Many Questions

by urstruly 99 Replies latest jw experiences

urstruly

Hi I'm new to this forum.

I've looked at other websites to and I see all this about the JW's, now I'm not one, I was raised a JW but made my own decision and my parents respected that. I've read so many horror stories, but my life wasn't like that at all, as a matter of fact, when they first knocked on our door and my mother accepted a study our life changed for ever, it was for the best in many ways. I don't agree with some of the things but honestly if it wasn't for that knock on our door I just don't know what could have happened with a mother in to drugs an alcoholic dad and many many other things going on.

I don't agree with there beliefs, but if it gives others hope why mess with that? I'm sorry for what some of you have gone through but it sounds like some of you are just upset for being "punished", if you knew the consequences why get into it in the first place? And if you weren't happy being there either in anyhow, why be upset now because you were DF and even appealing? Also, if you all are happy of being free, why hide behind nicknames or false pictures? The way I see it, (I don't remember exactly what scripture) but if I recall correctly God says "vengence is mine" so does he really need you all or this website to uncover what ever is wrong within the org.? If you all still believe in a God and his power, why don't you all leave it in his hands? Also, I see many harsh comments about JW's themselves and some JW's responding rudely, but how do you really know that it is one of them and not someone else passing as one just making them look worse?

All religions have there skeletons and all have there rules to abide by so what makes the JW's so special? Mormons can't aren't supposed to drink coffee, Pentecostals aren't supposed to cut there hair, wear make-up, or jewelery are we going to condone them for their beliefs? If it makes that person that believer happy then so be it. If you're going to be in you're going to abide by the rules regardless of agreeing or not otherwise pay the consequences. Just like getting your license, there are speed limits you have to abide by otherwise you pay the consequences. Or like when you where in school and you were thougt evolution all lies (I don't know what to believe, but I don't agree with evolution either) but you had homework to get done or pay the consequences no matter what you believed.

Besides who are we to judge?

What does being free to you all mean? Being able to swear and live inmoral life? Like I mentioned before, I don't agree with many of their beliefs I do however admire the high moral standards which SOME of them really do try to live by, and even though I'm not one of them I live by those morals thought to me and I can assure you I believe I've "saved" myself from so much hardship. Believe me I should know, I work at gynecology clinic where you see 13yr old girls getting pregnant, I've seen a 14yr old girl who turned out to be positive with HIV, 20yr old who already has had 5 abortions, boys and girls with gonorrhea and chlamydia. Is that what being free is all about?

I'm not judging anyone, I don't know any one of you so who am I to judge, all I'm trying to say is: there is some good in the JW's so why mess that up for them?

Again, I need to emphasize this, not because I sympathieze much with the JW's but there are some people in there that are honest and true to their beliefs regardless of what they are based on. Does God need our help to uncover the lies? Besides, this might backfire, what ever you're trying to achieve might end up turning the other way around. I'm sure God has his ways of dealing with this and he will. I'm sure that if people search and want to find the "truth" they will, but maybe this makes THEM happy and this IS what THEY want to believe. Just like you have the right to believe what you want and you made up your own mind let them decide on their own without having to read experiences of disgruntled JW's that weren't for forced to make a decision but knew what they were getting into in the first place regardless of believing lies or no lies, the truth is you did. You found out they were lies, and now your out. Can't that be the end of that?
About child mollestation in the org. I don't think there's any org. that's free of these cases. As a matter of fact, I know for a fact that in my mothers congregation there was someone acused of sexual abuse, and the authorities where notified and he was deported! This was about 4 years ago. I was mollested as a child also, and I have to be honest the elders really helped me, my mother would be the one saying I was lying, she couldn't believe her own brother my uncle would do such a thing. But the elders had a talk with her, this one family actually opened the doors to their home so that I would be safe until my mom did something about it. (By the way, my uncle is not a JW he is a dovout catholic) So, I can't say I've had any bad experiences within, I just don't agree with some of their beliefs. But again, if it makes some of them happy and they are sincere, then let them be. To each his own.

I hope you all can keep and open mind.

