I had that "itch" over the weekend.

by jojochan 31 Replies latest social relationships

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  jojochan

  You know the feeling...seperation anxiety. After that relationship with that "woman" went down the toilet I noticed one creepy thing. I had WAY too much time on my hands. I tried to keep busy but... Those thoughts of the past keept creeping in. Thoughts of her ran through my mind. I hate it...I hate it so much. I tried to drive, It did'nt matter where, just anywhere. But that did'nt help at all. Everywhere I looked I saw HER. It's strange...she never crossed my mind at all until saturday. even hagning out with my cousin did'nt help because I was still puzzeled on how someone could say they love you and would'nt trade you for nothing on this earth, and then just as quickly....Discard you like a used condom on to the street; sorry folks, but that's how I felt. At home I played music, old vinyl records to at least climb out of the funk. It helped, only a little bit though.

  Then it happened...

  She called me....

  My heart stopped, then picked right up again. I was civil, talked about the weather and other things. But then she got down to the jist of it on why she called," I need my old cd back, you need to mail it to me here, ok? That was the only reason why I needed to speak to you. So please don't act all concerned; which you're not. In fact you should go back to the hall; where you belong."

  God, if you exist, please smite me, smite me now.

  What could I say after that? We parted ways, again.

  Then after that I started playing my gangsta rap in anger, somehow hearing "aint no fun if the homies can't have none" by snoop dog. And "Aint nuthing but a word to me." By Too short suddenly uplifted me. I respect women, I LOVE women, but not those that treat people with disrespect and cruelty.I realize that as long as I'm fading, I'm in a weird space when it comes to relationships. I'm ok now...her numbers had been deleted from my phone, the big hurdle that I thought I could NEVER do;ripped up every pic I had of her. It hurt, but realized one thing, she was'nt my first, and she damn sure aint the last to love.

  I feel better already.Thanks for reading.

  jojochan.
• 

  gumby

  Well, this is my first post I've read since waking up this morning and it seems it ended good jojo......you feel better. Sometimes you need a group of buddies to tell it to eh? I'm sure those feelings will arise again, but at least you know it's possible to live through them.

  The best to you bro,

  Gumby
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  troubled mind

  I hope you played frisbee in the parking lot with her cd too ! My heart goes out to you . You were right she will not be your last , in fact the best is yet to come . Get out there and find the new and improved "her" in your life . And for goodness sake steer clear of any JW she demons.
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  jojochan

  I hope you played frisbee in the parking lot with her cd too !

  Actually It's a coaster for my beer And I'm hiding from the JW she demuns as we speak, lol!

  and Gumby, thanks

  jojochan.
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  Legolas

  Actually It's a coaster for my beer

  Ha ha..Good for you!
• 

  jojochan

  Thanks Legolas

  cheers!

  The thing is now, I need change. I'm transferring from my clinic to another one because of there being too many memories of her and me . memories of me drawing her blood, memories of me looking after her,us laughing and talking ect. I have to get out of that place. I'm on my way to another clinic which the people there are more than happy to take me in. Which makes me feel better.

  One day at a time, one day at a time.

  jojochan.
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  AK - Jeff

  JOJO

  What CD did she want? The Watchtower CD-Rom?

  I would scratch the hell out of it before I sent it. But make a copy first - they might become important to have later if the rumors are true!

  Jeff
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  mrsjones5

  I would forget to send the said cd and somehow lose it and block her number

  Josie
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  jojochan

  LOLOLOL! I'll look into that, thanks!

  jojochan.
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  Gretchen956

  JoJo, sorry for the broken heart, it will mend! Sounds like you are well rid of her and of course congratulations on escaping from the religion! I know you are angry and I don't blame you, but sending that CD back scraped is a bit passive-agressive. Either keep it and tell her you are keeping it, or be the bigger person and send it back to her. She is the one in the control of a mind-numbing cult, not you.

  I know you'll find someone that you will connect with, and there are some hot women here on JWD so who knows! There is such a thing as unconditional love.

  All the best!

  Sherry