want to do. Action will help you overcome the fear. A journey of a thousand miles begins with one step.

  • stillAwitness

    You are all right. Gosh, I wish i didn't feel so weak all the time. In my mind its always can't can't can't.

  • prophecor
    I suppose there's always other options. but its almost like i need this push to finally just leave. That kick in the ass to finally break free and now that its here i don't know if I can get my feet to move in the right direction. Did anyone else ever feel like that?

    It may be time for you to leave. I know when I left, and I have no Jehovah's Witnesses in my family to bar me from the help that normal parents usually give, it was scary for me as well. When I did leave however, I was resigned to never return to my parents house, for any reason. After a while, you just out grow each other. Everyday is looked at as " How much longer do I have to wait before making my exit? " It's best to leave on as best of terms as possible, but if all else fails, the Grace that belongs to God has a way of showing up in lives of all of us.

    Take a chance, spin the wheel, and see what life may bring you. You'll have many more challenges before you, however, according to how resolved you are in your determination to succeed, regardless of the consequences, your future can be shaped by your own hands as you work the the processes of life.

    It's a big bad world out there, yes, but if your freedom is what you truly desire, it will come, sometimes at a hefty price. Make certain that you invest the energy of your life in those who truly mean you good. I wish you well and respect whatever decision you make. Somehow, either way, I think you're going to be just fine.

  • candidlynuts

    hugs stilla.. i was scared at 36 leaving an 18 yr marriage with NOTHING..not even my kids.

    fear cant stop you.. eventually your going to have to make choices and live with the choice. maybe check your paper for " rooms for rent" near your work area they are usually 1/2 - 3/4 cheaper than apartments.

    main thing you have to realize is.. your not going to live in the style in which your accustomed for awhile. your living in a settled household of a long marriage.. when your on your own you have to build up to those things.

    dont assume you'll fail, dont assume you wont be able to handle the dangers and risks that come with it. being raised a JW has magnified those fears. satans not out to get you. bad guys are out there but they arent lurking about waiting for a juicy young witness girl to snatch out of jehovahs arms. normal precautions will go a long way in staying safe. ( ie: park in well lighted areas , dont walk around alone in bad neighborhoods etc)

    your a grown woman living like a 14 yr old kid (with parents rules not your own maturity)... once your out of your parents house you will be a lot happier with your freedom. no 22 yr old should have to lie about their whereabouts so much. there isnt anything wrong with working and having a boyfriend.. thats NORMAL.

  • FlyingHighNow

    Have you looked in women's sheltering programs like the aYWCA. I know here in Grand Rapids, they have a gorgeous facility to help women who are suddenly without a home due to domestic violence or emotional abuse. I'd say you'd qualify in the emotional abuse dept. Are you near a big city?

  • Scully

    You could go to the police station and tell them that your parents have kicked you out of the house and ask if they'll give you the address of a women's shelter or YWCA so you can at least have a roof over your head until you can find another place to stay. You will be expected to contribute to the running of the shelter - sharing chores etc. At least you'll be in a safe place. That way you don't need to depend on your boyfriend for support, and your parents will have a difficult time finding you.

    Get yourself a PO box so you can get mail delivery. If you don't have your own cell phone, now is the time to get one - basic plan, with free incoming calls, and use pay phones to make outgoing calls unless you have unlimited outgoing calls included in your plan. Get familiar with public transportation and buy a monthly pass, which will free you from being dependent on your (mom's) car and insurance payments. If you don't have a free web-based email address, get one from hotmail, yahoo, or gmail and use the internet at the public library.

    For necessities, a small kettle, microwave and toaster, and a few microwavable containers should be enough to allow you to cook simple meals for yourself. A bath towel and a face cloth for personal hygiene. Go to the laundromat every couple of days and keep your outfits simple. If you have a ton of clothes and shoes, see if a friend will store them for you until you get a place of your own. Maybe you can arrange with your friend to exchange your outfits once a week so you don't feel like you're always wearing the same things over and over.

    It is do-able.... lots of people do without a vehicle, there's no reason why you absolutely "need" one at the age of 22.

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