I want to see your children, but shun you!

by free2beme 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • alamb

    I recently went to visit my parents who haven't spoken to me in 8 years and have never met my two youngest children. I agreed to go only because they needed help with a personal situation and they had phoned me.

    My mother hid from everyone the fact that I was at her home although I travelled 4 hours to get there with two preschoolers. She never so much as hugged or touched them. Didn't even ask their names. The whole attitude was back to the shunning. I was told I would drive her to town for a Bible study and then meet her at a store later so no one would see who she had ridden with. I picked her up and she directed me to my brother's place of employment. She told me to stay in the car and that she would take my children in and introduce them to their uncle. I was so floored I did it. Then I got the lecture of how selfish I was to not be dragging myself back to the KH for the sake of these children....whatever their names are.

    NEVER AGAIN. If I'm dead, let me die. Their loss.

    I will never show my children that conditional love exists. ever.

  • lisavegas420
    Then I got the lecture of how selfish I was to not be dragging myself back to the KH for the sake of these children....whatever their names are.

    NEVER AGAIN. If I'm dead, let me die. Their loss.

    I will never show my children that conditional love exists. ever.

    OMG.... we have the same mother? Whatever her name is.... ...Couldn't help laugh a little...I know my mom doesn't know the names of my grandchildren. I seriously doubt she or anyone else in my family would even reconize me or my family if we were walking down the street toward them.

    I'm glad your children are too young to understand what is really going on. I refuse to teach my children and grandchildren conditional love either.


  • Cordelia

    it is horriable (and yet so comforting) tohear all your storys, i am shunned and have a 3 year old daughter, but im making a massive choice at the mo, which will result in me being 'dead' apparently to my family, you see my dad still talks slightly as i had been attending all the meetings and working towards reinstatement but i cant do it i cant be reinstated into that religon again, and since i have told them i have had so many problems, sometimes i think i should just go back coz how do you live with losing your family? what if they died or something and you have ruined their last years of life!!

    but you all have been through it and im so sorry and i am doing it too!

    i just hope that having a daughter i can force them to at least have some contact with her!!

    what a cruel religon!

  • alamb

    LisaVegas....I'm afraid there are many cold hearted "grandma's" out there. Sorry to hear you're linked to one. Just look at the person you became, though, because of learning from the how NOT to act.

    Cordelia, I'd be very careful to allow any contact, especially without you present. Speak with GaryB and others who have had their children kidnapped from under the parent's noses. My parents did it with my eldest 3. They signed court affidavits saying I was suicidal (for leaving the truth and wanting to willfully die at the hand of God) and was a bad mother (doing this threatened the spiritual well-being of my children), of course they left out the parts in parenthesis. They will stop at nothing to get your children no matter what the cost to you, as their child. Remember, they think they are "saving" your child, from YOU! Such love.

    Quotes from my court orders:

    These are some of the truest, harshest words in court documents today about the JW religion and I use them to help others in court. My ex got custody on the condition that he abide by these.....which of course he doesn't do, they are issued from "Satan's judicial system" and it's a test of his true faith.

    "Mr. M shall not directly or indirectly expose or allow the children to be exposed to shunning of their mother, or to engage in any family contacts or religious activities that directly or indirectly suggest or expose them to teachings, scriptural interpretations or declarations that Mrs. M is anything less than a good and honorable person and fully worthy of designated, implied, inferred, promised, reserved, assumed, or otherwise available, obtainable or receivable, so called spiritual blessings or rewards which might be obtained or available to faithful religious persons, including faithful members of the JW church. This shall include his exposure of the children to family members, church teachers, preachers, or other advocates of the JW church or to any condemning doctrines or activities. Mr. M shall not have, suggest or cause any religious communications with the chidlren, advise them regarding religion or direct or advise them regarding what their personal conduct or religious activities
    should be, or monitor their activities to determine if they are in
    compliance with his religious beliefs, while they are with Mrs. M."

    "The court believes this conduct negatively affecting the children's relationship with their mother should stop or be condemned. This church judgementalism, coupled with the malicious use of false accusations against their mother and her husband by their father, has nearly frightened these children away from their mother and her husband even though she is a sincere caring mother. Recognizing the children's concerns and fears, the Court ordered that Mr. M be granted custody of the children, at least for the past year. This was granted notwithstanding the terrible wrongs he has perpetrated against his ex-wife and her husband. Mrs. M is treated as spiritually dead by the JW church and the extended family who are members. This rediculous concept of people judging others appears to be a strong part of the religious judgementalistic doctrine and is apparently required of the members of the church."

    "...so long as these children attend church and are indoctrinated in the "only true way" as interpreted by that church, they will continue to be exposed to negative judgmentalism and derogation of their mother...Mr. M's religious zeal has apparently caused him to justify his gross misconduct in this case...."

  • diamondblue1974

    We are prepared to shun you but see your children is evidence of huge double standards; by JW reasoning children of those not a JW will be condemned to death...(apparently) but yet they still wish to see children that are as they put it going to die at Armageddon; its crap...

    If I had children I would take all or nothing stance with them....lets see where they go from there.


  • Jamelle

    My best friend ( who left the JWs at basically the same time I did) has this dilemna with her mother and step-father (an elder). They have made it clear that their grand-daughter is more important to them than their daughter.

    An incredbile bit of hypocrisy that when the oldest daughter is a "fader" who openly lives "in sin" as a model out in CA. AARGH!

    I've seen my friend struggle with the need for childcard she could trust versus knowing that they will take Em to the meetings/teach her about Jehovah.

    Thank the powers that be that I won't have to make that call. I've already decided that NEVER will my parents ever be alone with my children. They have no desire to contact me, talk to me - then they have no business spending time with my children. That's just the way I feel about it - it feels cold to me - but I WILL NOT have any child of mine exposed to their brain washing techniques.

    You said it Mouthy when you referenced the JW fixation with snagging more members for the organization!

Share this