Anyone else in PUTERNUT's shoes? Despairing? COME TO US!

by AlmostAtheist 77 Replies latest jw friends

  • Big Tex
    Big Tex
    I was ready & willing to end my pain & suffering -- at the expense of giving pain, suffering and feelings of guilt to my loved ones. My being willing to hurt them like that -- hurt them the most

    Spot on Mr. Rabbit. My 9 year old son spiraled down into deep depression and even talked of hurting himself because of his grandfather's suicide. Some of that pain and suffering Bill was experiencing was indeed transferred to my son. He's in therapy and long out of the danger spot, but he is scarred from Bill's suicide.

    No one is better off having to watch someone they love and care for killing themselves. We're stronger with you than without you.

    Hi Kate.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie
    I'm not too sure if my point is coming across very well or if I really understand yours but I am trying and basically in the long run it's all okay we can have different views and opinions I'm just expressing mine however clumsily I am at it. This is a serious subject and it goes deep into my soul as I've dealt with it most of my life either with myself, my siblings or my own children.

    Kate, I guess I have a problem with communication skills, as well. I've worked as a home health care professional for years and seen many things that just don't add up to love when someone isn't able to care for themselves anymore.

    For instance, a ninety-something year old woman who was left alone, except for her caregivers and infrequent visits from 2 family members. She began to have fewer and fewer moments of lucidity. They thought she had alzheimer's, but we caregivers knew different. On the rare occasions when someone different from her past would drop in to visit, like from her church, she'd blossom and come alive and be the perfect hostess, very lucid and vibrant. Yet, her family never saw that she got to get out and visit her church during her last years, even though it wouldn't have been a problem for those caring for her to see that she got there. She was dying from boredom and lack of interest in her as a whole person.

    Another example is where there was a bed-ridden woman who was lovingly being taken care of by caregivers and had been experiencing infrequent bouts of non-lucidity, whereas otherwise she was bright and sweet and sharp as a tack, even content with being cared for in her home with infrequent visits from family members. When her lawyer daughter came to visit from out-of-state and the woman had a short bout with non-lucidity, the daughter jerked the woman up and had her put in a nursing home so she could take over her estate and other financial holdings. The woman came out of it after waking up in the nursing home and called the police and told them she'd been kid-napped, but there was nothing they could do and the woman died not long after.

    I could relate quite a few more examples, but I hope this explains why I take the stand that I do. These people die because no one (who counts) really cares about more than their physical well-being, and sometimes not even that much.

  • bikerchic


    I've worked as a home health care professional for years and seen many things that just don't add up to love when someone isn't able to care for themselves anymore.

    I had no idea you've seen so much and now I totally understand where you are coming from. Thanks so much for the explanation it really clarifies things for me now. I've only been speaking from my small circle of family and friends experience as well as my own experiences. Makes a huge difference and I've truly got to hand it to you gal for being such a caring person, I've always known I couldn't do health care or nursing of any kind I just couldn't handle it and it does take a special person I have so much respect for you and people like you.

    Thanks for all you do Frannie.

    *waves "HI" back at Chris*

  • AlmostAtheist

    bttt, anyone who needs us, we're right here. Just pm me. Don't hesitate.


  • KW13

    Depression, however its caused does affect judgement and its sad to have it, i've been depressed and i know that the thing we need most is to get rid of the problem(s) that are causing the anxiety, but Suicide is the wrong choice, its final and brutal. Likely people depressed might think they have an issue, and are looking to blame themselves for their situation or even blame others. I know that situations exist where the only way out seems to be suicide, but thats not a solution. Anyone who is feeling down, please accept davids offer and even PM me if you want to talk and depending on how you feel, as soon as i can i will telephone. Personally i have been near suicide, i let everything get me down and nothing seemed to work out, life was falling apart with me leaving school early because of depression, then getting kicked out of college for drinking a LOT and coming in class drunk. Stepdad was a bully, mum didn't believe me and when i started church she kicked me out. i know my problems may not equal yours and i am not 'qualified' to deal with these things other than by experience. The key thing to remember is, YOU WANT to do something about your situation, your just not sure how. Give Dave and others that offer here a chance, we will listen.

  • IP_SEC

    This thread deserves a bump every now and then just in case.

  • hillary_step


    Knowing you personally made your post all the more poignant.

    You are a good man.


  • BrendaCloutier

    Interesting this should pop to the top... I came across Ary's email addy and phone number on my own puter a couple days ago. With deep regrets I deleted it. I never met him in person, but we were hoping to meet up the summer just before he left us. Shit.

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