Will DA'ing myself be better for my children's future?

by indoubt 34 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gill

    My suggestion only, so feel free to ignore it.

    Court your wife with a vengeance. Support her in all her JW activities and make her the happiest wife in your area. Then! Bite the bullet and explain to her your true feelings on the WTBTS, when the time is right. At first she may insist that she wants to continue in dub land - continue to completely support her.....then .... see if her thinking processes don't suddenly start working.

    Your kids deserve to be rescued from the cult....and your wife. But you have to be cleverer than the WTBTS to do it.

    These tactics certainly worked for my husband. It took about a year... and then I also started to fade....at the time still believing that we were now all 'doomed'.

    But...the longer you stay in the bOrg, the more affected your children will be. I certainly see the difference in the attitudes of my older children (early twenties) and my younger ones, (thirteen and 6).

    I hope it works for you.

    Best Wishes


  • cyberdyne systems 101
    cyberdyne systems 101

    My own situation is that I am D'fd and separated from my wife. I basically talk to my children about the Bible, using that as a more neutral view point. I have read scriptures such as Heb 11 and where at verse 16 it says a place in Heaven, and I ask what they think it means. Of course it looks like these faithful ones are going to Heaven not the Earth as per WTS teachings. This way they can see there is 'interpretation' , there are many verses I simply never saw as a Witness that I have now that I read it without their bias. Do it gently and kindly show them there are different alternatives, something I was isolated from growing up as a witness myself.

  • jwfacts

    Corn, it is good to see you are moving on. Six months is not long, so there is no rush to push your wife, as she makes a new circle of friends being part of the congregation will be less important. I agree with what you say, the best way to help children is to let them have normal friends, they quickly see that these are as nice and worthy of Gods love as JW kids.

    Cybedyne, one of the difficulties I had, and then my daughter has had (and most JWs) is that they do not know that other doctrines are better supported biblically than what is in the Watchtower. When i learnt and then started to explain to my daughter other viewpoints she started to realise that the WTS does not even teach what the bible says. Once a person knows that the WTS is not directed by God and reads the bible again it is amazing how it takes on a different meaning.

  • jgnat

    I also vote for the family bible study. This way you make your stand known while engaging their hearts and minds. Perhaps a plain reading of the gospel of John to start. Ask lots of questions to encourage independent thinking. Your children are of the bouncy age, so I'd keep study time to fifteen minutes or so followed by some fun.

  • hamsterbait

    If you DA , then you will polarize the issue in your family.

    You, Satan and everlasting death on one side, and Mommy Jehoober and Pandas in Paradise on the other.

    Your kids will then be forced - almost as in a divorce situation, between loving you (the Evil One), or supporting Mommy in her fight to help save them for the congregation who will love bomb them constantly.

    As long as you can stop them getting baptized before 17, the WT will lose, as by then your children will be fully sexualized beings, who don't want guilt trips about their desires.

    Don't make an issue of the meetings. But by God, when those kids do go make sure that you go off doing things they would far rather do than sit bored or being slapped in the back room. Go on trips with other relatives and their kids to fairs, swimming fishing.

    When the kids do go with you instead of the meetings, make sure that what you all do is so life enhancing and joyful they see how dead and controlling the WT is.


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