by pennycandy 38 Replies latest jw experiences
Let's say you go back to your hometown for a family funeral. You're not df'd or da'd, but most haven't heard from you for many years. You know you'll get the inevitable "So are you going to meetings?" or "What congregation do you attend?" at the funeral or afterward.
What would be some low-key, situation-appropriate responses?
Just be honest.
Tell them, "No, I don't attend meetings anymore. And, I am the happiest that I have ever been". (If that is true).
If I said that in my little hometown congregation the feathers would fly. My grandmother's memorial service would be pushed to backstage and within minutes every elder in the KH would be asking if they could talk to me privately. My mother would cry, "How could you do this to me in front of all my friends?" and my five years of careful fading would disintegrate.
Okay, maybe that's a little dramatic. But it would definitely create a stir. I hate the thought that my grandmother's funeral turning into a gossip fest about me, but that would be their doing, not mine.
Maybe something along the lines of "That's kind of personal, doncha think?" Or maybe, "I'd rather not talk about that at my grandmother's funeral." I'm not into lying to keep my nose clean anymore, but I also don't think the situation is appropriate for the inevitable shocked gasps and shepherding that's sure to ensue if I'm brutally honest.
Not to mention the elders wouldn't hesitate to find out where my publisher card is and contact them to help me back to the flock. Then I'll probably be up against the wall to make it official.
"So are you going to meetings?" response: No
"What congregation do you attend?" response: I don't.
Look the person square in the eye and smile
Josie
"look the person square in the eye and smile" hahah
Maybe something along the lines of "That's kind of personal, doncha think?" Or maybe, "I'd rather not talk about that at my grandmother's funeral." I'm not into lying to keep my nose clean anymore, but I also don't think the situation is appropriate for the inevitable shocked gasps and shepherding that's sure to ensue if I'm brutally honest.
I agree, avoidance maybe the best option for you to avoid the drama during something where the focus should be elsewhere.
Josie
How about ' No, I am not at the moment. But let's just keep that between you and I for the moment. Ok? '
If encountering one you suspect might like to fade too, you might say "No, and if u want to discuss it privately after the services I would love to have a coffee one on one." Thus leaving the door open for a 'witness'.
Dang that witness mentality popped up again.
Jeff
Great suggestions. I'll keep them all at the ready and pull out whichever seems appropriate at the time.
Jeff, yeah, wouldn't it be something if I found some else in the same boat?
I'll let you know how it went after the weekend.
The last time I went to something associated with the jws no one asked me those questions. I had the feeling that they already knew that I was no longer associated with the bOrg, possiblely from my mother who loves to play the martyr.
ummm how bout " The WTBTS is a lying cult that puts people under compulsion to believe things that aren't scriptural and to act cruely toward other members over petty issues for long lengths of time ."
Works for me ....
