Why can't you just move on?

by atypical 45 Replies latest jw friends

  • IronClaw
    She got so upset that she left the next morning after our discussion without saying a word, and she was gone all day. That has never, ever happened in the seven years of our marriage. I have decided that maybe I will force myself not to say a word; to try to live by example. I don't know what else to do.

    Oh man this has happened to me too. Everytime my wife says anything scriptural around me and gets a different answer than she's looking for she gets all upset. I have to admit that I dont like playing biblical pingpong with her. I also at the same time cant give in to her and live a lie. Its really a hard life to live. Now add to that the fact that kids are involved and its just hell. Seriously man its so bad around here now that she doesn't even sleep with me anymore.( seperate bedrooms ).Hang in there. You are definately not alone. The Claw.

  • atypical

    I feel for you, Claw. I slept in a separate bedroom last night, too. What a weird reality. I woke up this morning so disoriented. I didn't know if I should separate our bank accounts or buy her flowers. It sucks. But it helps to know that other people are living through similar experiences.

  • 95stormfront
    I went through the same thing with my ex. She was constantly bringing up the JW subject, yet when I gave her answers she didn't like she accused me of "attacking" her.

    JWs believe in the right to express their religious beliefs, but they are unwilling to extend that right to anyone who disagrees with them. Then it is viewed as "persecution".

    Been there.....

    My wife does this all the time.

    In her cleaning mode she's in now, she's moved everything out of one closet except a basket of WT magazines.....in our closet on my side where I have to look everytime I go in for anything is a videotape of my baptism, and sitting next to the TV is a stack of old Bible Story tapes. I know she's trying to make it appear that all these things were just sureptitiously left but she's been such a stickler packing everything else up.....why are these things left lying around to do nothing but, in her mind, try to ignite in me some interest in "da truth"..

    Yet if I say anything negative about "da truth" I'm attacking her and given the same guild ridden "you know it's da truth" rhetoric.

  • KW13

    mmm its sad this situation but at least you are just wanting to set them free from lies, you care deeply for the individual and in your mind the end result of seeing them happy is what matters.

    Personally i'd take as long as it was needed to help my mum, she has no idea what she is in and its like a knife in your heart when they say your just against their faith. I hope one day she leaves, no matter what i present her with she closes her eyes but yet she's willing to show me 'her evidence' which is a claim by the society backed up by the society and then just to make its standing firm and undoubtable you open the insight book.

  • 95stormfront

    I try not to say anything and keep my opinions to myself also, but how do you do that and not let them take the silence as agreeable acknowledgement.

    It's getting more and more to the point where me and my wife are doing things together less and less. I even brought a "G" rated movie home I thought she'd like but she didn't even want to watch that. Free front row tickets to an event and it's like pulling teeth to get her to go. It's getting to the point where I'm tiring of it and just going out and doing things withough even asking her if she wants to participate but she finds a reason to be mad about that also even if I'm going somewhere I know she doesn't want to go. I told her I was going to a relatives B-day party a couple of weeks ago and she got so crabby you'd have thought there was a pot of gumbo on the stove.

    But, she thinks nothing of leaving me home alone while she's at a meeting or studying with the "friends" and expecting me to wait for her on the off chance that she does want to go somewhere with me. That's so much more important, doncha know.....

  • Darth Yhwh
    Darth Yhwh

    Seriously though…..this is why one cannot just “move on”! When I read this thread with all of your stories, the aggravation and the heartache, I can’t help but become enraged.

  • 95stormfront
    Seriously man its so bad around here now that she doesn't even sleep with me anymore.( seperate bedrooms ).
    I slept in a separate bedroom last night, too.&

    Ahhh.....the womanly weapon of choice when they can't get their way.

    While I'm not out looking for it if my wife wants to pull that for any length of time, it's nice to know that I have several "contingencies" in the event she wants to take it to that level. I'm already on the alert for that blood card where if she's given an elder or anybody else medical POA. She'd better know that they'd better be ready to pick up her medical expenses if I'm ever superceded.

    While I'm sure you can get what you want by using the "giving your husband his due" card, who wants what would amount to nothing more than a cold dead fish with a WT brand on it.

  • moshe


    I feel for you as I can see a slow replay of what happened in my house. It is my opinion that at some point you will slip up and say something that will put the "apostate" label on you. Once that happens it's over- your wife will stop the dialogue. The final act in your wife's play is called " I'm divorced,with WT approval, due to absolute spiritual endangerment from my husband"

    It's sad, but we are just outside observers in this marital death spiral- we don't see many JW spouses who are able to stay married to a spouse who openly leaves the org. . It's like quicksand, I'm afraid- the more you try to help your JW wife see your point of view, the quicker you will get sucked under and get DF'd or disassociated.

    good luck,


  • MsMcDucket

    Just flip them the bird!

  • MsMcDucket
    She then asked me why I can't just move on.

    Ways to move on:
    Buy a Buddha and put it in a prominent place in your home.

    Buy a cross and hang it from your rearview mirror.

    Get a license tag that says Apos8 or Ex-JW

    Paint your front door red.

    Have poker parties at your house on the night of the meetings.

    Ask her if she's just trying to start an argument so that she can have sex?

    Put windchimes all around your house.

    Wish everyone a happy birthday.

    Say bless you when someone sneezes.

    Have the delivery man with a prominent sign deliver blood sausauge to your home.

    Give your wife flowers on Valentine's Day.

    Play your favorite non-JW Christian song.

    Wear a Speedo on meeting days (Out in the yard if it's not cold.).

    Ok, so, instead of arguing with your wife, leave the house and start working on an anti-witness project. This may keep her off your back for awhile.

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