by I-follow-the-narrow-path 53 Replies latest jw friends
My pastor used to say, "You can't keep a bird from flying over your head but you can keep it from making a nest in your hair."
The moral is, you can't control illogical impulses and random thoughts. You can control obsessing over them or acting them out.
The JW's won't teach you to stop cutting. All they know how to do is discipline (shun) if you confess your sin. Persist in finding a counsellor who will help.
How can they reject me for a sin I can not control? Or (possibly) a mental illness? I mean... they don't disfellowship the Schizofrenic that is in the congregation
How can they reject me for a sin I can not control? Or (possibly) a mental illness? I mean... they don't disfellowship the Schizofrenic that is in the congregation
Because they are in control. If you get baptised it will not be in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit as Jesus commanded His followers to be. Matt 28:19 Go, therefore, and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit
Here is what you will be getting baptised into:
***
w85 6/1 p. 30 Subjecting Ourselves to Jehovah by Dedication ***At the close of the convention baptism talk, the baptism candidates will be in position to answer with depth of understanding and heartfelt appreciation two simple questions that serve to confirm that they recognize the implications of following Christ’s example. The first question is:
On
the basis of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ, have you repented of your sins and dedicated yourself to Jehovah to do his will?The second is:
Do
you understand that your dedication and baptism identify you as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses in association with God’s spirit-directed organization?Having answered yes to these questions, candidates are in a right heart condition to undergo Christian baptism.
Where does it say anywhere in the Bible that God has a spirit-directed organization and that your baptism identifies you as being in association with that organization?
Dear Narrow, oh yes they will df the schizo. He will get the royal boot if he does something improper once too often.
The JWs are not psychiatrists nor are they therapists.
First they will get you in the org and then ignore you and treat you like a nutter.
And if you ever get reproved or dfd Narrow, it might all be too much for you. It is a very cruel treatment
for someone so sensitive and hurt already.
I already went to a doctor and I don't have depression. She said that it doesn't seem I do... after a 5 minute talk.
You need to find another doctor. Either she did not understand about the thoughts you are having or about the history of cutting, or she is an incompetent doctor who just wants to move on to the next patient as quickly as possible. A psychiatrist is an expert at diagnosing mental disorders, and can tell you more after 5 minutes than that other doctor ever could, but he will actually give you a whole 50 minutes instead of a measly 5.
I went to see a consuler for 4 sessions and when that didn't work my mum decided to not take me anymore. She said a consuler wouldn't help me, if it hasn't helped yet.
Your mother probably doesn't seem to understand how therapy works. It may take 40 or 400 sessions to get to the root of your problems, Hun. You have a lot on your plate and 4 sessions will only scratch the surface.
I don't cut as much now, but I have bad thoughts (not as often but) more than anyone.
That is good that you don't cut as much, but that means you still do it some, and that is not good. These bad thoughts can be very agonizing and difficult to control and live with without professional help.
I told my (now ex) boyfriend about these bad thoughts and he told me that everyone has them
He is wrong. Most people do not have them. People who have had a history of trauma, abuse, or mental illness do, however.
Do you have thoughts about people getting decapitated?
Yes, and disemboweled, and other amputations.
Or people sticking knives in your privates?
No, not knives specifically, but other items.
When you are home alone do you act out these thoughts... and fantasise about them?
I used to. But I have been going to therapists and have medication that has helped me come out of that dark place.
Do you have thoughts about your death in detail... almost as if a plan?
I used to, and came very close to actually successfully carrying out those plans on several occasions.
If you have answered yes to all these questions-- you are exactly like me!
This is what I told my ex-boyfriend and he told me everyone thinks like this. So, I just assume it is normal.
No it is not normal. I have learned that very few people think the way that I did. A psychiatric test showed me I was abnormal.
Sorry... I ranted.
There is not rule against ranting here. This is a subject that many people do not talk about; do not share. I am certainly guilty of that at times. But we need to talk about it if we are to help ourselves and other people.
I urge you to go to a psychiatrist or counselor who has experience in cutting. Your local county health offices probably have a list of doctors and counselors who deal with this and other issues of trauma or abuse.
Be well Elizabeth.
Tammy
when i was a dubbie even most average jdubs would avoid the overlyzealous jw nutters, goin out on the doors with them was a total nightmare cos they just didnt know when to shut up, if you become a constant embarrassment they will avoid you.
there was a lovely kind hearted lady in my cong she pioneered in all weathers on her own, .....always on her own! people used to say theyd go out with her then go sick at the last minute.
i'm pretty laid back but after a couple of times of doing doors with her i could see why. her foot would go in the door, she'd argue the pants offa pepes off the doors she wouldnt get out of their faces. she was like a pitbull on acid once she'd got her teeth in there was no letting go.
while i was out with her someone had to slam the door on her foot to get it out of their door. she got offended by that, someone else threatened to let their dogs out, i decided that it was better for my health not to go with her anymore. shame really she meant well but she was a liability to be out with.
How can they reject me for a sin I can not control?
Hunny, you need to find out about their methods before you join their club.
They can d'f you for having oral sex with your own husband in the privacy of your own bedroom (they rely on confessions)
They can d'f you for being a hermaphrodite (having both sets of sexual genitalia). They will claim it is a sexual choice rather than a medical condition.
