Not to quote pop psychology, but there is a saying that depression is anger turned inwards. I used to work in psychiatry and in my experience that is true sometimes (not always). I was a depressed pioneer. Besides the obvious depressing nature of the lifestyle itself, there can be supressed anger associated with hypocrisy, inconsistencies, misogynistic teachings, and just basically teachings that don't make sense. JWs are taught that being angry about any of those things, let alone the independent thought required to get angry about them in the first place, is terribly wrong and will lead to death. I was repeatedly told Jehovah commands us to feel joy about the ministry, so if we are sad about it there is something wrong with us, we are weak in our spirituality, etc. What else is a good JW to do with these thoughts except supress them, and what else is she to do with the resulting feelings except stuff them inside? Those are probably things you already realize.
You should not come to sweeping conclusions based on a short time of researching, especially if the conclusions could mean your eternal life. However, that means you aren't qualified to call them b.s. either. (Especially since the conclusions you are referring to are cumulatively based upon years and years of research by some very intelligent people.)
Keep researching, keep thinking, keep using logic, keep having courage to do the right thing even if it means going against the grain. Life is too precious to waste!