well i finally did it!

by Cordelia 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • evita

    You did the right thing but I know how painful it was. My mother cried, begged, and pleaded with me not to leave. Then she shunned me for many years even though I was not DA or DF. I was devastated.
    You are not your parents. The way they are ( beliefs, emotions, reasoning) was shaped by events that took place before you were born. You have no control over their path in life. They have chosen or let themselves be duped into loyalty to an organization.
    But you have chosen something different for yourself. You will not sacrifice your life for a belief system which is damaging and untrue. I feel deeply sorry that your parents can't see that right now.
    This is probably the hardest phase of leaving. Counseling can be very helpful. Eventually, everyone gets used to the situation and goes about their lives without all the painful drama.
    I have never regretted my decision to leave the org. even though it was a most brutal experience. I was able to go to college, marry a great guy, and have three wonderful kids.
    I wish you the best in your new life.

  • daystar


    "Every journey starts with a single step"

  • garybuss

    You wrote: i hate hurting themI haven't read where you hurt them. Sorry if I missed that part. From what I read, your relatives are willing, able, and ready to shun and snub you because you want freedom of / from religion. I guess I can't see that alone as you hurting them. It reads like they are being hurt by their own behaviors. If they are, then ONLY they have the power to change that.

    All they have to do is say to you: "I love you and I accept you just the way you are."

  • DanTheMan

    Cordelia, you sure seem like a sweet gal. It's a shame that you have to go through this.

    he took me to some places we went as a child and said basically i have NO choice but to stop seeing my boyfreind, and attend the meetings again maybe even work at mending my marriage as that is the only way i will ever be truely happy

    But..you're 30! 30!

    Parents who can't give their adult children the freedom to chart their own course in life, tomorrow on Oprah.

  • luna2

    Good girl, Cordy! Taking a stand is hard, but its the adult thing to do.

    Ultimately there will be much more peace in your life because your family will know that they can't push and pull you all over the place any more, trying to force you to live the way they want you to.

  • LittleToe


    KK writes: Its like someone saying 'if you leave me I will kill myself, and you will have murdered me'. NOT SO. Thats blackmail, and each person makes their own decision and lives by it.

    This might be something you would want to write in a reply letter. Phone calls fade from memory, but letters (assuming they aren't destroyed) last forever...

    Well done in standing your ground. You will likely become a stronger person from this. (((hugs)))

  • Es

    big hugs babe i know how hard it can be, but now you will feel happiness, peace and a big sense of calmness come over you

    enjoy your NEW life


  • Cordelia

    thanks everyone, i got home at dinner today and there was the latest awake and wt and a note off my dad posted thru the door, his note in part said 'this is definately the last time i will leave stuff for you because if you haev not been reached yet i dont think you can be! as i said in my last letter if you can leave everyone for this boy, if you are critical of the truth,if youre not bothered about your old house etc, and you can live like this then you have removed yourself from ALL of us. You can only change by rebuilding your releationship with jehovah, please think seriously about your course of action.'

    then there is a print out about how i am now joined to the 'evil slave' (apostates)

    i feel like ive had enough i never thought i would feel so hard, i love them with all my heart but i hate what is happening and the only thing they are saying i should do is go back to jeh, im so tired of saying do you mean go back to jeh or the jws coz its not the same thing!

    ps, i really hope he didnt see my baby christmas tree thru the window!!

  • deeskis


    thanks for answering my post when you're going through all this right now. i've read all your threads and i hope you can now get some peace with your decision and can move on.

    i was lucky that we moved from Scotland to Australia and i never went back to meetings so was never disfellowshipped. i had a couple of visits from the elders as my parents started going back. I'll write about it later, (too busy just now with all the Christmas hoohaa, bah humbug, only joking i love it!!)

    Anyway when the elders visited me i said that i was not happy with any organised religion as power goes to peoples heads. they tried to argue the point that they were God's representatives............the visits didn't last long.

    Anyway i've printed out UN letters, watched the Aussie Sunday programme on silent lambs, and am just biding my time with my folks, i'v planted the seed and don't want to push it. What's the rush, I've been out 24 years noww!!

    Best wishes


  • jt stumbler
    jt stumbler

    Best wishes Cord! I feel for you.

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