I had to leave and go to town yesterday. I thought about this post of Blessed Star's and I started to feel intensely sorry for the poor woman.
I think B.S., or Hibiscus, or whatever her name is, is trapped in a terrible box of fear.
Fear rules her life. She doesnt understand nor is she comfortable in the world with all its confusion.
I think something in her past has scared her very much and to this day she lives in a little world of rules that she feels more secure in.
She is outraged when people do not obey the rules and insists that people conform to the way she wants life to be. I know because I felt this way too once. Fear ruled my life. Fear of people. Fear of experiencing. Fear of God. Fear of disgrace. Fear of death. Fear of injury. Fear of displeasing my mother and father. Fear of what others thought.
Sometimes when children experience a great fear.....sexual assault, eyewitness to a murder or death, they shut down and withdraw and desire to keep their world very small and controllable.
Rules and fears and mental boxes keep the world a smaller more managable place.
But what to do with the people who live outside the rules?
You see, she cannot deal with them at all.
Her brain cannot deal with the reality outside her self imposed box of beliefs.
It is a pity, but until she gets real help and therapy, she will continue to suffer with indignation the disgusting vulgarity of people outside her box of fear.
She needs to understand that people want to be loved for who they are. Most of us here have lived for years in families and in an org that only loved us and associated with us if we put in so many hours in the preaching work or made at least one comment on a Sunday or attended the 5 meetings a week and gave theocratic answers to questions when asked. We are all victims of conditional love. We lived in fear for years of losing all the love in our lives if we didnt behave and act "nice".
Many people say and act crudely and provocatively in an effort to do a 180 away from that former restraint. When they find friends who love them for who they are as beautiful human beings, they tend to calm down, quit acting out and normalize. The stages of their mental growth are HEALTHY Blessed Star, dont you see this? This forum is a special place. It is a place of freedom for those exiting an unhealthy life.
Teenagers typically go through a rebellious stage, the brain's efforts to breakaway from mom and dad and become an adult responsible for oneself. Exiting the JWs can be like going through teenage period again with all the accompanying experimentation and delight to offend the restrainers. But eventually they all calm down too. Few stay a rebel forever. And if they do it is because they see a need to free others maybe.
I say to Blessed Star to relax. "Nothing is new under the sun". People have been around for thousands of years. All the jokes are really very old. The Romans, The Ancient Chinese, The Celts, the people of Enoch's day all told the same ones. Read history and start to relax about human nature.
Dont scold adults like they were children. There is no point in it. You cannot force people to grow or mature. Like a flower they must open on their own. They are going to do what they will do as they always have.
Our job as good women on this earth is to love people, in a motherly, sisterly and friendship way. And set an example. Thats all you can do.
This is how you inspire both men and women to be better people.
Just think of the most inspiring men and women you know in history. Your answer is there.