What could I say?

by pennycandy 38 Replies latest jw experiences

  • TallTexan

    I agree w/ Billygoat. I used to use that all the time when I'd be cornered by my parent's friends, or people I hadn't seen in a while. It wasn't that I cared what they thought of me, but out of respect for my family who was still going, I'd use the "I live in ____ now." Most witnesses aren't smart enough to catch the drift that you don't actually go to the meetings anymore. I mean, how could you be happy, right?? ;-)

    The only time you really get nailed with this one is when the town you live in has multiple congregations and they ask "Which hall do you go to?" That's when you conveniently see someone you need to go talk to.

    Overall, I agree that it is way tasteless for them to even ask, but then we are talking about JW's.....

  • Rabbit

    I'd like to say: "I'm so sorry, but, I cannot make any comments, according to my attorney, because of the on-going litigation against them."

    But, seriously what someone else said:

    "I am here to memorialize my loved one (the decedent). I really don't want to discuss anything else at this time. Let's focus on what a wonderful person so-and-so was

    ...is a lot better approach I think. Or perhaps confuse the issue like I did this summer at a family reunion (mostly JW's) I said "Fine...I'm just fine...I just want to hear all about you..." I started asking dozens of questions which kept them at bay for a while. My Aunt & Uncle came back later 'one-on-one' which is the way I hoped it would be. I did not want the pressure of me or them 'playing to an audience'. I also didn't want the '2 witness rule' to come into play.

    I got asked the 'killer' question "Do you still believe this is God's org....?" I was just real non-committal, "I have some questions", I'm not sure about some things", "I'm looking into those things" and of course, 'Yes, I am praying for answers."

    My very favorite: "Are you really spending time thinking about Jehovah's promises thru his Faithful Slave ? About Paradise... & Armageddon...?" Me: "Oh, yeah. You would never believe just how much I think of that. You'd be surprised at the time I spend talking to others about that...!" (I almost laughed then) Them: Well, OK. That's good to hear!

    I smiled confidently -- looked them in the eyes...and BS'd them, just like I was taught as a pioneer. Later, I felt bad I was in effect 'lying by omision' to my own relatives. But, considering they would have felt compelled to 'turn me in' to the elders for 'help' if I told them the truth...that 'bad' feeling went away. I cannot afford to officially lose access to my children by being DF, it's bad enough being marked.


  • DavidChristopher


    I am right with you buddy. And I LOVE it as well. I have never felt so alive in my whole life.

    I pray for the accusations, stupid orders, and the ol' lady's bitching.

    I won't stop until they question for themselves who told them such a stupid thing. I always end up here..."Well you just gotta do it, because nobody can change it."

    I never allow myself to get out of control, I keep the upper hand and my cool. So if they don't, they make themselves look bad in front of themselves, or anyone around. I am simply a child asking questions, trying to learn, "flattering" them with my undivided attention.

  • Mysterious

    If someone gets pushy act all choked up and say now is not a good time to talk. (I would assume since you are going to the funeral then you were at least reasonably close to whoever died)

  • pennycandy

    Great ideas, everyone. The nun's habit and the fake nose & mustache are especially tempting.

    I'm going to have a list of the best of these in my purse to refer to and also a list of change of topic subjects.

    I'm off to my hometown now. I'll post of the experience when I get back.

    Thanks, guys!

  • Billygoat
    The only time you really get nailed with this one is when the town you live in has multiple congregations and they ask "Which hall do you go to?" That's when you conveniently see someone you need to go talk to.

    The Drink Spill comes in handy at this point too. I hate to say I've done that to extricate myself from a conversation. Accidentally drop or knock over your drink. It'll send the conversation into a tailspin as everyone jumps to grab papertowels. It's always a convenient time to make an exit to another room or more comfortable conversation.

  • Balsam

    The thing is as ex-witnesses we are under no obligation to say anything to active witness if they ask us if we attend meetings. I think as you mentioned simply saying "This is really not the place I feel comfortable discussing the matter" is good enough. Tell them to give you a call sometimes and you can catch me up on what you've been doing. You know darn well they won't bother especially if it's long distance. Just get those feet moving and dodge those nosey JW questions. LOL Balsam

  • greendawn

    I also agree that at a funeral you can appear as very sad and tell them that you are not in the mood to answer any questions.

  • TallTexan
    The Drink Spill comes in handy at this point too.

    See, there are many alternatives to answering the question. If it weren't for several family members who are very close to me who would be 'punished' for my actions, I'd tell them all to screw off.....

Share this