I need advice re: monthly field service report

by under_believer 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • uninformed

    I think if you go inactive, not reporting time for 6 months in a row, they will get the idea and leave you alone. I personally find it distasteful to turn in fake reports. However, there are a lot of people on this board that are just trying to cope the best way they can.

    I do encourage you to read the Bible with your kids and develop a spiritual relationship with them based on truth, rather than on the WT. Your kids are growing up in a very hostile environment, and if you can, help them to know the saving power of Jehovah through Jesus.

    Sorry I got religious, and no harm meant. Not being a WT-ite doesn't mean you shouldn't be spiritual.


  • blondie

    Count your time here on JWD; lots of people are not baptized that read your posts. But why not hold out for 2 more months and become inactive and "off the books" as joyzabel says. No longer will you show up in the count in the yearbook.

    You're a man so they may not let you slide as easily and if your wife is still active, that can create difficulties at home. They will badger her about you which is sad.

    (smile) or you could turn in time and quit going to any meetings.(smile)

    Inactive Blondie (they badgered my husband)

  • under_believer

    Thank you, all, for your advice. It's so helpful to hear from people who have been there.

    inbyathread, thanks for the scriptural input--I do realize that it's unscriptural and, as a matter of fact, completely ridiculous to keep all those records, which is one of the reasons I stopped in the first place.

    Darth He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named, thanks for the sympathy--much appreciated. Funny story--back before there was the internet, and while I was still an active Witness, I did some informal witnessing on a bulletin board--remember those? local dialup number you'd call with your modem? The elders didn't take kindly to that. They weren't panicked, though, like they would be now.

    Angelica, welcome to the board. I think all of us here are either suffering, used to suffer, or will suffer in the future because of the Society. I am trying to avoid having my kids grow up to be Witnesses and suffering the same fate you do. It'll be so much easier to get them out while they're still young.

    uninformed, thanks for the input. I am pretty close to the 6-month mark. I too find it distasteful and dishonest to turn in fake reports, which is why I hadn't done it yet. I would do it, though, if it would ease the fade. There are compromises I'm willing to make. As far as training the kids, I'm not in a place right now where I can offer spiritual guidance. My thinking currently runs in the agnostic line--I'm still on the rebound, mentally, and I am not sure if I am agnostic right now because I'm reacting to the Society or because it actually makes sense.

    blondie, thanks so much for the warning about my wife. I can't get too specific yet, but to put it simply--that woman doesn't need any badgering right now. She takes care of several kids, some of which have health or behavioral problems, and she has her hands full. She's also trying very sincerely to still be a good Witness, which is something I find admirable and respectable, even if it's misguided. Those emotions are what cause me to still go to meetings with her even though I'd rather spend the evening vomiting.

  • MsMcDucket

    Underbeliever, put down the time that you spend on Jehovah's Witness Discussion. You are witnessing to us! You are witnessing about what you believe in. That's what counts. Oops! I just repeated what Darth said. I going to have to pinch him!

  • jwfacts

    I put in 1 hour a month for a couple of years. Eventually they came to me to push me to do more. Whatever you do, sooner or later they will be on your back. Might as well be sooner than later. They cant d/f you for not going witnessing.

  • sass_my_frass

    You've got to be 'irregular' for six months before you're 'inactive'. I was inactive for three years and they didn't notice me, but I was a sister, was single and childless, and barely attended meetings. I had a couple of very active flatmates and they still forgot about me.

    Maybe you can turn a small report in every few months, you don't have to explain how you got those two or three hours; that way you're not lying too often if that bothers you, and you won't put your family through anything they don't like along the lines of living with an inactive husband/father. Be sure to turn the report in on time so that the service overseer isn't calling you up for your story.

  • brutusmaximus

    I used to put reports in then they would say, how did you manage this as we haven't seen you at the groups? I just said I witnessed to the kids and did informal at work. Then came the crunch when I said I couldn't do it anymore so they came over listened to my reasons and left me alone. Just don't say that you don't think God is using the borg if you say that they will put you out for sure

    All the best with your struggle


  • NewYork44M

    You are much more a pain in the a## if you are irregular than if you are inactive. If you want to annoy the elders turn in one hour ever fourth month. They will love you for that especially when the CO comes to town.

  • wannaexit

    Can you tolerate showing your face at the service arrangement and going out for about half an hour? That is all you need to do.

    As long as elders and dubs see you once in a while you can fake it.


  • TheListener

    For my fade I slowed down everything in unison. commenting, talks, reported service time, meeting attendance. If you go regularly to the meetings they are going to have an easy time bugging you about service time. Until you stop attending for your wife's sake you should put enough hours in to squeak by. Usually 5 or 6 should do. If you've traditionally gotten higher hours lower your reporting numbers slowly. Fading is an art, unfortunately we don't get a practice run first.

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