I suppose there's always other options. but its almost like i need this push to finally just leave. That kick in the ass to finally break free and now that its here i don't know if I can get my feet to move in the right direction. Did anyone else ever feel like that?
It may be time for you to leave. I know when I left, and I have no Jehovah's Witnesses in my family to bar me from the help that normal parents usually give, it was scary for me as well. When I did leave however, I was resigned to never return to my parents house, for any reason. After a while, you just out grow each other. Everyday is looked at as " How much longer do I have to wait before making my exit? " It's best to leave on as best of terms as possible, but if all else fails, the Grace that belongs to God has a way of showing up in lives of all of us.
Take a chance, spin the wheel, and see what life may bring you. You'll have many more challenges before you, however, according to how resolved you are in your determination to succeed, regardless of the consequences, your future can be shaped by your own hands as you work the the processes of life.
It's a big bad world out there, yes, but if your freedom is what you truly desire, it will come, sometimes at a hefty price. Make certain that you invest the energy of your life in those who truly mean you good. I wish you well and respect whatever decision you make. Somehow, either way, I think you're going to be just fine.