I'm not too sure if my point is coming across very well or if I really understand yours but I am trying and basically in the long run it's all okay we can have different views and opinions I'm just expressing mine however clumsily I am at it. This is a serious subject and it goes deep into my soul as I've dealt with it most of my life either with myself, my siblings or my own children.
Kate, I guess I have a problem with communication skills, as well. I've worked as a home health care professional for years and seen many things that just don't add up to love when someone isn't able to care for themselves anymore.
For instance, a ninety-something year old woman who was left alone, except for her caregivers and infrequent visits from 2 family members. She began to have fewer and fewer moments of lucidity. They thought she had alzheimer's, but we caregivers knew different. On the rare occasions when someone different from her past would drop in to visit, like from her church, she'd blossom and come alive and be the perfect hostess, very lucid and vibrant. Yet, her family never saw that she got to get out and visit her church during her last years, even though it wouldn't have been a problem for those caring for her to see that she got there. She was dying from boredom and lack of interest in her as a whole person.
Another example is where there was a bed-ridden woman who was lovingly being taken care of by caregivers and had been experiencing infrequent bouts of non-lucidity, whereas otherwise she was bright and sweet and sharp as a tack, even content with being cared for in her home with infrequent visits from family members. When her lawyer daughter came to visit from out-of-state and the woman had a short bout with non-lucidity, the daughter jerked the woman up and had her put in a nursing home so she could take over her estate and other financial holdings. The woman came out of it after waking up in the nursing home and called the police and told them she'd been kid-napped, but there was nothing they could do and the woman died not long after.
I could relate quite a few more examples, but I hope this explains why I take the stand that I do. These people die because no one (who counts) really cares about more than their physical well-being, and sometimes not even that much.