Help!!!!! How do I get out of vacation?

by collegegirl21 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • Darth Yhwh
    Darth Yhwh

    You could alway play the "Im an adult and will do as I please" card. Couldn't you?

  • collegegirl21

    Well while I am in school they are helping me a little bit financially and they are letting me use their car since I live an hour away, and I think that my mom (she's sneaky and can be evil) will use that to her advantage because I have been making excuses for not going to the meetings the past 3 weeks. So she will think that I owe it to her to go and that by meeting the "friends" and going out in service with them that I will have "good association."

  • Elsewhere
    What will happen if you don't go? Is there a financial tie/blackmail going on?

    Rule #1: Whoever pays the bills makes the rules.

    When I moved out and my dad (classic patriarchal JW elder) could no longer control me it drove him absolutely NUTS.

    Don't move out too soon as this will only result in your living off beans and rice and then having to move back in with you parents. I waited until I graduated from college and had a good job to start my carrier off.

    Yes, my Elder father actually *encouraged* me to go to college much to the disapproval of the congregation... that much I must give him. He did construction work and told me that he regretted not working "indoors" and wanted me to have an "indoor" job.

  • collegegirl21

    Well I dont live at home, I live an hour away from home and that's where I go to school. Its just a matter of figuring out how to get my credit back together (my ex-fiance and I screwed each other over) and being able to get my own car so I don't have to depend on them. Once I have that, then I will be ok because I pay for school and most of my rent by myself.

    I'm pretty independent when it comes to that sort of thing, but my mom knows how to guilt trip me into doing what she wants to do and I just don't know how to say no because then I feel bad at her for getting mad at me.

  • stillajwexelder

    I am not being sexist - but is it possible to develop a really really painful period with exceptionaly heavy flow and have to take a "sick day"?

  • collegegirl21

    Lol, a sick day for a week? My mother would tell me to take some midol and get over it....

  • kittyeatzjdubs

    You have a PM.

    luv, jojo

  • No Apologies
    No Apologies

    Well collegegirl there are several ways to handle this:

    1. Totally refuse to live a lie. No going to meetings, no going in field service period. Ethically this is wonderful, but the consequences could be unpleasant.

    2. Theocratic warfare: attend the meetings, try not to barf or display any facial expressions that may be construed as critical of the fine spiritual food being served. The safe choice, although it can be challenging and requires a fair degree of acting ability.

    3. Baffle them with pure truth. For example, this could be your presentation at the door:

    You: Hi! We are going door to door selling these magazines to people, and to let you know that our religion is better than yours and if you want to survive you need to join us.

    Note that this presentation is simple, and can be used even if you are not familar with the contents of the current magazines you are using. Another example, making conversation after the meeting:

    You: That talk was a joke. Any of my professors would have been embarrassed to give a lecture that dull. I'm sure glad I only have to come here a couple times a year when my parents drag me here.

    Now I like option 3, its honest and yet you are trying to be flexible and at least try to please your parents. They will no doubt appreciate your willingness to meet them halfway like this, while respecting you for taking a stand.

    No Apologies

  • MsMcDucket

    I'm a mother and I love my children. See your mother and father, but don't go out in field service or to the Kingdom Hall. When you get home, tell your mother that you're not feeling well, that you think you have the flu or something. Get up and walk around like a rag doll in your robe and slippers. This should, at least, keep you from having to go out in service and to the kingdumb hall.

    I know, it's not like going to Daytona Beach...

    Ok, maybe, someone else has a better answer.

  • luna2

    You don't live in your parents' home at any time during the year, right? And you mostly support yourself...exactly what would happen if you just straight up told them you had no interest in going? You think they'd yank the car? There are parents who'd make a lot of noise but still help you, and there are parents who would make a lot of noise, require that you return the car and stop all monetary help. Which kind are you dealing with? Are they cold enough to try to force you to do JW stuff and cut you off if you won't bow to pressure? If not, I'd call their bluff, tell them you don't want to go, and carry on with your own plans. Sometimes if you take a stand, it works out for the best.

    If they are the cold-hearted, do what we say or we disown you sort, and you can't do without their car and their money, it sounds like you are screwed.

    Edit: It just ocurred to me that if you could claim that you get car sick you might be able to wiggle out of the trip. My parents wanted me to ride with them on some dumbass driving marathon from CT to Detroit, stay there two days, and drive back. I used the car-sickness card and it worked like a charm.

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