here is yet another thread about me (im so sorry everyone) but hopefully this is the closing chapter, and i just wanted to let anyone thats helped me along the way to know whats happened.
i saw my dad and this time i was totally honest, he took me to some places we went as a child and said basically i have NO choice but to stop seeing my boyfreind, and attend the meetings again maybe even work at mending my marriage as that is the only way i will ever be truely happy (apparently)
I said that even tho it means the past 9 months of attending and trying to get reinstated are a waste i just have to stop going to the meetings, i do not believe the society really acting on jehs behalf, (jeh would never shun me, etc) he said he cannot believe how spiritual iwas and that i am so 'apostate' now and in veiw of that he can have nothing to do with me, he cried i cried he said i am dead to him and it breaks his heart esp as he has to deal with the tumours he has found out he has,
i feel so bad as he has tried to answer my questions and has come up with an answer on them all (except the un) and i know i am throwing contact with my family away and hurting them alot. part of me was still tempted to get reinstated but i cant live a lie anymore i want to keep proving to myself it defo isnt the 'truth' so i feel stronger coz this is so hard, but i want to give it a proper go with my boyfriend who has stuck by me through everything.
i got a letter off my mum this morning (who threw me out of the house when she found out how i felt) bascially saying it was her last attempt to reach me, coz she thinks i dont realise the extent of what i am giving up 'my marriage sharing my little girl, my family extended family and all my friends, fincail security etc' i will write back and tell her i do realise but i cant live a lie!
i feel so bad and yet alittle stronger now inside i hate hurting them but i want nothing more than to try and have a 'normal' life with my boyfreind, when we do move in together that will hurt them even more, it is so cruel what this religon does,
but i have done the right thing HAVEN'T I?