Unclebruce..can we start over?

by mentalist 80 Replies latest jw friends

  • KW13

    aha, so were getting phoney BBQ's over here

    Neighbours, damn i get sick of seeing that...BBC 1 everyday for all the home sick criminals

  • Frog
    Not meaning to turn this into a flame war, but what did we do to deserve "Neighbours", this torture comes on TV everyday I think!

    Ballistic, i'll have you know that aside from uranium and coal 'Neighbours' is out next most successful dirty export lol!...actually truth be told no-one down this way actually watches that trash, bar a few sad few...only reason they keep making new episodes of that shite show is cause you Brits keep lapping it up!...you guys even run omnibuses of it at the weekends lol!

  • Dr Jekyll
    Dr Jekyll

    I'm sitting here desperatly tryintg to think of some good tv that we sent the poms... Erhhhh.... and I can't


    Wait, we gave you Farscape and Dame Edna and go on secretly you loved Cell Block H

  • KW13

    Its got that feel to it...of fakeness. I wonder sometimes why does that and Home and Away keep going. We need to hunt down the people who watch it

  • Dr Jekyll
    Dr Jekyll
    Its got that feel to it...of fakeness. I wonder sometimes why does that and Home and Away keep going. We need to hunt down the people who watch it

    Go watch a District or circuit convention drama in OZ, its like watching neighbours, you keep expecting Mrs Mangle and bouncer to turn up.

  • KW13

    ROFL, same fakeness

  • moggy lover
    moggy lover

    Hey! I just thought of sumthin' Mebbe just mebbe we should'nt win too many more gold medals at the Comm games and show up the Poms.

    Tony Blair may just invade us instead of Wherever

    Suppose we could tell 'im we already speak the lingo Thank u very much.


  • Dr Jekyll
    Dr Jekyll

    British Army?! Pah!

    We'll just get some sheila to shout out "So where the bloody hell are you?" at 'em and they'll get all offended and go back to England in a huff!

  • jgnat

    You guys....so modest. What of Kath and Kim? www.kathandkim.com

  • unclebruce

    Unclebruce can we jump start Jehover?

    The trouble is; Australians love live programs - characters rather than pretty boys, no canned laughter, intelligent clever dicks and dicklesses who can just make it up as they go along .. things that don't translate to a more sober world (Roy and HG Slaven, the big gig, the glasshouse, doug anthony all stars, the sandman, flacco, goodnews week, CNNNN etc..Although most appear at the Farnborough Comedy festival ...go hughesy! - get those commonwealth weightlifters diving off the 10 metre board

    These guys kick ass. Being former choir boys they sing like pavoroti, are heavily ant-fascist and felled all before them at festivals all over the place but are barely recognised beyong our shores. They were banned in England for lyrics that had "Kristna and his shotgun join the IRA to make the pommies pay" and have sinse gone on to produce their own popular TV shows here. Ladies and gentlemen, in Australias defence, I give you the peoples answer to totalitarian religion and politics, - the Doug Anthony all Stars (DA was a right wing polie here)

    D.A.A.S Capital

    Doug Anthony All Stars - Go To Church We should all go back to church cos they've hit the market place.
    They're getting fashionable ideas from back issues of "The Face".
    They've bought part shares in the pill, porn videos,
    And guns, GUNS, GUNS!
    I LIKE IT!!
    Old concepts are boring the designer mass is fun.
    They've changed the local parishes into saunas, gyms and spas.
    The Eucharist and the Convenant is now a mini-bar.
    They've bought a New York decorator to turn cherubs into fairies,
    The body and the blood to caviar and Bloody Marys.
    While the font is a Jacuzzi and holy water's Perrier.
    Cos the Vatican has found a way to make religion pay.
    If you've soiled your conviction, sold your soul,
    All you need is absolution, get some good Rock n Roll.

    Let my people go, go, go to church - listen to the preacher.
    Go to church - he'll teach you more than Fredrick Neitzsche.
    Go to church - where you can let your hair hang down, down, down.
    No need to be embarrassed cause there's no-one else around.

    The parish priests are trying to make lay-people of your daughters,
    Installing water beds as their sacrificial altars.
    Parents are concerned but nothing could be safer,
    Cos your girl won't get pregnant if she's chewing on the wafer.
    And while I'm on the topic did I forget to mention?
    The Brother Joe rides piggyback with dubious intentions.
    And Amy Grant's has songs that have you coming in your socks,
    While pre pubescent school boys try to pillage her poor-box.
    The flying nun with see through frocks and sexy lingerie,
    Now they've turned the sacred sacrament into a cabaret.

    Let my people go, go, go to church - that's what my mother used to say
    Go to church - or you will rue the day
    Go to church - where you can see all the pretty people.
    If you've never been before it's the building with the steeple.

    The mass was best in Latin, they never should have banned it,
    It doesn't make sense now that we can understand it.
    Socer uno servo fetum, Lefevre's not a faggot.
    But if he don't take care he'll get laid, he'll get laid,
    He'll get laid off like Jimmy Swaggert.
    Admission is free if you're certain of your fate,
    If not I recommend some big cash on the plate,
    Or get a damn good lawyer to change the ref's decision,
    Cos I'm stuck with going to church like I'm stuck with circumcision.

    Let my people go, go, go to church - cause you might find favor.
    Go to church - throw your arms to the savior.
    Go to church - it's getting warm and I can hear that final bell,
    You'd better move your feet there's no fire escape in Hell.
    Come on all you sexually impotent, drunken, drug-pushing
    scumbags.... Go to church!

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