G'day Bible Imbibers,
I had a hard day today installing hot and cold water and drainage to an old railway carriage for a woman named Sue. Sue is an absolute mess and very hard to work for. Seven years ago her only son died in a blizzard while skiing at Thredbo resort, several hours drive from here. After a five day search, Jamie's frozen body was found under a rock ledge, his snowboard wedged down hard. Then six months ago Sue's husband suddenly dropped dead in her arms from a heart attack.So Sue's a mess. When her son died she climbed Mt Whistler in Canada and spead his ashes from the summit of his favourite mountain. When Eric died she went to pieces and is seriously contemplating suicide once she finishes the building project they started together. Sue has has had every bible vulture there is trying to grab her to their fold. She knows I'm a former JW but has little understanding of what that means. Lately she's been listening to bible tapes. She is on a cocktail of drugs and goes from bossy bitc h to smiling pussy cat in an instant. Today Sue came out demanding to know what a caboose is (this while we're standing in an old country railway carriage Sue: "Hey, I've just been reading my bible. What's a caboose?" Unc: "? A caboose is usually the end carriage of a railway train." Sue: No in the bible! What's a caboose?" Unc: Thinks "buggered if I know - the last camel?" says: "Well, I'd need to see that in 'context™' Tell you what, you get your bible, I'll get mine and we'll check it out." Sue: pphhht!! yeah right, you've got a bible lol Unc: "yep got one in the car - never go anywhere without it lol" (I only had it there so in my lunch break, if the mood takes me or if the catharsis rises, I can scribble half meaningful posts to golf, gumby or greendawn - oh the burden of internet posting). Unc : "If you look up the scripture, I'll compare it with my modern english translation" (the wonderful 'bendy' NWT lol) Sue: "It's here in Judges ....19 .. Later her master rose up" Unc : "hang on .. what verse is that?" Sue: "27! ........ Later her master rose up in the morning and opened the doors of the house and went out to get on his way, and, look! the woman, his caboose, fallen at the entrance Unc: "Hang on it say's concubine here" I examine her bible - "it says concubine there too." Sue: Shrugs, "same thing! ..and, look! the woman, his caboose, fallen at the entrance of the house with her hands upon the threshold! So he said to her: “Rise up, and let us go.” But there was no one answering. At that the man took her upon the ass and rose up and went to his place." Unc: "Sue it says concubine" Sue: "well what's a concubine?" Unc: "it's a porcupine with out the prickly bits .." Sue: "gives threatening gesture" Unc: "it's an aditional wife - polygamy was very popular in patriarchal times. Solomon is said to have had around 1100 concubines." Sue: "What for?" Unc: Jeez woman use your imagination lol
...then we had a brief conversation about the ancient 'marriage arrangements™' and masturbation instructions she'd been reading (the story of Onan) followed by.. Sue: I really like the story of Sampson. That Delilah was a real bitch! Sampson was so great, especially when he killed Goliath! Unc: what the?