Yes, I agree that perceptions are sometimes ridiculous and cruel, but I am fat, and I don't mind a good fat joke. Hell, I was in a restaurant the other day, and I only ordered a beer. I wasn't hungry. My skinny friend next to me ordered half the menu. The waitress gave me a dirty look. People around me snickered. Was it because I'm a fat man who hardly eats? Perhaps. The thing that burns me up is when I lose a signifigant amount of weight from time to time, and the big deal people make about it. I almost feel worse being thin. If I am this "important" while thin, then what the hell did they think about me when I was fat?! I'd rather be a fat guy who tells fat jokes. At least I know where people stand with me.
Do you think that most "thin"people have hatred towards "heavy" people?
by booker-t 42 Replies latest jw friends
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jstalin
Hmm.. the thread started with booker-t, a 40 year old, saying he has lost 65 pounds. I understand that metabolism slows down with age. I'm not saying everyone can be perfectly skinny. I am saying that there are different body types and different happy mediums. I get my body type from my mother. She's got extra weight but doesn't look huge. I work very hard to keep myself in shape. I've been a tubby person. I've been skinny.
I'm also saying that the morbidly obese can choose to not be that way. I recently saw a show on the morbidly obese and a doctor who is an expert on gastric bypasses. He said flat out that there isn't one morbidly obese person out there that isn't that way because of diet.
There is a guy in my office who weighs probably over 500 pounds. My primary feeling for him is sorrow. However, he sits there and eats nearly all day. Input vs. output. That input ratio may change with age and metabolism, but it still works. You can't gain more than you eat.
Health problems could contribute, I'll give you that. But the human body isn't all that different from a car - energy in and energy out. I'm not trying to sound like a jerk here.
It takes a certain number of calories to live. Eating more than that will put more energy in your body than you need. From my own experience, different calories (meat vs carbs) are processed differently for different people. I've learned that I need to stay away from certain things and that certain other things work very well for my body.
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stillconcerned
JStalin, i tend to agree. Weighing in here, :) as this pushes a button for me....
Morbid obesity makes a strong appearance in my family tree. I have a genetic tendency to gain weight, and keep it. As a result, i work out like crazy and am VERY careful about what i eat.
Of course physical ability and health impact weight. We're all dealt a different genetic hand...
Each individual has to balance his or her 'hand' , and make healthy choices in accord with what he/she is dealt.
MOST who are vastly overweight, in my experience, don't make any consistant effort to get physical exercise or SERIOUSLY monitor their intake.
It's all about what you make a priority...
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sir82
Just my $0.02...
The population of the USA is around 300 million
Something like 40 million persons are considered "obese" in the USA, around 13% percent of the population.
What percentage of the 40 million have some sort of glandular disorder that is root cause of the obesity? 10%? 20%? 50%? In any case, there are millions who are obese who cannot blame a "chemical imbalance".
Are there persons who have glandular disorders who are not obese?
Are there persons who are obese who do not have the glandular disorder?
Might there be a "middle ground" in the debate, somewhere between "All obese persons are lazy gluttonous slobs" and "Every single person on the face of the earth who is obese has malfunctioning hormones, and its not their fault that they ae obese"?
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stillconcerned
..that said, NOTHING justifies rude behavior or cruelty.
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rebel8
Posters do you have thin friends that hate heavy people or do you know some thin people that hate heavy people or are we just "paranoid"?
I know some who do, not people I would ever choose to be friends with.
I am a thin person & seeing someone who's somewhat overweight doesn't make me even blink an eye. I have dated slightly/moderately overweight men, no problem.
To be honest though, extreme morbid obesity does shock me because I don't understand it. What adds to my confusion is when extremely obese people claim the only difference between us is our metabolisms. That is not true--I exercise & refrain from overeating. When I was in college overseas, I very rarely saw morbidly obese people. That culture involved lots of walking and eating healthy. I don't completely discount it, but I admit it's hard for me to believe the widespread obesity in the US is not attributable to lifestyle.
I do not hate overweight people, nor would I ever in a million years do anything cruel such as the things you described. IMO, for a person to do that, they have a serious mean streak or personality defect--these things probably are obvious in other social interactions as well.
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FreeFromWTBS
I am myself average. I'm not thin by any means but I am not overweight either. If I see someone that is very very heavy where they struggle to do basic things, I feel very bad for them. I know that they are using food to cope with much more serious problems.
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cognizant dissident
I've read a lot of comments here about different reasons people could be overweight. There are definitely some medical conditions that can lead to gross weight gain. Hypothyroidism, insulin resistance, kidney disease, adrenal disease to name a few. The treatments for some diseases (corticostearoids) can also lead to huge weight gain. There are also many painful physical conditions that can prevent one from exercising fully. That being said there are a lot of overweight people who eat too much junk food and watch too much TV.The point is not what causes someone to be fat. The point is, that when we see a fat person in the mall or wherever, we do not know that person and what has led them to this point in their lives. We do not know if they have a serious illness, or if they have been in an accident , or if they just eat way too many fritos and donuts. How do we know that person in the motorized cart is in there because they are too lazy to walk? How do we know they don't have rheumatoid arthitis or MS. We don't know. We do not know if they have the knowledge or capability at this time to take action about their weight problem. Anything we think we know about them is just an assumption and probably an incorrect one at that. So we need to stop making assumptions and judgements about others when we really don't know their story.
The bottom line is this, making unsolicited comments about other people's bodies, whether fat or thin, ugly or beautiful, is superficial, hurtful, and rude! If someone wants to know what you think of how they look, they will ask you. If they don't ask, then keep your opinions to yourself.
Cog
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wifey
Booker-T
Hi, first of all congratulations on your weight loss. I too have struggled with weight loss, its wonderful that you are able to do this on your own. I tried and failed to many times to mention, and 3 yrs ago had surgery. Yes I too have seen much rudness to heavy people by thin ones. Its such a shame too. I learned that many overweight people try and try to lose weight and many times lose the battle. I only feel for these people and hope and pray they can lose the weight in some way or another.
Best of luck on the weight loss!!
Wifey
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GermanXJW
I myself am struggeling with weight issues: I have lost, regained, lost, regained... well.
However, I was once with a "friend" (I put this like that because he is one of the JW that dumped me) at a soccer stadium to watch a game. Beside him I look really slim. He was a fan of the other team and he got some really cruel remarks from the home team fans. I really felt sorry for him and thought that this was not okay.
However, I think that the weight issue is especially difficult for people who heard that "bodily training is beneficial for a little".
I recently talked to my doctor about my situation and he agreed that there is a relation of my eating behavior and the stress caused by the cult exit, losing friends and family.
So, please do not judge like: it is in your own hands.