How DARE he?! This is why I'm still Single!!!

by stillAwitness 51 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Sunnygal41
    Anyone else ever have that same problem? That those in the outside world just don't get it?

    I have. I've been with Dean for over 5 years now.........hehe.........he's a throwback to the whole Rebel Without A Cause mindset, and he keeps me on my toes and I have kicked his butt out more than once, but............he is extremely understanding and supportive of the fact that my family shuns me and feels the whole disfellowshipping rule is non-Christian as he is a Born-Again Christian himself..........but, there are times when I share "stuff" from being a JW Cult member for 25 years, and he has a hard time being times he's shown the "get over it" mentality...........but, for the most part he's supportive. I'm blessed in that aspect of his personality...........


  • Sunnygal41

    I must also add that this whole emotional support from a partner is a major issue as my ex husband of 20 years was incapable of being emotionally supportive to me. Shortly before our breakup, he was finally realizing how deeply his inability to connect with me emotionally had damaged me and the relationship, but, it was too little too late............I say now, after all I've experienced, that it is far better to remain single, meaning: not having a steady and livein guy, than to have someone steady and there, who has no concept of what being emotionally supportive to their partner means.

  • ballistic

    I think this is only a small fraction to do with the guy's maturity and more to do with people not only not understanding our *previous life* but having no concept of it whatsoever.

    When I started telling people about my past, I was expecting more of a reaction because in my mind, keeping silent about it for several years, it had gotten blow out of proportion. When I discovered people didn't even know what the Jehovah's Witnesses were or just replied "really" kind of like it was nothing important, then I started to see things slightly differently myself.

    The other thing about men not growing up, I really don't know what you mean,

    .... now what can I play with now?

  • daystar

    What wanderlustguy said, x10.

  • Sunnygal41
    The other thing about men not growing up, I really don't know what you mean,

    .... now what can I play with now?

    lmao @ BALL!!!

  • freedom96

    One of the reasons I am happy my wife is an ex-jw too. We can totally relate with each other.

  • stillAwitness

    In reference to MsMcDucket's response, actually he does not believe in God, well not God god but Allah or something or other. Come to think of it, it seems I am doing what I have promised myself I would not do anymore and that is rely on someone else to basically give me a pat on the back and say 'everything's gonna be okay' when I should be doing that on my own. *sigh*

  • Brigid


    <<Then he went on about how ex-jw's allowed their minds to controlled and now they want someone to blame.>>

    People who've never experienced the hardwiring from birth that any cult-like experience gives on is never going to completely understand.

    That's why this (this site, everyone here) is so important. It's not about "blaming" others. It's about connecting with others who know just know what you've experienced. There's no way anyone else on the planet is ever going to "get it". I'm glad for them--they've just had a different life experience. We have ours.

    Just keep coming back here. It's too difficult to explain to anyone else "out there".



  • LDH

    I must be getting old.

    When the young pups like Super Becka and Stilla (limited experience and bizarre situations) talk about how 'immature' men are, I kinda bristle. You don't really have anything to base "men" on other than a couple of random situations,gals, and let's be frank you are both virgins, yes? So you really don't know how men operate all THAT much. It is also a mark of immaturity to make a blanket observation about half of the world's population based on your limited experiences.

    It still hurts a lot though because what we all go through or have been through is a very serious matter and I felt like he was poking fun.

    You felt this way because you have been indoctrinated to believe that you "are a spectacle to the world" on Jesus' behalf. The truth is, JWs are a "spectacle to the world" because they are so freaking WIERD!!!!!

    Somewhere back on the beginning of this forum I wrote about an experience I had with my husband while at a black tie dinner. Somehow we got on the subject of religion, and he spoke about how I was a cult member (ex) blah blah blah and how embarrassed he was etc etc. He wasn't doing it to be mean, he was just telling the truth. It felt like I was on the hot seat, people were saying, "I never woulda guessed!!! I'm glad the lights were dim because my face was burning. I didn't understand that they WERE being supportive by saying I was normal acting.

    Even though embarrassed, I stayed strong, voiced the fact that I was born into it and had no choice. Also told all in attendance that my parents HAVE managed to stay married for 40 years, which was more than I could say for anyone at the table. THWAAAAAACK! (thanks UB). Everyone has an Achilles heel. You know what your is now, so make sure you are not SUPER SENSITIVE to it.

    The point I'm making is, be prepared to have others (even those who love you) not understand completely the mindset and culture you have lived. He's probably a great guy and you're just projecting.


    Loves Men (Even hardheaded ones!) Class

  • ballistic

    that told 'em! lol

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