Yeah, i know that feeling. I've been pleasing my parents for years. I even followed their advice to pour my heart out to the elders, and it got me d'd, I don't think they were expecting that. I've since realised I never want to go back, and I'm actually glad it all happened, because if I'd not been d'd or been shown some kind of mercy I might have thought that god was with them. Now I know they're just fools at best, powermongers at worst. And my family; they're not stupid but they choose to remain in a cult in spite of the pain all around them. I decided not to let their guilt and fear keep me bound for life.
Take your time; it takes everybody a long time to recover from the brainwash. Some people devote their entire lives to it and don't even get close. If you think it would settle things to give an elder a quick phone call to give them the facts, go ahead, that might get your parents off your back. It kills mine that they could never motivate any of my elders to take me under their wing. We all know that it's not any of their business as do you, but we've all had to play some version of this game to give ourselves space. Take what you need, mostly - time.
Important phrase to keep in the back of your head, in case an elder gets on your case:
*smile* "Thanks, but I'm not able to talk about this right now."
Never be ready to talk about it, until you know you are. DO understand that talking to the elders about doubts is guaranteeing that you will, sooner or later, be d'd as an apostate. There is no reasoning; no counsel. There is the occasional loving and sincere elder wanting to help, but most of them are just guys with a family and life of their own, and no idea of what to do with this enormous responsibility they have. They're not trained, they're not educated, it's not a profession... it's just some guys who've done a few days reading a book written by men who have never lived in the real world.