How have you coped since leaving?

by SickofLies 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • crazyblondeb

    When I left the JW's I was like a spring that had sprung loose. I went wild! I've still battled with drugs/alcohol. I celebrate holidays life a kid. My sisters and I were laughing about how we are living our childhood thru our kids. My daughter, and all my neices and nephews have b-day parties out the ass. Not to mention halloween,etc parties.

    What has helped me the most is being here, and on a couple other sites. I'me starting to let my guard down. I've had a problem letting people know the real me!

    Just take your time!


  • Finally-Free

    I function pretty much as I did before, when I was a JW. I just have some extra time since I don't go to meetings or out in serviceā„¢. I go to work every day, and putter around at home when I'm not at work. I don't have a social life. After 20 friendless years as a JW, I don't think I'd know what to do with friends if I had any. It's been too long.


  • lonelysheep

    I've been okay. I was in and out of jw's within a few years of my early 20's. Before having kids, I had a social life, and now I have none. I've kept one girlfriend from elementary school throughout these years.

    Recently, I began to miss being around people from the kh simply because I DO miss having a social life outside the home. It meant having parties to attend, invitations to dinner, gabfests over the phone, etc.

    I'm thankful for the internet and the friends I've made here and at Thom's. Lately, though, I am craving being with them in person. What can I say....when you talk to people everyday, you want the real thing, too.

    lonelysheep of the "lonely in new jersey class"

  • Ellie

    I have coped by throwing myself into my children, getting out to playgroups and classes as much as possible (this week I've been to 2 each day), its a great way to meet people and I realise that I no longer need to be a part of the JW gang, I can make friends on my own merit.

    This board has helped a lot too, in making me realise that its really not the truth.

  • Carmel

    hmm... aren't all religions organized? Never seen one that wasn't! Anyway, I went to college, got married, had kids, made lots of friends led normal life. All pretty easy of one is detached from the expectations of a high control (is that what organized means?) religion.


  • GermanXJW

    I have become an agnostic. Concerning new friends, well: I am not doing that well.

  • Krystal

    How can you cope?? If someone knows the answer please by all means let us know!

    I don't think there is anything that can prepare you for what leaving an organization like the WTBS is going to be like. To be totally honest, I don't think there is anything you can really do to ease that pain.

    I just take one day at a time. I am so lucky to have my darling hubby who not only was/is my shoulder to cry on but he also helped me to branch out and make new friends amongst some of his own friends.

    All the new friends in the world will not replace the friends and family I have lost. You just have to come to terms with that. Life isn't fair. Jehovah's Witnesses are not fair.

    I think the one thing that keeps me from going off the deep end is the thought that it could be worse! I mean really, in the grand scheme of things, I have a roof over my head, food in my stomach and air in my lungs. I can't ask for more than that.

  • greendawn

    Carried on as before except that I had girlfriends, I thought for a while that there was some value in the JWs that they had something useful to offer to society a superior morality but when the internet came out and I checked out them there, I realised that on balance the world is better off without them. They do a lot more harm than good.

  • Dismembered

    Cigars are good


  • Frog

    morphine drip does the trick! ;)

    I don't think there is anything that can prepare you for what leaving an organization like the WTBS is going to be like. To be totally honest, I don't think there is anything you can really do to ease that pain.

    I realise this doesn't help much, but I think TIME is the only cure for moving on past all the loss, hurt & pain. It's attitude as well. There's no doubt that all of us here have license to claim victimhood for the rest of our lives if we so wished, but then we only self-inflict further harm on ourselves that is unfairly due. With time you learn to build a whole other life, and not to live in the past. Finally it becomes clear that things couldn't have been any other way given the circumstances. I think too a big part for me is learning to be okay with the fact that there would be plenty of times during these past difficult few years or so where I was allowed not to cope. During the really difficult patches nothing can be done or said to ease the pain, and you just have to allow yourself to go through it.

    Aside from this I do everything possible in my power to re-create new worlds for myself. I've travelled extensively, lived overseas, moved into different states, studying a great degree at university, worked different jobs, volunteer. Everything possible to prove to myself that life outside the org is far more fullfilling and full of opportunity.

    All the best, frog x

Share this