I want to see your children, but shun you!

by free2beme 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • kwintestal

    I went through all this in the Summer, around the time when we were announced as being DF'd. Immediately prior to the announcement, my father called to find out what their relationship with my kids was going to be. Of course, at the time I had no idea the a DF'ing was immenant so I basically said the same it's always been, but when it got around to us not being a part of those visits it was a different story.

    We will not have them seeing our kids and subtling "saving" them behind our backs (because you and I both know that's what's going to happen) and allowing our kids to think this behaviour is acceptable. No way.

    Well, that was August and they haven't called our house once to speak to us or the kids. Our lives are going on, and THEY'RE the ones missing out on it.


  • mouthy

    that my famiI got the "shun speach" too many times to count. Yes, i did allow them to see my son and i didnt involved, because honestly i thought that my son needed a relationship with his grandparents. But after some current events, i am cutting those ties completly. It is just better that way. I will always have hope ly will one day be like your's and put the differences aside for the sake of their grandson! Sorry to read the above love!!! But I do think it would be wise to STOP them seeing the Grand Parents I KNOW cases where they brain washed the kids behind the parents back & told them to keep it a secret... Dont trust a JW !!! I love them all But they are taught the ONLY thing in life that is worth while is to get as many on board the ARK? even with out the rest of the family!!!

  • Gill

    The relationship we have with my parents is normal. They know that I'm very anti WTBTS but this has not changed the relationship.

    The relationship with my husband's family no longer exists. They turn their backs on me and my children when ever they see us, even though they only live 100 yards up the road from us. They speak to my husband only when they want something. We have five kids the youngest being 6, and she has been into her grandparents house on two occassions. The twins have been in their house, about five times. Now, when MIL sees any of them, she pulls a face reminiscent of just having smelt something nasty and FIL is just as bad.

    However, their JW grandchildren get to stay around every weekend and are taken out for treats regularly, including foreign holidays.

    Oh well, In the end...what goes around, comes around. I'm looking forwards to that particular treat!

  • Mary
    Anyone else ever get the, "I want to see your children, but shun you!" speech or comment?

    A good friend of mine (who is not DF'd or DA'd, but hasn't been to the Hall in over 10 years), is no longer allowed to see her grandchildren. And why is that? Because her holier-than-thou-sons (who are both elders), found out that she (gasp!) celebrates Christmas and will not let her see her grandchildren anymore. She hasn't seen them for over 2 years now. But both her sons are always more than willing to take whatever material benefits they can from her. They don't know it yet, but because of their disgusting, pious behaviour, she's cutting them out of her Will and is leaving everything to her other son------the one who's paying their mortgage and is no longer a Dub (and is therefore evil).

    These boys are gonna blow a gasket when they find out they don't get anything but as far as I'm concerned---they don't deserve it after what they've done to their mother.

  • Finally-Free
    she's cutting them out of her Will and is leaving everything to her other son------

    I hope everyone who is shunned considers doing something similar. If they don't want you then they shouldn't expect your money either. Why leave money or property to a relative that treats you like shit, only to have them turn around later and donate some of it to the cult that told them to treat you like shit?


  • hamsterbait

    NEVER NEVER EVER leave your young children with a witless relative.

    It will be - "would you like to live in a happy world where we can cuddle pandas and tigers and big ol' bears in the sparkling sunlight by the blue sea?"

    The child senses a certain intensity - should she say "no" then Gran'ma will be upset. Better say "yes". Next thing is other witlesses come round -

    "My Grandchild wants to live forever in a golden happy paradise, who wants to tell her how?"

    Once they are told of Armageddy, then you can guarantee tearful bedtime episodes.


  • mrsjones5

    My parents gave my kids the new children's book and an old copy of the paradies lost book. When I saw them I promptly took them and put them away from the children. My father asked one of my kids about the books and if they had read them. My child said no, mommie took them and put them up. To this day my kids have not seen the books and never will.


  • Es

    Thats great.

    Im not sure if tht would work in my case but hey there not talking to me now anyway and i kinda like it.

    Although i was told that my dad shed a tear when he heard my 3 year old gave me away at my wedding last sunday

    Oh well his loss


  • Gretchen956
    feel that they are just going to die anyway...so they don't want to get attached

    This is the saddest, sickest, most WRONG thing I have ever read.

    In my case my parents tried it with my son too. However, I was not the only one "stumbled," he was too. He told my mom to go pound sand and that he didn't want to hear it any more. I'm sure that she thought I put him up to it as if a teenager ever did what his/her mother told them to in regards something like that!

    Good way to handle it, I'm pround of your assertiveness. I handle it in a different way, I'm reverse shunning my disfunctional family. And life is so much better for it!


  • free2beme

    I agree, that bothered me too

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