Intro (page 3)

juni

Good evening Mavie.

You're experiencing a lot of emotions. That .1% that is eating away at you concerns your wife who is very dear to you and whom you love very much. What a wonderful relationship to have!

I'm speaking from my personal experience with clinical depression and anxiety. I have been under care w/meds and counseling for many years. It takes time to get on the right med for you and sometimes after a period of time it doesn't work anymore. It is such a drawn out process - between getting used to the medications and dealing w/how bad you feel - sometimes you just want to give up.

My heart goes out to your wife AND you because this is a medical problem that is very wearisome. My husband has tried his best to be a support, but it is very difficult at times.

You are not alone in being denied the understanding and love from your elders, etc. They are not trained in this area. For many, many years JWs were not to go to a psychiatrist. But since this mental health issue has become more frequent, the Society has loosened up on its direction in this area.

PLEASE, be a comfort to your wife. You do what you have to do. Perhaps this might mean stepping down from serving as a MS. This would take a lot of congregational responsibility off of you. Those members who are reasonable will understand and respect you for your decisions. You would be seen as a loving husband who wants to be there for his wife.

And about your wife feeling relief after she stepped down from pioneering - when a person experiences clinical depression it doesn't take much "pressure" to push them further into feelings of despair. She wants to please Jehovah and it is emphasised by the Society that if we can that we should pioneer. It is not a cure-all. No amount of meetings, field service, etc. will take away the pain of depression. Just as a diabetic needs his insulin, a clinically depressed person needs professional help and understanding from those that are close to them.

I hope you make it your resolve to stick to your wife and not listen to people who have no clue about her needs.

The best to you both.

Juni

freedomlover

that meeting will be interesting no doubt. let us know how it goes. Your wife should not be made to feel "bad" in any way. And your priority is with your wife - just like you've been doing.

Stick close to eachother. Talk to you wife and let her know how you feel about things. You never know, she may be having the same questions as you.

I think it's wonderful that you've never been afraid to question. But you hit the nail on the head.......the consequences of asking questions. That is the dilemma we have all faced here. It sounds like you are on the same path.......

-I look forward to hearing how this journey goes for you both.

Lady Liberty

Dear Mavie,

What is the possibility that she has already some sort of knowledge that things don't add up?? Just a thought. All I know is that if I had to keep bottled up what I know from my mate, I would go crazy!! Maybe she doesn't know anything. What do you think?

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

mavie

Lady Liberty,

I *know* she still believes 100%. She is just hurt by what imperfect elders have done.

However, she is a very independant woman, as evidenced by her willingness to get a tattoo. Even after I mentioned she could be disfellowshipped if it was ever seen!

I'm just going to let things play out and see where the chips fall.

It is very confusing right now. All I know is I need to be there for her.

daniel-p

"Most of the ad hominem attacks on this board are childish and plain stupid."

What seem to you as attacks are people who have been hurt badly by the WTS. Like you, I thought most of what I saw were childish and silly arguments by disturbed people. We have all had our own experiences in the organization - some of us handle it in different ways.
6 months ago I was in your position - without the depressed wife - but I was a very active servant as well with many privileges. My first post - I had no idea what I was doing.... Click on my name and then click on "post history" where you can read everything I've posted since day 1.

And to answer your question "why am I here?": the same reason all of us came here. Stick around.

Lady Liberty

Dear Mavie,

Well, our hats go off to you! As said before, were glad your here.

Sincerely,

Lady Liberty

mavie

dan-p, I read your first post. Our experiences sound very similiar.

I'm curious if your wife now knows? How did she react?

PaNiCAtTaCk

Hi, glad to have you here. We have some things in common. I also suffer from anxiety just like your wife, hence the name, panicattack:) I felt the same as you. I felt if there was a problem with any of the societys teachings, it would fall into the .1 percent range. Unfortunately when I started researching for myself, deep into the literature, I found that the number got alot bigger. Unfortunately for you, you have to believe 100 percent of what they teach as truth, to be a JW. Just like your wife, when I stepped down from my responsibilities in the hall, my anxiety was almost gone! Even though I felt alot better, I also found out that all my friendships in the hall were based on my performance as a JW. My wife and I both walked away from the org with our 6 year old and our sanity. We have been very happy with our decision and with all the free time:) I also got my first tattoo 3 months ago and I love it! I look forward to your next post

What-A-Coincidence

hi mavie

take your time with all of the information you find here. It took me (x elder x bethelite) quite a while to get use to the information on here. But anyway, glad you found your way here.

Bethel itself has cases of mental illness within itself. They are hush hush for obvious reasons. Honestly, they have improved over the years. Before they would say you were demonized or you did something evil. Now they have (in writing at least) admitted that it may be due to a medical issue. Usually old school elders do not understand and especially if they have not dealt with these issues.

your 1st responsibility is your wife, as they say, Jah provides, Jah will provide the needed help in the congo. ALL THE ELDERS ARE SEEING IS THAT THEY WILL HAVE MORE WORK TO DO ...or at least finding someone to fill your shoes.

when i stepped down, wow, it was a load off, preparing for all the talks in the hall is a major stressor, thus my health was declining

and now I feel much better!!!!

WAC - xElder xBethelite

Intro

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