Something I want to tell you apostates part II

by LeftBehind 62 Replies latest jw friends

  • LeftBehind
    LeftBehind

    Hi there. To those that remember me I came here to tell you something. What I want to tell you is that you guys were right. I have been researching the WT since I briefly posted on this board and I have come to the conclusion that the WT is nothing but a man made organization. I have been researching the WT non stop since December. It's become almost an obsession. I even used my vacation time from work to research. I decided if I was really going to find out the truth I could not use the WT literature as a guide. At first I used only secular resources when it came to researching 607. I cannot believe I never saw it before but the WT does not have it right. I tried and tried so hard to make it work with my calculator. Then there is the man made rules that have no scriptual backing. Like having to turn in time. Something as simple as that. I could go on and on for hours. What was a real turning point for me is when I finally accepted the faithful and discreet slave really does not speak for Jehovah. I am no longer sure what I believe anymore where God or the Bible is concerned. I am seeing everything is a whole new light now and now that my eyes are open so to speak there are some very disturbing things in the Bible particulary the old testament. That is a whole other topic though. The best part to come out of all this is that my brother and I are back in each others lives. I am so ashamed that I ever shunned him. I let mere men tell me who to associate with. I have quit the meetings and I have not been in nearly a month. Family, friends, and elders are coming by the house nonstop. My brother has coached me on how to act as to avoid being disfellowshipped. Still its just a matter of time before I am. I am not going to attend the memorial and it's just a matter of time before someone sees me associating with my brother. I think they suspect me of apostacy already. I slipped up once and asked an elder where it says in the Bible we should turn in time. After what went down with my brother they know what to look for and have apostate radar. I am getting it from all sides but I am holding up surprisingly well. At first I thought I was going to lose my mind but I have adjusted. I am not ready to get disfellowshipped yet. Hopefully I can fade but I am not going to hold my breath and I am not sure how much longer I can keep my month shut. I want to share everything I have learned with my family. If I can see the light about the WT then anyone can. So that is what is happening in my life. I no longer consider myself to be a Jehovahs Witness. It's been a very short time but I cannot imagine going back. I credit this board with opening my eyes. I read every post to me and am extremely glad that I did.

  • gumby
    gumby

    Congradulations LeftBehind!

    At first I thought I was going to lose my mind but I have adjusted.

    So did most of us who firmly believed this was gods chosen people, and found out it wasn't.

    All that you have stated about your feelings is all to familiar with most of us here. You have much to learn yet and it takes time....so don't fret too much

    Be thankful you have your brother as many go it alone in their family and it can be trying.

    I'd read a bit more on how to go about throwing all this at your family. If you do and they are not receptive, don't push them......it won't do any good and only alienate you from them much worse. Many are sauccesful at getting their families out...don't get me wrong....just make sure you read the situation well and do some reading on "how to witness to witness families" as there is much on this subject.

    You did good, and your story was an inspiration

    Gumby

  • LeftBehind
    LeftBehind
    I'd read a bit more on how to go about throwing all this at your family. If you do and they are not receptive, don't push them......it won't do any good and only alienate you from them much worse. Many are sauccesful at getting their families out...don't get me wrong....just make sure you read the situation well and do some reading on "how to witness to witness families" as there is much on this subject.

    I am being very tight lipped for now so i won't be df'd. All they know is that I no longer want to go to meetings. I plan to wait.

  • Carmel
    Carmel

    Glad we could introduce you to "new light". Hang in there, Dfing isn't the end of the world, rather, the begining!

    i wish you well

    carmel

  • misspeaches
    misspeaches

    Oh wow Left Behind. What a turmoil of emotions you must be going through right now. I'm so glad you were able to reconcile with your brother.

    I can so relate with your reactions as well. At first I was in disbelief, the more I researched the more I realised there wasn't anything truth. I felt like my world was crumbling down around me. Everything I believed in just didn't hold credability anymore. I needed to find out what I could believe in. I'm still on that journey and suspect its going to be a long one.

    The good news is you will get much support from the board members here. Perhaps your brother may be interested in signing up too!

    Welcome aboard hon.

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    What gumby said...

    Life's a journey... remember... you're in a different place, at a different time than your family. Eliminate the Dub mindset...that now you have to "save" them with all you've learned...it's ok to just be quiet and live...with no explanation.

    Hang in there.

    u/d

  • carla
    carla

    Congratulations on all your hard research work!

  • MerryMagdalene
    MerryMagdalene

    Condolances on losing your religion and having a hard road ahead of you and Congratulations on your new won freedom...to think, to feel, to explore, and to share

    ~Merry

  • JamesThomas
    JamesThomas

    Dear LeftBehind,

    Congratulations!

    I am so ashamed that I ever shunned him.

    Don't beat yourself up. You were doing what you felt was right. Be kind and gentle with yourself, because this will be an emotionally trying time.

    I suggest taking lots of quiet walks in nature.

    j

  • ICBehindtheCurtain
    ICBehindtheCurtain

    ((((((((LeftBehind)))))))), I am so glad to hear that you have opened your eyes to the truth about the "Truth", it's great that you have reconciled with your brother, family is the most important thing in our lives and no one should ever keep us from them. I wish you much success in your journey there is so much more, that you will learn, read, read, read, and you will be prepared to help others open their eyes. My husband and I have helped about 10 people open their eyes and it has been the greatest thing for them, some of those were suffering from anxiety and depression and those things are in their past, now they see life as a whole new experience, very positive, it's great!!!

    Much love and light to you,

    IC

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