I apologize for making this so long.
Cheers
BlackSwan of Memphis

Many, if not most of the people on this board were not disfellowshipped for immorality or drugs or whatnot.
Many were disfellowshipped for simply wanting to know the whole truth about the Organization. Some of us, who were born and raised in it, have learned things After we were baptized, that are quite unbecoming of a religion that claims it is the sole channel of communication from God, that it is the one and only truth.
I am really, really happy that you have not lost contact with your mom or family. Many, many others have.
A person should not have to choose between the way they choose to worship God (OR not worship God/dess as the case may be) and their family.
truthfully, that's the tip of a very large iceberg.
welcome
meagan
billyboy

The problem with sites like this is that they portray a picture of JWs which is impossible to reconcile with what witnesses (and many outsiders) know to be the case.
The impression that is given is of an organisation riddled with child abusers , of dumb "dubs" of minimal education dominated by power hungry , uncaring elders and a corrupt , shadowy elite Governing body.
You (and I) know that this isn't the case.
AlmostAtheist

Welcome, UrsTruly!
Glad you stopped by. There is some justifiable anger directed toward the Watchtower, but there's also some over-the-top demonizing of them that they perhaps don't fully deserve.
You mention choice, as in you choose to be a JW, and if you later don't like the consequences, well, it was your decision, right? In some cases (like mine) that's true. But in many cases, it's not. If a person is raised a JW, they have little choice. True, they can say they'd rather not be baptized. But that's a very grown-up bit of reasoning to ask of a 12-year-old. Generally, kids raised as JW's will get baptized young, before they have a chance to really know what they think. So choice isn't in the picture.
And unlike your average church, JW's break up familes (via disfellowshipping) and terminate people's lives (via their no-blood policy). So they don't quite deserve the live-and-let-live, hands-off approach you might take with another belief set chosen at random.
Just my opinion of course.
Dave
unique1

Well, I am not DF'd at this time. I did not choose to join the witnesses. I was born into it and baptized at 13 so I wouldn't disappoint my parents. Now, later in life, I don't agree with some of their teachings, but I can't tell them that or I will be disfellowshipped and my only relatives won't talk to me anymore. I will not leave my best friend who is disfellowshipped, and if I am caught hanging out with her I too will be disfellowshipped. Disassociation and Disfellowshipping have the same announcement nowadays "So and So is no longer a member of JW". Let the shunning begin. So we hide because we love our family and don't want to lose them. We look to fade so we can keep everyone happy. I don't hate the JW's I just wish they would live and let live.
troubled mind

I for one am glad there are sites like this were I can go ,and find people that understand how I feel. This board has a wide range of posters- each with unique experiences ,and you look ,and read until you find what speaks to you. We don't have to agree with everyone's point of view ..that's what's so great, everyone can have an opinion w/o feeling oppressed about expressing it. I was raised my whole life believing my religion was the "truth".Now in my forties I'm finding out that is just not true .Can I just leave and go on to find something else? ....no........Because if I do my children will be expected to shun me the rest of my life ....do you get that at all !!!! I have no desire to go off and live some immoral life style .I just want to find out if there is any real truth when it comes to worshipping God. I have had painful doubts over the years that caused depression and burdened my conscience .Now I find I'm not alone there are others going through similar things.....that's comfort !!
metatron

Care to debate any of those points?
The literature is (increasingly) dumbed down, they do discourage college education, the Society does and has covered up child
molestation and Witnesses are commonly depressed -- and quietly "voting with their wallets" , forcing the Watchtower to cut food
service at assemblies, hard bound book printing, subscriptions and announce layoffs at Bethel.
Any questions?
Look, if the Society stopped breaking up families and compelling people to refuse blood transfusions ( a "disassociation" offense),
would sites like this exist? Who would bother? The fault is theirs, not ours. They brazenly refuse to change and are suffering
accordingly as more people wake up to their wrongdoing.
metatron
HockeyMullet

I don't think you'll get a response, though.
I also don't think the "Reasoning" book or any other of their pubs have a section to argue these points.
cruzanheart

