My 19 year old "DF'd" niece tried to "kill" herself over a "married man"

by booker-t 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • fullofdoubtnow
    fullofdoubtnow

    Let her move in now, and don't worry what your brother says. You seem to be the only one prepared to offer her the love and care that she needs.

  • skeeter1
    skeeter1

    Take her into your house.

    There is something "missing" inside of her that she feels that she needs this "man." Her "father" sounds like he's been emotionally away from his daughter, and this is fueling her need to be with this "man." Keep her busy, both physically & mentally. Get her out & about - whether that's going hiking, beach, boating, school, etc. At 19, there are plenty of other men who will find her worthwhile, sexy, fun, ...and they will not be married, will not lie to her (well, at least not as badly), and not have 3 kids. This "man" isn't going to leave his wife, too much alimony, child support, loss of social status in his family, etc. This "man" just wanted a fling.

  • Gill
    Gill

    You have to do all you can while you can. We don't always get a second chance, do we.

    Forget the JW BS and do what's right. The JWs wouldn't know what's 'right' if it jumped up and bit them on the ass.

  • Kudra
    Kudra

    She's an adult- you can talk to her if you damn well want to.
    Those other people have NO say over what she does.
    She (and they) sorta need to be made aware of this.
    -K
    Best of luck!!!!!!!

  • lisavegas420
    lisavegas420

    I agree with everyone else...move that child in your home now. She needs you.

    lisa

  • bebu
    bebu

    You're an adult, she's an adult. She's DF, you're DA. Looks like your brother is blustering about hoping you will think he's got some kind of authority over either of you, legally or JW-wise. He's completely wrong.

    What do you think would be best for you to do in regards to your niece?

    ...As Nike puts it, "Just do it."

    bebu

  • Spectrum
    Spectrum

    If my neice was in the trouble yours is I'd tell my brother where to go and take her in. Why are you even thinking about it? Is she not like a daughter to you?

    At some point I'd have a serious talk with her as to why she is trying to be a family recker.

  • LDH
    LDH
    My niece thought he was going to leave his wife but he was lying to her all the time.

    There's a surprise!

    Note to single females dating married men because they're going to "leave" their wife for you: ha ha. If he's a cheater, he's a liar.

    Booker, get this girl some help now. Does she have health insurance which could provide her a few days of 'rest' in a psychiatric facility?

    Lisa

  • nelly136
    nelly136


    he wants you to leave her alone so she'll feel isolated and punished and go crawling back on her knees to repent.. someone helping her right now might just mess that up

    of course she may do that later anyways, but right now she needs a roof and hopefully some treatment, once shes got those at least she can choose whether she wants to go back or not, instead of being forced to crawl back through lack of options.

  • LyinEyes
    LyinEyes

    Please get her some help some help right now. My sister killed herself over her husband's affair , and feeling she was not loved and never would be. I think in her case , it wasnt so much she loved this man so much she would rather die , but the fact that she felt she could not be a person who could be loved the way she wanted and she was tired of screwing up . Long , long story to that.

    I had no clue she was hurting as bad as she was. And our own Mother committed suicide because my elder Dad did run off with another woman. In my Mom's case she was hurt because she did love my Dad, but she too screwed her own life up with pills and was full of guilt about hurting Jehovah.

    If you can let her move in , at least long enough for her to see that she is a value, at least to you. Get her some help,,,just when you think you have talked them out of suicidal idealation, it still might happen. Some people you can't save. I know I tried and tired and was still shocked when it did .

    I wish to God, I would have seen the signs , but I really feel my sister didnt want me to know, she knew I would put her in the hospital and she honestly would have rather died than that, and she did. She did it her way I guess. STill I wish I would have done it. Looking back I can see something was wrong. She was also anorexic and that didnt help her mental state.

    So , so many times women brought up JW, and many not also,,,,,,,think the only way to happines is a man. If your neice could find some girl friends, get out and be with others, do things with her to help her from hiding in the house.

    I can't stress it enough, get her professional help and it will be hard for you , but well worth it,,,,,,to keep a close eye on her. Give her the love she needs and help her love herself, it takes time, but maybe you can help her. Just realize that you can't do it alone, inlist help from family , friends, any avenue you can to help her thru this. She just can't see that her life can be so much better, but she will one day if she can just make it thru this.

    Much love , Dede

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