My 19 year old "DF'd" niece tried to "kill" herself over a "married man"

by booker-t 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • booker-t

    A while back I mentioned on a post that my 19 year old niece was "Df'd" for having an affair with a married man. She is "obsessed" with this guy. He is a guy at her job and he is in his 40's with a wife and three kids. My niece thought he was going to leave his wife but he was lying to her all the time. My niece and the guys wife had a very nasty "confrontation" with the wife threating my niece if she came anywhere near her husband. My niece went to the elders feeling so guilty and they Disfellowshipped her. With all of this my JW brother who is a ministeral servant "kicked" my niece out of his home and told her she is not welcomed there until she is "reinstated". I almost went ballistic on my brother for being so cold hearted. I have tried and tried to talk to my niece to try and cheer her up but it is falling on a deaf ear. Naturally my brother won't speak to me because I am DA'd and told me on the phone to "stay away" from his daughter. I need some advice posters should I let my niece move in with me or stay out of it? I am afraid that my niece might cut her wrist for a second time and succeed this time. What should I do? I love my niece like a "daughter".

  • ferret

    She needs you NOW I would let her move in and give her the support that she needs.

  • Fleur

    Be sure she knows that you can be counted upon. She needs a good male role model in her life...obviously her father isn't it or she wouldn't have been hooking up with a 40 year old man!

    Help her all you can, your reaching out to her might make all the difference. That's my suggestion. If any of my relatives were in the same situation, I would definitely offer all the help I could.

    Good luck,


  • Broken Hearted
    Broken Hearted

    My personal opinion is,

    Your brother is not talking to you because you are DA'd well then it won't harm that relationship. However, You can Save a life and let a mixed up girl know that someone out there really does care.

    I took in one of my sister's daughters that ran away from home for about 6 months, She was already 18 but still in Highschool. She thanks me to this day for being there if for nothing else to listen and giving her a warm bed to sleep in.

  • Finally-Free
    Naturally my brother won't speak to me because I am DA'd and told me on the phone to "stay away" from his daughter.

    So, he's shunning her and shunning you too? Then he has no business telling either of you to "stay away" from anyone. Period.

    Do whatever you can to help her out.


  • Balsam

    Reach out to her, forget your Brother. Sadly this happens too often in young women who get involved with married men. My ex-husband did the same kind of crap with I was married to him. Only I was willing to cut him loose and give him to the young woman who wanted him so bad. She killed herself before she found out.


  • sammielee24

    Re your statement - 'I love my niece like my daughter'. How would you treat your own daughter in the circumstances? How would you want others to treat her given the same circumstances? Personally, I have nieces that I am extremely close to and I wouldn't hesitate even for a split second to help them in whatever way I felt they needed my help. If she needs a place to stay and you have the space why not? If she needs counselling other than the Society, why not utilize the time with you to help her get some. Isn't that what families are for? You only have to play by the Witness rules if you want to be a Witness - df'ing/da'ing...who cares any more? It's all excuses. This is family. sammieswife.

  • mkr32208

    1st go to your brothers house and beat him to the point he can't stand up

    2nd let his daughter move in with you

    3rd if he attempts to contact you OR her repeat step 1... several times...

  • lonelysheep

    Please let her move in ASAP! She needs you to be the dad that he isn't.

  • KW13

    Get her to move in ASAP, she needs a sound base and a good home to sort things out from.

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