How have you coped since leaving?

by SickofLies 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • SickofLies

    I noticed that many different people have coped in many different ways, I believe this reflects the fact we all have left or been kick out for different reasons. What have you done since leaving? Have you joined another church, are you athesitc? Do you celibrate holidays? How did you go about making new friends?

  • jt stumbler
    jt stumbler

    I don't know what to believe anymore. I do know that I want nothing to do with organized religion.

  • snarf

    I pretty much did everything they told me not to while I was in. I went out and got drunk, went to a strip club to see what they were like, got a tattoo, then got another one, met a guy in the Army, went to a few motorcylce rallies and got involved with JWD.

  • unique1

    I already had "worldly" friends. I don't go to any other church or belong to another religion. I cope by drinking. Beer and wine are great relaxing tools.

  • kls

    Hi SOL and welcome It takes along time to adjust to a normal life or to just fit in to society and for everyone it's different. Me , it tooks years before i could celebrate Holidays or go to a family wordly funtion and not have this huge guilt that i was bad and serving Satan.

    Now i look forward to every Holiday and wordly family event i can make . As far as Religion , i want nothing to do with any of them . Do i believe in God ? well i am sure there is something somewhere but that is how i leave it.

    Friends , most i have met are posters from here and they are great friends . I lost all my friends ,even the ones i grewup with when i was a JW as they would tell me how weird and strange i became which i guess i did .

  • daystar

    Careful unique1. I know what you mean though, for sure.

    I coped by digging further into religion, spirituality, etc. I studied what YHVH means and delved into other esoteric subjects.

    "Nothing is forbidden, everything is permissible." - attributed to Hassan-i-Sabah

  • rwagoner

    I stayed active in a "Faith" just eased off on the mind control...started working for a Police Department which is a total opposite of the jw's...lots of black humor, alcohol and flirting....finally met a wonderful woman...had kids...before I knew it...WOW...I had a real life. and its nice.

  • Billygoat

    Initially, after my DF, I went off the deep end. I smoked, slept around, partied all the time, dated men that were BAD choices for me, drank myself into a stupor for a long while. Anything to drown the depression cause by the pain of having lost my parents, brothers, friends and religion. I knew enough about myself to never do hard drugs. I knew I'd be the type to get addicted, so those were off limits. There is about a 2 year period that I just don't remember much of. Then the dust and excitement of that life started to settle and it was out of my system. I started taking care of myself.

    A lot of people would say that I "found God", but I don't think I found anything. I just discovered how to look at God through eyes other than JW eyes. I started reading the Bible for what it was, a book of questions...rather than a book of answers. I still struggle with the depression at times, but I'm finding myself get stronger with every bend in the road. I'm rather enjoying "growing up."

  • curlygirl

    Well, we moved to the other side of the state. That was really hard at first because most JWs never learn how to rely on themselves. We were all family or friends and I would have to say that it was both the best and worst year of our lives. Once we stopped 'looking up' for all of the answers and realized that our lives were in OUR was like a light went on. We have happy, joyful lives without guilt.

    We started celebrating the holidays three years out and we've been out for almost eight years now. I lovelovelove x-mas! I'm totally like a little kid. I love decorating the tree and every year I start earlier and earlier!

    The friend thing is a bit trickier. I've always considered myself a social person and didn't think it would be any big thing. I was wrong. The first year I made friends with anyone it seemed with a mental illness. To go a step farther, I made friends with people with multiple personalities. That was my mo for the first year. I'd love to tell you that I figured it all out and I'm surrounded by lots of friends......I'm still working on that. Finally, I was talking to my husband and I told him that I wished I could just meet a bunch of ex jws because we'd probably have more in common. That's when I found the board and here I am. I've met some really wonderful people off of the board and there are many more who post here that I would love to have a conversation with. It's really strange that it took me so long to allow myself to look at apostate websites especially since I'd been celebrating the holidays for years but, I'm here now and loving it!

    There is happiness outside of the org. I think that the peace comes when you realize that you and only you are responsible for your happiness or unhappiness.


  • MissBehave
    I lovelovelove x-mas! I'm totally like a little kid. I love decorating the tree and every year I start earlier and earlier!

    I'm totally with you on that one. I hate taking it down. I wish I could leave it up all year long. I also went trick or treating for my first time at the age of 34. Ok, so I used the excuse of taking my nephew. But I was in costume and I yelled "trick or treat" for the first time in my life. It was great! I'm thinking of pulling one of my own teeth so my husband can play Easter Bunny. Hmmmm, missing out on holidays..great idea for a new thread.

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