We have a friend in need

by TheListener 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • Legolas
    I think I am going to write to Dr. Phil, because I can't afford therapy I believe I desperately need

    Oh gawd how I would love to see Dr.Phil talk about this..It would help so many people!

  • Cellist

    Auld Soul, we know how much it hurts when long-time friends turn their back on you. There is hope that they'll see through it too, someday.

    You're presence has definitely been missed here on the board. ((((Hugs))))


  • GoingGoingGone


    Friends are so important. And yes, it's earth-shattering when you realize how little 'friendship' really means and how much the JWs are influenced by what someone else tells them to do... someone they don't even know.

    This is one of the hardest things for me, too. For me, I think it's more than just losing every friend I've ever had, it's also the realization that I mean so little to my friends... I'm not DF'd, but I am already being avoided (bad association, I'm sure...) But the thing is, I know for a fact that my becoming inactive and leaving the JWs is very upsetting to my friends, because they DO care about me... they think I'm doomed now, they think that they can't hang out with me like they did before, and the fact that I'm still the same person seems to make no difference. It's a lot to wrap your head around.

    I have no answers really, sorry...... but I've decided that I need to just move on and stop dwelling on it. (And if I figure out a way to follow my own advice, I'll be sure to let you know!) I can't change them, and as much as it hurts, there is nothing I can say or do to make them change their minds. Just writing this is depressing..........

    Hang in there.


  • TooOpinionated

    I know I don't say much, but I always look for your posts. You don't realize how many people on this board you have helped get through some tough times. I'm here for you now!

  • troubled mind
    troubled mind

    (((( AuldSoul )))) You should be called Gentle Soul , I find you to be a very caring , loyal , loving person. I have been on here since last November, and you have always been one that I have enjoyed reading posts from. Very insightful, balanced and caring....... I would like to say, I have appreciated that so much ! A few years ago I came to the realization that my supposed "friends " really had no clue to what that term means.I have not been Da'd or Df'd, it was just a conclusion I had to face when I went through a personal tragedy. I had to come to face the facts ,I could only really rely upon myself, and a very few family members . My misguided notions that my witness "family" would rally to my side in time of need was dashed to pieces. It was probably the hardest time of my life , but looking back it was a life experience that has truly opened my heart and eyes . It was painful for quite a while ,but I have grown past it now and am happy to have a better perspective on life . I wish you only the best on your new adventure in life . It has changed course yes ,but you will be blessed with more new interesting friends I'm sure. In time you will look back and have good memories of your past friends. Those that are true will come back to you, those that are not well frankly just don't deserve you. Funny, I have the same thought as you about the letter to Dr.Phil .In fact I have a letter ready to be sent, in it I suggest for him to read some of the posts here on JWD to get an understanding of how determental the JW organization is on peoples lives .If I get a respose I'll pass it on to you , maybe he gives group rates !!!!!!

  • delilah

    Auld Soul, my thoughts are with you friend. Such as we are, we're your family ....and we care for you more than you may know. Unfortunately, when we leave the borg, we also leave many family members, and close friends, behind, as they chose to continue blindly believing, and following the WTBTS.

    It's a shame, when we know that we were better friends to many of those we have left behind, than they ever were to us. Hugs and best wishes to you....cheer up....

  • Narkissos


    Yes this is one very tough thing, more than most people would imagine.

    Even when you "knew" what would happen and triggered the whole process yourself (as I did too) it comes as a shock when it really happens. I can still remember the first shunning look (from a close friend who happened to speak to me again later, but just couldn't do so in the presence of other JWs).

    Fwiw I spent a few weeks just sleeping, dreaming about people, waking up and crying me to sleep again.

    You will find your way. Or, rather, life will find its way within you and around you.

    Take care.

  • atypical

    AuldSoul, you have many friends and fans on this board. You have been one of my favorite posters since I started coming to jwd. I admire your courage and wish you the best.

  • fullofdoubtnow

    Auld Soul, you are in my thoughts

  • candidlynuts

    hugs Auld Soul

    i dont have any good advice. i'll tell you what i tell myself, "hang in there, today is just one day, tommorow may be just as hard but next year who knows!!"

    so HANG IN THERE!!! you are appreciated here!

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