Help!!!!! How do I get out of vacation?

by collegegirl21 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    Hard to stand up to your parents when you're raised in that religion and are taught to be submissive to authority, but it has to be done at some point in time. It's also hard to stand up to your parents when you are dependent on them for some of your finances.

    If you don't want to go, you can say that you don't want to go and find some way within a few weeks to make up for the financial loss you will feel. Try alternate transportation and another part time job! Independence is a FINE feeling, and is a great motivator, too!

    Good luck!


  • funkyderek

    Tell them you're 21!

    Maybe spend spring break working to pay off any money you owe them. (Leave some time to have fun though!)

  • nsrn

    How about, "Mom, listen, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I just don't want to go. I feel really resentful when you make plans for my spring break. I feel disrespected that you're not listening to me. If I DO decide to go with you, I will not be attending the hall or go out in service."

    I remember when I lived at home, turned 18. Started having homework too heavy to finish on Thursdays, and then scheduling myself to work my part time job on Sunday a.m. When I did have to do out in service, I quit speaking at the doors. (Get paired up with someone you haven't worked with in a while, and at the first door announce, "You do the talking today, I'll just listen to you.") When my parents questioned me about my fade, I was able to tell them that my heart just wasn't in it.

    I remember the worst part was knowing I was dissappointing THEM. (My parents)

  • rebel8

    Oh just go to the meetings. Go to a joke store and buy some of that black stuff for your teeth. Each day black out a different tooth. Get an Ace bandage and wrap up a different joint for each meeting--one day your left ankle and the next your right wrist. Limp. Get some dark blue eye shadow and each meeting darken a large area around alternating eyes. Get some blood red lipstick and dab it in spots on your lips to make it look as though you've got an injury.

    If anyone asks, tell them the demons are beating you up at night. If they persist, make your head jerk suddenly to the side as if you were punched by an invisible being. You will be able to avoid "association" that way!

    Whenever someone asks what to do when they're forced to go to meetings, I usually come up with practical jokes for them to play. Honestly, if I was forced to go to meetings, I'd be playing as many practical jokes as I could. It would be the only way I could tolerate it, and effing with the dubs may actually throw them off center enough to make them realize how silly their beliefs are. (This is actually a technique I learned in psychology/counseling classes known as "extending", and it works. Plus it's fun.)

  • Crumpet

    You are 21! My parents stopped having any input as to my affairs the moment I turned 16 and started earning my own living.

  • greendawn

    You should just be firm and not beat about the bush, it's your life and sooner or later they will have to know that you don't like the JWs, the WTS lies profusely so you can also find an excuse and say a firm no.

  • collegegirl21

    Thanks everyone. I'm going to try and stand up without having them realize that I'm not all in right now. I still need them financially for a little while. Any other suggestions will be good. We'll see what she has to say! :)

  • Nosferatu

    No, your an adult and can make your own choices. Say that your school work is not somthing that can be done on the road. Your 20 years old and can make up your own mind. But don't waste your youth following someone elses orders.

    Well while I am in school they are helping me a little bit financially and they are letting me use their car since I live an hour away, and I think that my mom (she's sneaky and can be evil) will use that to her advantage because I have been making excuses for not going to the meetings the past 3 weeks.

    I absolutely hate this. I was put through it as well. Basically, they're saying "Well, we're letting you do this and we're paying for that, so we have a say in what you're going to do." I ended up cutting all the ties from my parents and paying for everything myself. That way, they couldn't hold anything over my head (although that didn't stop them from trying).

    But I understand where you're coming from, and that you want to lay low for a bit until you're more in the clear. Sometimes that's the best way to handle things. Going out in service and hanging out with your family for ONE WEEK is a small price to pay for what you're currently getting. Once you're finished school, you can completely kiss the JW religion goodbye.

  • RubaDub

    Maybe dye your hair purple or something ... maybe a couple of temporary tatoos ...

    Rub a Dub

  • Billygoat
    No, your an adult and can make your own choices. Say that your school work is not somthing that can be done on the road. Your 20 years old and can make up your own mind.

    This was my advice too. I would state it as sappy and lovable as possible. Perhaps something like, "Mom, preparing my Watchtower on the road wouldn't be acceptable to you, would it? And considering we're PAYING for this education, doing homework on the road isn't going to do me any good either. I need time to concentrate without any distractions and I'm not capable of doing that in a car full of other people talking, music playing, etc. I'd really love it if you'd respect that I'm growing up and learning to be independent." *insert big bear hug* "I'm a big girl. I need some time during Spring Break to study. But call me the minute you're up there so I can say hi to Aunt Molly and Uncle Patrick. I'm sorry I'm missing the fun."

    It's always better sweet than bitter and angry.

    Or you could say, "Oooh! I can't wait! There is this gorgeous boy (worldly of course) that lives down the street from them. I've been wanting a chance to go visit so I can give him a call!" Maybe that will put the brakes on Mom pushing you up there.

    Just my two cents...


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