Welcome to the board, urstruly! I think I can answer your questions very simply: Jehovah's Witnesses set themselves up as the ONLY true religion, the ONLY ones who are showing true Christian love, the ONLY ones who are going to make it through Armageddon. If they would just admit that they have made false prophecies, acknowledge a problem within the organization about child abuse and try to fix it instead of covering it over, admit that they are nothing more than another mainstream fundamentalist religion, and get rid of that incredibly stupid disfellowshipping/disassociating shunning nonsense, then perhaps we wouldn't be so angry.
FYI, I haven't been either DF'd or DA'd (at least, not to my knowledge), but because I no longer attend meetings I have only a couple of Witness friends. Everyone else dropped me like a hot potato. Is that a sign of true Christian love?
Yes, I agree that some people make very favorable changes in their lives when they become Witnesses -- it gives them a focus in their lives. But the underlying rules and regulations eventually oppress people and make them mean and isolated from reality. That's not a good thing.
Nina
DannyBloem

Hi, and welcome.
First of all, I am still considered a witness by others, so I did not left yet, and know how the situation within the organization is.
I don't agree with there beliefs, but if it gives others hope why mess with that? I'm sorry for what some of you have gone through but it sounds like some of you are just upset for being "punished", if you knew the consequences why get into it in the first place? And if you weren't happy being there either in anyhow, why be upset now because you were DF and even appealing?

I am not DF-ed. I did not had much of a choice anyway. I grow up to be a witness, that makes it kind of hard to choice. (well for me at last).
I do mind to give people hope, if it is a false hope. I was happy in, until I get to know the truth behind the organization. I am not upset by the way.
Also, if you all are happy of being free, why hide behind nicknames or false pictures?
Not all do. I do, because I am not yet free...
The way I see it, (I don't remember exactly what scripture) but if I recall correctly God says "vengence is mine" so does he really need you all or this website to uncover what ever is wrong within the org.? If you all still believe in a God and his power, why don't you all leave it in his hands? Also, I see many harsh comments about JW's themselves and some JW's responding rudely, but how do you really know that it is one of them and not someone else passing as one just making them look worse?
I do agree that sometimes JW's are not given a lot of repect on this forum. This should be better. Individual JW's are mostly not to blame.

All religions have there skeletons and all have there rules to abide by so what makes the JW's so special? Mormons can't aren't supposed to drink coffee, Pentecostals aren't supposed to cut there hair, wear make-up, or jewelery are we going to condone them for their beliefs?
They are not much different then other fanatical christians or sects, that is true. I hope there are ex-mormon and ex-pentacostal sites also (I do not know, nor care to much, since I never been any of these)
What does being free to you all mean? Being able to swear and live inmoral life? Like I mentioned before, I don't agree with many of their beliefs I do however admire the high moral standards which SOME of them really do try to live by, and even though I'm not one of them I live by those morals thought to me and I can assure you I believe I've "saved" myself from so much hardship.
Some of their moral standards are okay of course. But the problem is that they are forced upon you.
Being free to me means, being able to think for myself. That is something highly discaourages in JW-ism.
By the way some of their moral standards are not good at all. For example their view on blood is exactly the opposite of healthy. You with your work should know this. This is not done because of what individual JW';s do believe but it is forced upon them.
About child mollestation in the org. I don't think there's any org. that's free of these cases. As a matter of fact, I know for a fact that in my mothers congregation there was someone acused of sexual abuse, and the authorities where notified and he was deported! This was about 4 years ago. I was mollested as a child also, and I have to be honest the elders really helped me, my mother would be the one saying I was lying, she couldn't believe her own brother my uncle would do such a thing. But the elders had a talk with her, this one family actually opened the doors to their home so that I would be safe until my mom did something about it. (By the way, my uncle is not a JW he is a dovout catholic) So, I can't say I've had any bad experiences within, I just don't agree with some of their beliefs. But again, if it makes some of them happy and they are sincere, then let them be. To each his own.
I am very sorry to hear this. problems with this are in all parts of society. I do not know if they are more in the WTS then other places. Personally do not think so. And yes they have quidelines against those things, and mostly the elders will help etc.
There are however some problems. Many times there is no legal concequence (kept in the congregation only). And elders are not specialized in this field, which sometimes causes wrong help. Then lot of times nothing is done, when things should be done, because of the two witness rules.
I know that most elders will try to help as good as they can. Sometimes this is not enough.
I do thing websites like this are needed, since God does not do it himself, we have to show to willing people that they are lied to. People have to get information, I think this is very important. (and who says God, does not use this board :)
Danny

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