by lola28 54 Replies latest jw friends
I'm glad for you that you did what felt right for you. I understand why you want to spare your friends grief. Yes, JWs will shun you if you are df'd, but many of them take no pleasure in it and are still real people underneath that "new personality".
You're a sweet girl, lola. Glad the thing turned out the way you wanted it to.
I know that many of you will not understand why I would lie to spare the feelings of people that would shun me simply for having a different view point, and all I can say is that I'm not like them. I won't cause anyone I love pain if I can avoid it, even when I know that they won't do the same for me. I hope you understand but if you don't that's okay. I did what I thought was best.
That is truly the moral high ground. You have displayed a kind of love that most witnesses cannot/will not ever understand. Perhaps you were among those who actually learned some good things along the way to take away from your experience. I don't know if you consider yourself a Christian or religious now - but if you do, may God bless you for such unselfish actions.
Truly - the best Jehovah's witnesses are former Jehovah's witnesses.
Jeff
Your a good person, you've thought deeper into things and rather than make your own life better you've chosen to make sure others are happy first. This decision can't of been easy since the door is just there but good on ya
Lola - ya done great girl! I didn't think you owed anyone any explanation, but just for the record I'm totally on the same page as you on this one. everyone has their own circumstances. I have one person, my grandma, who is THE reason I am quietly fading instead of DAing. I know a lot of people here don't agree with that and I don't care. It's my decision, right OR wrong. You sounded like you were really strong.
(((((((hug to you)))))))))
Good for you Lola--being considerate to others is most important. However I would like to say that love can be shown in a variety of forms.
When I left about a half dozen others have left as well and all of us in a different way. Some much like the way you did, others like myself had to stand up and say this is wrong. Yes it's caused much pain to people but growth can only happen thru pain. Their pain is not because of my actions but because of the belief system they have.
So everybody has a different way and purpose and that's a beautiful thing. I hope the best for you!
I guess that you know that I'm not going to agree with your decision. I just can't. Somebody has got to take a stand. How do you know if your loved ones are waiting for someone to take a stand against the religion? How will you ever know if you could of made just one of their lives better?
I know you did what you felt was best, and there are a lot of "what ifs", so you stuck with what was safe.
My kids are shunning me now; but if I go back into that religion just to make my girls happy, I won't be happy. Either way, it's depressing. I have two daughters that hate the religion and two daughters that love it. I guess that I better be happy with what I've got, and hope that in time (before I die) that the twins will come back to their senses.
I want you to know that I had reservations about posting this.
Lola,
We all have to find our own path when dealing with this religion. One could argue that you simply used a form of 'theocratic strategy' to evade the elders for now. I hope that you can use this time to try and help the JW people you care about to see their way out of the organization. If you go to http://www.freeminds.org, you will find an article called >"How I helped my Family out of the Watchtower." When you are on the site, click on the blue arrow just left of the article title. The article may give you some good ideas on how you can reach the hearts of the women you care about. It is structered on how a JW man helped his family, but, some of the ideas might be adapted to your situation. Anyway, keep fading, as it is the best way ... if the elders will let you do it. - Jim Whitney
Hi lola,
You have done nothing wrong, you have shown love for those ladies, far more than they would have shown for you if you had da'd. I for one admire you for that, and I wish you well with your fading
I think that you did well. I feel where you're coming from as I do not want to hurt anyone's feelings either. It's just ashamed that people don't understand our feelings either. You're damned if you and damned if you don't. I hope the best to you.
I know that many of you will not understand why I would lie to spare the feelings of people that would shun me simply for having a different view point, and all I can say is that I'm not like them.
Perfectly understandable Lola.......I'd do the same thing.....
