My first time being shunned in public

by xjwms 64 Replies latest jw friends

  • g_cuddles

    so what now is your expectation of life .... do you have any hope of life after death you believe Armagedon is real and soon to come ....

  • MsMcDucket
    so what now is your expectation of life .... do you have any hope of life after death you believe Armagedon is real and soon to come

    You're asking some pretty deep questions. I really don't want to tell you what I really feel because it may be too hard for you to accept. I don't believe that Armagedon is coming soon. I don't even believe in Armagedon. I think that Jehovah's Witnesses are like all the other doomsday cults. Jehovah's Witnesses use Armagedon like other religions use hell. They use this to scare you into serving God. I don't think that you should be afraid of God. Nor, do I believe that God would want you to serve him cause you're afraid that he's going to kill you. This is like staying in an abusive relationship! Not leaving someone that's beating the hell out of you because you're afraid that they will kill you. Then believing that you should let that person keep abusing you instead of kicking his/her butt, and letting them know that they can get killed too! Fear of man is what lays a snare. I chose not to stay in a religion that is abusive, that makes you go against your basics instincts on what is right and wrong.

    Life after death? Who knows? If there is life after death, I know in my heart that it's not based on you being a Jehovah's Witness.

  • g_cuddles

    It wouldnt be to hard for me to exept .... im asking these questions not because Ive never heard this type of reasoning because I have.... Ive met many people who share your views ...but just like you think witnesses are blinded I think those who have not chosen a side are blinded ....those who can say I believe Jehovah exists i just dont believe all those requirements of his..... or all the teachings of his.....or that I can worship god in my own way ...because the bible clearly gives a specific way of doing so ....even other so called "fanatical " religions have a certain way of worshiping thier GOD.....I just want to understand how are you going to chose ... because with all the religions out thier.. many talk of the end coming and only the faithful surviving Armegedon wich is in the bible ...if you believe in the bible...I just wonder where do go from here ....what if it is all true .....what do you do then ....

  • MsMcDucket
    what if it is all true .....what do you do then ....

    That's just my point. I don't believe it's true. I'm tired of what ifs. I have to live my life according to my own abilities. Believing in the witnesses does not qualify. I just don't believe it anymore. So, I guess you could say I'm in search of my religious calling. I tried being a witness and that ain't it.

  • Forscher

    My wife and I were treated to some shunning about 20 years ago. The sad thing was that we'd done nothing wrong and had reported the crime which resulted in our shunning like good little Dubs (our daughter's rape). I can remember encountering other Dubs in stores who would turn around and go the other way when they saw us! It really hurt then.

    Now, a few months ago a whole bunch of Dubs from my last congregation showed up at the same function at the local college that my wife and I went to. They acted like I didn't exist and avoided me (the PO of that congregation was in the group). I didn't bother me because I didn't particularly care to talk to them either. So I reckon I can say that the feeling was mutual. I guess I just want to be left alone, and if their shunning me achieves that (I haven't heard anything about an announcement on me yet), then its alright with me. The loss is more theirs than mine!


  • tazmaniac

    II get many who dont know I was Df'ed. So I grew a beard just to make it easier on them and me. I do get the stares and the whispering behind my back. Many of the very ones that give me the dirtiest looks are the ones that I helped the most. Oh well...

  • Balsam

    Shunning happens to anyone who has been associated with JW's whether baptized or not if they stop coming. Especially if you are baptized though and stop field service and going to meetings. A few Elders will say that inactive ones should not be shunned, but JW's still do it. Most Elders will shun inactive ones. Below is some of the experiences I've had being shunned.

    Being shunned feel weird that is for sure. The first time I experienced it after I was disfellowshipped at a mall. I was taking my youngest son to a movie, and a JW elder's wife was right in front of us walking toward us. She made eye contact and gave me the evil eye filled with disgust & hatred. Well I just smiled and continued to talk to my son and ignore the old battle ax. LOL Another time when entering a KH I'd never been too but wanted to attend a meeting just after being disf'ed we were greated by a JW woman. She was very nice at first till I told her that I was disfellowshipped and hoped she would make my fiance' welcome. She started screaming, which totally shocked me and threw me off. She started hopping back and forth in both feet and waving her hands which of course brought the attention of the entire KH. She then fled and we found a seat. Well everyone had to turn and stare and whisper about us through the whole talk. Later a very nice Elder came up and introduced himself and was very kind, his wife did too. My sweety was shocked at the weird happenings when we came in and right away formed a bad opinion of the witness. At that time I did not reject the JW teachings, and I was at a loss to explain that gal's behavior.

    But recently (its been over 4 years) I had a different experience. I am divorced from my children's father who is an active JW, and he has remarried now for a couple of years. Well our oldest son was at the hosptial with his girlfriend having their baby. Both my sons are disfellowshipped now and the youngest one was there also with me. But surprisingly my JW ex-husband and his new JW wife came up there and his wife whom I had never met spoke kindly to me and I was shocked. They sat right across from me in the waiting room and were both very cordial. No shunning. My ex of course tried not to look at me but that was fine. My dear husband was at the hospital but stayed down at the car so that my ex could have his special time with his son and new grandson. My husband is a wonderful and caring man. Anyway I was very surprised at my ex-s wife speaking to me politely and neither of them showed signs of shunning either of my sons or me. It was very nice, and frankly I thought was very big of them both. For them both to even be up there considering our son is disfellowshipped I think was really impressive. They could easily have refused to have anything to do with the boys and not showed up. They adore the new grandson and I think that is great. That little boy will have lots of love from many directions.

    So some JW can act like they have some sense, and not act bizarre, and a good portion of them act like wacko's. I praise the ones who have the good common sense to behave properly in public and forget the shunning nonsense. Just a recognition of the person with a friendly smile will go much further with those who leave then actly like a rude idiot. How can anyone who believe's that their God is loving and merciful treat people who don't agree with them so unkindly like the examples we've read here. God is much bigger than that crazy rule.

  • DannyHaszard

    The dubs and nearly everyone else in town shopped for groceries at the discount chain Stop and Shop including me.When i was Dfed in 92 all the members of the Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses Rockland Massachusetts STOPPED going to that store (boycotted) and went into the next town.They also stopped going to the only gym in the area (and they had paid memberships there too,because i worked-out there.

    THINK who is this f**ing control freaks with a mean streak but Jehovah's Witnesses WHO?--Danny Haszard

  • Es

    yeah its a bit icky the first time round. Im neither D\A or D\F but i get shunned too. Now i just laugh at them an make a big point of being seen


  • atypical

    I'm curious what the official stance of the gb is towards someone like me who has quit going to meetings and quit going in field service. I too have heard many times that witnesses are not supposed to shun inactive ones. However, I recently found out that my former bookstudy overseer has been telling people I am bad association because I rejected his efforts to to a shepherding call on me (actually, he left one message on my wife's voicemail a couple days before the CO visit. I did not call him back and he did not try again.)

Share this