Slap Uncle Bruce Here ~ Weak Poll #1

by unclebruce 64 Replies latest jw friends

  • unclebruce

    G'day rude people,

    Some of you are just now learning what long-suffering™ older posters have known all along – I can be very annoying! My rising paranoia tells me enemies are setting up all around ... Golf keeps whacking me with his #12 iron, the elders keep threatening to take me to the backroom™, and even the mild mannered caveman comes out to kick me in the go-nuts

    I came here recently after a long absence, happy at last to have a permanent office where I can access JWD 24/7. I missed my friends here and returned with feelings of deep affection and love in my heart. And then you rude posters treat me like a piece of sheep™. Well it's not fair I tell ya and I ain't goanna take it any more! From now on anyone who sneaks into one of my lovely threads to make some snide bane remark about me posting too much, too loud, too hyper, too drunk or too me is gonna get ignored! Yes, you heard right – I'm getting back into shunning big time! Yeah brother Gumby, I know I said shunning was for cowards and unfeeling brain dead trolls but this place is turning nasty and I'm making exceptions!

    This is the only thread where I will not be shunning people. So if you have a beef to fry with me, BBQ it here or forever hold your breath

    unclebruce of indoor fireworks class

    unclebruces week poll #1:

    When we meat at an apostate BBQ which of these will you do:

    • jump me from a tree (girls only please)
    • thump me from a long run?
    • stick a sausage where no light shines
    • smile politely and think “wanker”
    • shake my hand while forking me in the butt.
    • Shun me
    • offer me a free home bible study
    • other, please specify;______________________________________________________

    To the rude recalcitrant rump of JWD: write any more rude rubbish to this righteously outraged fluff poster and you ruffians will rue the day you ruffled my rucksack! And if anyone else has similar mudmen mumbling in their mosh-pit I'm just a post away with my bag of sky-rockets.

    regards, unclebruce rump rocket insertion service.

    rude / rud / adj. ruder, rudest. 1. impolite: a rude reply 2. uncouth; without learning, or good taste. 3. rough; harsh 4. roughly built or formed: a rude house.

    NOTE: This thread was started in an effort to make my poisonality a non-issue and keep other threads as pure and lovely as the driven snow jobs of a fresh watchtower™


    I think you've been toiling under the hot Australian sun way too long....


  • serendipity

    HI Uncle Bruce,

    My answer depends on your marital status.

  • Scully

    Other..... pinch his bum!

  • ozziepost

    Now wher'd ya get the idea of a poll from?

  • prophecor
    offer me a free home bible study

    Yes I will, because you definitely need Jebus

  • tetrapod.sapien

    lol unc, that's a sweet write up.

    i am going for:

    other: we could sneak off and smoke a few bowls together, and drink some absenthe and recite some beat poetry, and maybe drop

    some acid, and come back and

    laugh our asses off and trip together and sleep in the ditch together.

    and then we could go for breakfast, like a real couple like, and then you could drop me off at the airport.

    or we could pick up a few chicks who are into partying, and take them back to your s & m chamber in the woods by hobbition. hehe.

    you know: the golden rule. do unto others as you know they want done unto them. lol.

    and then we could go on geraldo and morey together, and ultimately aim for 20/20, because you know, the sky's the limit.

    but don't worry about the airport, now that i think about it. because i am going to ride my bike to australia instead.

    i hear that with some of this here stuff they call faith, even just the size of a mustard grain, i could move mountains.

    so, i am hoping, that i will be able to ride on water too, and maybe not worry about any snake venom for a while. sea snakes that is.

    cuz i hear they're everywhere.

    don't worry about your detractors. they know not what they do lord.


  • misspeaches

    Aw now why would we want to slap our Uncle Bruce! You silly billy gum drops we luv you here!

  • seeitallclearlynow

    Don't know what you're talking about...I think you're very cool.

    I love it when you're present anywhere.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    other, please specify;______________________________________________________

    Hand you your very own Apostate T-shirt emblazoned with "Certified Apostabubba"

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