They can d'f you for being the victim of sexual abuse, if the abuser is a practising Jehovahs Witness, and you go to an outside agency for help, like the police.
They can d'f you for being mentally ill. They will claim you are having problems with the demons.
They can d'f you for having a sexually transmitted disease, even though it later turns out that you contracted it from your Jehovahs Witness husband because he used prostitutes. (true case)
Wake up and smell the coffee please, before you are roped into something you cant get out of.
Yes you were unknowingly ridiculing her faith. That may be why she was looking at you strangely. Either that, or she noticed how bizarre the content of your beliefs was. Yes, I realize that is blunt but I'm beginning to worry you aren't going to get the point unless it is blatantly pointed out to you.
Please go back to your other thread and click on the links I shared with you. You said you don't like to research. (Well, no one does, but it's important.) I provided you with free research services, formatted into an illustrated brochure. Can't get much easier than that. I took the time to find & post the links for you; the least you can do is read them.
Please check out this stuff before you continue on your rampage trying to convert others to a religion you yourself aren't even sure you're willing to join.
I and countless others suffered much psychological and physical damage as a result of joining the JW cult. You seem to be unthinkingly and impulsively plowing ahead in a quest to convert others to this dangerous group without thoroughly checking it out for yourself.
What you are doing is the equivalent of learning a scant few facts about a new drug that everyone is skeptical about, but without trying it yourself or finding out if it's harmful, you're giving away free samples and pressuring people to take it.
PS-Self abuse is forbidden in the JW religion and is considered misconduct worthy of discipline. Check the elders' manual: http://www.reexamine.org/images/payattention.pdf
How can they reject me for a sin I can not control? Or (possibly) a mental illness? I mean... they don't disfellowship the Schizofrenic that is in the congregation
I'm going to tell you something that happened to me. Twelve years ago, I was going through post partum depression. I needed help. I thought about killing myself. I thought about hurting other people. I just wanted to stop the pain of being so miserable. My doctor wanted me to go to a specialist - and one of the women from the congregation told me I shouldn't. She thought that I would get "brainwashed" and "leave the truth". She told me not to take antidepressants because drugs were a doorway for the demons to come through.
Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I did go to the specialist and I did go on antidepressants. Even though I started feeling better, I would still have bad thoughts, but not as severe as killing anyone or hurting anyone (except myself). This woman, who had been my "friend" and who I asked to keep what I told her confidential, gossiped about me to everyone at the Kingdom Hall. People avoided me like I had the plague. I would say hello to someone and get ignored. I would say hello to someone else and get ignored. I would try to join a conversation, only to have them turn their backs and walk away from me.
Eventually, after many weeks of being treated worse than dog crap on the bottom of their shoes, I ended up in the mothers' room in tears. I was just repeating to myself that I wished everyone would just "go away". A sister at the KH overheard me and started a new rumor about me. By the time it got back to me (after being reported to the elders) it had grown into me threatening to get a gun and kill everyone at the KH. An elder phoned me and said that if I did say that, he would have to turn me in to the police for uttering death threats. I was mortified... and I felt like I could never show my face there again. Like, why did that woman lie about me? Why would she, knowing how sick I had been, say something so cruel about me and try to get me in trouble? It all went back to the fact that I disregarded "counsel" about taking care of my mental health and well being. They thought I was demonized. They even sent someone to my house (without my knowledge) to check if I had demonized items in my house. They asked me if I had been to any garage sales where I could have bought something demonized. (Incidentally, the "friend" I originally confided in, an elder's wife, is the biggest garage sale whore in town. She's out every possible weekend garage sale shopping. How does she manage to not get anything demonized?)
That experience - my 8 months in an emotional and mental HELL - showed me some very important things. First of all, that as much as JWs like to think of themselves as "having love among themselves", in reality they don't do any such thing. Secondly, I realized that unless you were in perfect health and able to perform the tasks that JWs require, they will eat you alive like vultures hovering over a near dead animal.
And I'm one of the lucky ones. I left because I realized that I would not be alive much longer if I stayed with the JWs. Leaving was a matter of survival, and I can NEVER go back. EVER. There have been others who tried to stay, tried to put up with all the crap that JWs put on them in their fragile mental and emotional states, and they ended up committing suicide because it was too much for them.
Take care of yourself, because JWs won't. Their interest in you is purely mercenary - they want you to join so that someone else will work for free for the Watchtower publishing company. The carrot they hold out - of Living Forever In Paradise On Earth™ - is as rotten and moldy and stale as it can possibly get. Try establishing some boundaries with them. Tell them that you don't want to go door-to-door... that it isn't your thing... watch them get agitated that you are resisting the programming. Stick to that plan and see how long the "love" lasts.
Again (because it's important) take care of yourself.
Narrow - I agree with all the other posters who stated that you need to get some professional help and that you should DEFINITELY do some more research before getting any more involved in the witnesses. I am certainly not making this post to encourage you to continue studying (I think you'd be much better off if you stopped). But I also wanted to let you know that my brother is a witness in good standing and he cuts, too (he has not been abused) and the elders know about it. He has not been disciplined in any way by the congregation. He refuses to get professional help for the cutting (although he is getting better on his own over time and my mom discusses it regularly with her therapist). It's definitely not a normal activity, but it's not something you can't overcome, and the fact that you WANT to get help is a big first step.
