waiting for life to begin

by Ms. Whip 27 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  AuldSoul

  (((Ms.Whip)))

  I'm just waiting for someone to tap me on the shoulder and say "hey ms. whip, you were daydreaming again" and I'd wake up and realize I hadn't wasted the last 20 years of my life.

  You are already tapping yourself on the shoulder, but it seems to me that your message is somewhat different than what you are waiting to hear from someone else.

  Your message to yourself seems to be, "Hey ms. whip, you wasted 20 years of your life daydreaming, are you going to do it again?" Life is either something that people make or something that makes people. You don't strike me as an "I let life happen to me" kind of person.

  So my question—using your list—would be, at what point do you realize that if you don't change how you interact with the world you will look back 20 years from now and wonder why you are sitting at your computer, typing a note to people you've never met, with no friends, no fulfilling career, and no family? We have already established that others have been able to live life in this world, when will you do that?

  I'm not picking on you, BTW. I am at the exact same point in my exit process (except that I am married with no children). I used that exact question with myself and am now taking steps to GET myself a different life—the one I never lived, namely this one.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
• 

  Ms. Whip

  I knew I had potential to do so much more

  
  so did i

  you can catch up

  
  i just can't run that fast

  it's not too late

  
  i hope not

  "i dont know how to get from here to there" its like i'm missing some part of me that would propel me into " life"

  
  that's exactly how i feel. it's not about how young or old, or nice or pretty. i am an incomplete puzzle, there is something missing. (and if anyone says a marble or screw, i'll

  
  or maybe i am missing a number of things. love, motivation, confidence, purpose (gag), a controlling religion to make every decision for me?

  
  maybe what i'm really missing is someone to take me to the Dallas Symphony & chase me through the corridors. lol

  
  

  *edited to add that elsewhere is a cutie lol
• 

  luna2

  " uhhhhhhhhhh i dont know how to get from here to there"

  its like i'm missing some part of me that would propel me into " life"

  Boy, that about sums it up for me too. Got to try to find those missing bits...they've got to be available someplace, right? Maybe ebay.
• 

  Hellrider

  or maybe i am missing a number of things. love, motivation, confidence, purpose (gag), a controlling religion to make every decision for me?

  Yeah, maybe you`re onto something there. Maybe you`re out of a cocoon (in which life is pretty miserable, but at least there is the "hope" of a bright, perfect future, immortality and happiness and the lion laying down with the lamb blah blah), and now you have to face the real world. Endless opportunities (but also disappointments), freedom (but to do what?), having real relationships with people (not just people that you are obligated to be "friendly", and vice versa, cause you`re a "sister" and so are they), but actually interacting with people, gain friends (real friends), but also loose them. And the list goes on and on...it`s called life. It sucks and it is beatiful. It lifts you up and then throw you to the ground. Welcome to the real world.
• 

  OpenFireGlass

  Maybe first define, "fulfilling career" & go from there? Good chance you'll make freinds along the way....
• 

  Frannie Banannie

  MsWhip, what if you had waited til you were 45 or 50 to make your exit from it? Talk about a wasted LIFE! You're lucky, cher. You've got your best years ahead of you. Just live it and make the most of it, sweetie. The best is yet to come.

  Frannie
• 

  Dune

  I think you put into words what i've been feeling for the past year or so. You still have alot of time to do everything you've always wanted, you just have to go out and do it. (Easier said then done though i guess).
• 

  Gretchen956

  I feel you, thats for sure! I was 35 when I left, that was 14 years ago. The bad part is I feel like I don't have any real life skills sometimes. But still I can't complain, life is good more times than not. In fact some days its just plain GREAT! And I wouldn't discount the friends you make here, I think some of the most caring, loving people I have met in years have been in this group. Along with one or two jack-asses, but thats pretty good!

  Anyway its not too late, you have the best part of your life yet to come (as someone else pointed out). Best thing to do is make some goals for yourself, not only career-wise but in general. Like, join a gym (good exercise and meet people); or travel to one place you have never been before within x number of months (6 months, a year, 2 years, some defined period); take a class or two at a college and dip your toes into academia, you might find you like it. There are so many things! In all figure out your top 10 things you want to do before its too late, and then DO them!!!

  Blessings, chickie, you will do just fine!

  Sherry
• 

  prophecor

  Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
  You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
  Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
  Waiting for someone or something to show you the way
  
  Tired of lying in the sunshine
  Staying home to watch the rain
  And you are young and life is long
  And there is time to kill today
  And then one day you find
  Ten years have got behind you
  No one told you when to run
  You missed the starting gun
  
  And you run, and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
  Racing around to come up behind you again
  The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
  Shorter of breath and one day closer to death
  
  Every year is getting shorter
  Never seem to find the time
  Plans that either come to nought
  Or half a page of scribbled lines
  Hanging on in quiet desparation is the English way
  The time is gone
  The song is over
  Thought I'd something more to say
  
  Home, home again
  I like to be here when I can
  When I come home cold and tired
  It's good to warm my bones beside the fire
  Far away across the field
  The tolling of the iron bell
  Calls the faithful to their knees
  To hear the softly spoken magic spells
• 

  atypical

  Ms. Whip, I really identify with your feelings. I have been feeling very lost and angry about all the time that I wasted. I think it must be such a common thing to go through for xjws. But everyone is giving good advice, and I am going to try and apply it myself.

  I was talking to a witness today, a friend of my sisters, and he was telling me how he is so depressed because he is 28 and he doesn't feel like he has accomplished anything. He is out of work and trying to figure out what to do. Any job he is qualified for doesn't pay enough. And he even told me that he regrets that he took everyone's advice "not to go to college". He is so down.

  But here is the kicker - He is trying to figure out how to make enough money AND pioneer AND his wife doesn't want to work anymore so she can pioneer with no stress. Plus, he is very active as a witness and only blames himself for his situation.

  After I talked to him, I felt very grateful. At least we have the freedom of understanding why we are where we are. That freedom is what will let us move on and do something about it.

  Best wishes to you.