waiting for life to begin

by Ms. Whip 27 Replies latest jw friends

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  Ms. Whip

  I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen. I don't know...for the clouds to open up and a thundering voice to say "just kidding!"

  Am I the only one that feels this?

  As a "good little witness girl" I stood on the sidelines and watched people from school or neighborhood kids do stuff. Like go on dates, go to concerts, wear cool clothes, go off to college. But, nothing happened in my life.

  Then years past and people I was "aquainted" with had careers, houses, cool vacations, lots of holidays with friends and family. My life? still nothing.

  Now here I am. All the reasons I didn't "live life" gone. I'm sitting at my computer, typing a note to people I've never met, no friends, no fulfilling career, no family.

  I feel like screaming!

  It's like life happened while I was busy sitting in a Kingdom Hall.

  I'm just waiting for someone to tap me on the shoulder and say "hey ms. whip, you were daydreaming again" and I'd wake up and realize I hadn't wasted the last 20 years of my life.
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  ballistic

  I did go for some time thinking about all the wasted years, but I've met people on here in person who discovered "the truth" was not true much later in life than I did and they all find their own reasons for being greatful. As for making it happen now, people of all walks of life get in a rut. That's why when I'm made redundant next month, I'm getting on my motorbike and going off to explore the world.
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  Sunnygal41

  Ms. Whip (love the name, btw) you were in shock for awhile after you started finding it was all a big lie...........now, parts of you are coming out of the shock..........this is all part of a very natural cycle..........you are grieving your lost years............it must be FELT to resolve............that's why we are here, on the forum, to provide a safe haven for this process all ex witnesses go thru. So, rant, rave, punch pillows, scream at god/dog/the Universe and know that we all walked the same path you are now on..............

  ((((Ms. Whip))))
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  ballistic

  Sunnygal - you cannot get away with trying to boost your post count like that!
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  Ms. Whip

  Sunnygal - you cannot get away with trying to boost your post count like that!

  lol, but what a great post said with such emphasis. plus, i'm grateful for so many hugs!
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  Soledad

  Yes Ms Whip I know how you feel, exactly. I too get so angry sometimes when I think of all the wasted years and opportunities, especially since I knew I had potential to do so much more. All is not lost, I hope. I have to figure out what the next step is, make a plan and reach that goal.
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  Hellrider

  Ms.Whip, you`re young, you can catch up. I have a friend to with no career, our age, early 30s, now going to evening school. You can do things like that too. And I have to say: If you`re as smart and nice as you`re pretty (if that is you in the pic), then you have all the reason to cheer up.
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  Elsewhere

  Ms. Whip... you just need me to take you to the Dallas Symphony!

  I promise to chase you through the corridors!
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  candidlynuts

  ms whip you said it better than i could ever have said it!

  i'm older than you (barely haha) and feel the same way.. i cant tell you how many conversations i've had with my honey

  me: " i'd like to ....."

  him "well whats stopping you?"

  me " uhhhhhhhhhh i dont know how to get from here to there"

  its like i'm missing some part of me that would propel me into " life"

  but i'm workin on it..thats all any of us can do. good luck!
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  serendipity

  Ms Whip, it's not too late to pursue your goals. Go for it!